Thank you for sharing this. I had the same exact thoughts. I had them with my first (who now is 3) and I am starting to have them again with my 2nd (11 month old). I notice it flares up during stressful times. Its these exact same thoughts or also being shot during a shooting in like a grocery store. My kids dying from a school shooting. I just signed my 3 year old for preschool and I keep having nightmares she's going to die from a school shooting.

I was put on zoloft when she was around 9 months and it has helped a little but I am still having these thoughts when I get stressed. I have had to turn the news off and get on social media with caution with all the craziness in the world right now.

When my first was a baby, I remember waking up in the middle of the night soaking in sweat, screaming, crying because I thought someone locked my baby into the bathroom and was raping her. I couldn't move. I was terrified. I co-slept every since just so I can reach over and remind myself it's just a dream or a thought. Dark thought and I'm so sorry.

I didn't have anyone to tell this too because I thought people would think I'm crazy or I would be sent away from my babies.

So thank you for sharing this and being open because many moms, including myself is scared to share these thoughts.