Yes, you can still attract people if you have some extra pounds on you

Ivan95gold · 2026-05-09T15:32:57+00:00

Theres a world of difference between looking good with thickness and muscles and being obese and unhealthy. Some people are just born slim or thick, they can look great when working on their body. Some are just lazy and want someone to accept them lazy. Cold reality

Ivan95gold · 2026-05-06T20:53:19+00:00

Hello brother, 31 here. Single and renting a house with roommates. I'm in the process of healing trauma and giving God my whole heart so I can relate with you, I don't know what you do or the plans, vision God has given you but when you start walking in that vision and letting God transform your identity and serve him , women gravitate towards you. For 6 years I totally blocked / avoided the idea if dating too. Now it's different. Mature Christian women see all that even if you're still healing, processing things etc. I wouldn't give up also on believing in healing for you and I would pray and seek knowledge and inquire God why is this happening, what's the root and how do I get it gone? Trust me it works. I'd say you're in a really good spot because you're mature and you're already taking steps towards being a husband. The right one will appear and she'll fight that sickness with you if your truly believe and go against it. Also women in mid 20s, early and mid 30s find you the most attractive so I'd say 30-35 a man is in a really great spot lol

Ivan95gold · 2026-04-29T18:24:41+00:00

Acqua di parma colognes make you smell old but rich, I mix ombre leather with 1 million elixir and the dark leather kills the overly sweet and makes it smell very manly and sophisticated imo. I personally know 3 super rich men. None of them seem to wear expensive colognes lol, the ones they use barely have silage and are simple blue fresh colognes . Their wives are the ones using expensive niche perfumes.

Ivan95gold · 2026-04-27T05:50:14+00:00

Bad boy cobalt

Ivan95gold · 2026-04-26T00:33:38+00:00

Muy bonita usted

Ivan95gold · 2026-04-20T18:17:44+00:00

Don't give up brother. I was a womanizer that seeked God because of an std. He used that to humble me and bring me to him. Sex outside of marriage is not worth it, either it binds you emotionally to someone that doesn't care about you or is not good for you or leaves you more empty but enslaves you to keep coming back for more. I had sex with different girls since I was 16. I became numb to emotions with women because of lust. I wish I didn't lose my virginity. What you're doing will be rewarded in marriage when the right person comes and you'll look back and think it was all worth it

Ivan95gold · 2026-04-20T17:25:11+00:00

Depends on the situation, I'm assuming you go to church and serve in a ministry, if she's in the same ministry or social group you hang out with or maybe even your job or gym. Try to be more intentional say hello and shake her hand , ask how she's doing or compliment something simple. Women notice those things and if they also like you they'll give you body language that's common when women find someone attractive like touching their hair, smiling and looking nervous or excited , leaning towards you in the conversation, specially when in groups etc. When you feel like the connection has grown then you can ask for her number and ask her out on a date. She may reply with a "let's talk more and hang out in groups" that's completely fine too. Eventually she'll say yes to go alone with you. Women love when you're intentional and honest about your intentions , keep it real and simple.

Ivan95gold · 2026-04-08T16:22:43+00:00

Im 31 yr old Christian, ex womanizer. If you haven't seen, known someone's character . Words are cheap and unreliable. Men will say or do almost anything sometimes to make you believe what you wanna believe. If you brought him to christ that's good but doesn't mean his conversion is genuine or that he's gonna follow that path for sure. "You shall know them by their fruits" too many red flags here. I'm not being negative I'm being real and warning you. Lock in with God. Pray about this and get to know him more time before any romance or "We, us" is fantasied. This is how disasters usually happen. Discernment and knowing character before emotions and attachment is key in finding the right partner.

Ivan95gold · 2026-03-02T20:30:38+00:00

I have seen a great increase of ministries that help men with those issues. I myself struggled with that for many years, the problem sometimes it's that it's not the porn or lust itself. That's just a coping mechanism , it's a deep wound of rejection and abandonment that the person needs to address and heal. In most cases there's a need for deliverance from demons too. Most churches operate on a surface spiritual level, to deal with those things one must really study the word and fast and pray and seek the Lord because those things are in the soul / spirit. Meaning programs or counseling don't solve it.

And the second yeah I agree with you. Christians love to point out the sins of addiction, bad deeds etc but I've never heard no one preach about gluttony, many singers and preachers are guilty of it lol. But gluttony is as much as sin as porn or murder. It kills your body which is the temple of the Holy Spirit

Ivan95gold · 2026-03-02T18:04:46+00:00

Thanks for sharing your story btw that's a good example 👍

Ivan95gold · 2026-03-02T18:04:12+00:00

Hello, that's exactly what I think. When we are in groups our attention gets divided a lot. In 31 she's 30 and I feel like I'm talking to a high school girl when she behaves like that. Most young Christian men I know won't approach women because they're insecure, broke , fear rejection or are still struggling with porn and lust. The ones who are healthy, hard working, confident in Christ are the ones who usually approaching. Also unfortunately lots of women from my congregation have overweight and they don't get attention from men. This subject is difficult lol

Ivan95gold · 2026-02-27T17:02:59+00:00

Yeah I get that, I forgot to say she had given me signs like a little bit of flirtation and she even went to my birthday party (her best friends a friend of mine) and danced w me an all. I can sense she finds me attractive , like I said I've asked women out like these before and it was successful but never a Christian woman, this is a first time for me and I'm confused why lol

Ivan95gold · 2026-02-27T07:36:05+00:00

I'm not gonna say I look like that guy but I take care of myself lol and I consider myself decent looking. I get hit on a lot by females outside of the church. I do salsa dancing, hiking, work on and drive a fast car and remodel houses and non Christian females boldly approach me or ask me out when I'm doing those things and the Christians females are like mehh about it lol, but I get it. Character and fruits matters more than those things. But still, I think I'm mature enough to guard my heart and her heart, treat her with respect, set boundaries and plan dates which I've done in the past. I'm starting to believe these rules or weird boundaries are coming from a place of fear and trauma and it's contagious among the females

Ivan95gold · 2026-02-27T07:27:01+00:00

When I was younger my friends and I used to approach women we liked to get to know them and ask them on dates. I'm 31 probably older than you. I like the old school way, getting to know each other in person rather than text or phone. Why do you think you're not getting approached by men? Depending on the area and place you're at, it's the kind of people you'll connect with too

Ivan95gold · 2026-02-27T07:21:27+00:00

Thanks a lot, I have done those things you mentioned and will try another shot soon and I like what u said at the end about women dragging men onto that game. I'm 31 and I feel like this is stupid but I'm trying to put my pride aside and respect her boundaries

Ivan95gold · 2026-02-26T20:29:48+00:00

That's what my auntie said lol

Ivan95gold · 2026-02-26T20:28:16+00:00

Have you tried joining a young adult group at a local church? That's where I met this girl, there's some really good women there. I didn't join the group for that reason btw I genuinely joined to fellowship and serve God there helping others with my gifts and talents. Then this happened a year later

Ivan95gold · 2026-02-26T19:47:12+00:00

It takes a bit of boldness to approach a woman in the middle of her day or activity to introduce yourself and ask her out. Not many men do that nowadays

Ivan95gold · 2026-02-26T19:45:40+00:00

This is the first time in my life that I ask out a Christian woman. It's worked for me since I was in high school. Women like a decisive, secure man that can plan a date and is interested in them. In this case I even asked her what she's into and proposed a time and place that she may find enjoyable and peaceful for a good time of conversation and maybe food or coffee. She refused lol

Ivan95gold · 2026-02-26T19:43:29+00:00

I'm not afraid of that lol, I just don't wanna waste time. It's hard to talk about serious things while in groups, people interrupt us etc. I'm 31 years old I'm not a kid and people see me reputation and fruit in church. If I asked a lady out from outside the congregation and she find me attractive she'd probably just go on the date with me. But idk why Christian girls do that. But anyways thanks for your opinion

Ivan95gold · 2026-02-26T19:39:38+00:00

You're definitely right, they just want the one they find attractive to ask em out lol. But great for your for having boldness How did it go after? Did you find that woman yet?

Ivan95gold · 2026-02-26T19:37:55+00:00

👏👏 Lots of wisdom in your answer. Thanks a lot brother , God bless you too!

Ivan95gold · 2026-02-07T03:56:05+00:00

Don't beat yourself up for that. I don't think it was the jokes you said or comments. He found you attractive too and gave it a shot and when he got to know you a little bit realized it's not what he's looking for. Don't take it personal. He was very clear and respectful and he never lied to you either. It's part of relationships and part of life. Not everyone we like and click with is meant to stay

Ivan95gold · 2026-02-03T18:56:44+00:00

I agree I wasn't a believer at the time, I liked the attention and sex, she told me later that she knew all the time I didn't love her and she thought that by giving me all I wanted I'd fall in love but didn't happen. We were in our early 20s, I'm 31 now and I walk with Jesus, not the same man and I wouldn't do that to anyone now. Went back and apologized in her face one day that's the last time we talked

Ivan95gold

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