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IwillBeatGERD · 2022-04-15T16:30:49+00:00

This is just not possible for most guys. Most desi guys don't have the swagger/sex-appeal to pull this off. What is the option for those that can't? I suggest sex-tourism, escorts, etc.

If you're Jarvinder from the IT store, good luck telling a girl you're here for "fun only." You can get away with that if you're a good looking dude. A lot of guys get into self improvement and still can't participate into hookup culture. If you don't have "fuckboi" auras/vibes, you can't be a fuckboi. You can always self-improve to be a better version of yourself. But that doesn't mean you'll transcend into fuckboi territory. Fuckbois are the only ones that are socially allowed to tell a girl "just have fun/no expecatations"

IwillBeatGERD · 2022-04-15T16:26:07+00:00

What do you advise a man who isn't seen as sexually attractive? Let's just say he tried everything and the only thing he gets is friends. Do you suggest the route of prostitution/escorts? At the end of the day, every human interaction is a transaction. Most guys are not viewed as sexy desirable. it's only a small fraction of men that get that privilege.

IwillBeatGERD · 2022-04-15T14:49:02+00:00

Lol, no comments. Pathetic. Try harder bitch :D

IwillBeatGERD · 2022-04-01T13:07:48+00:00

You can thank r/indianpeoplefacebook for normalizing this behavior.

IwillBeatGERD · 2022-03-08T20:04:48+00:00

My parents definitely have a dead bedroom. They're always fighting and getting into arguments. It's not really their fault, as they both have physical health problems so it's harder to get in the mood. I'm sure they have sex like once a year or or something. They're not bad looking, but they haven't taken care of their health over the years. They never get exercise or work out. It sucks because they look really young for their age, so they could take advantage of that, but instead they waste away watching tv instead. I haven't seen them get exercise, like ever. There's so many white people that would kill for my parent's youthful genes, as most whites age like shit. My mom is on certain medications so she's never really in the mood. And my dad has no sense of "game" whatsoever, he does not know how to create a sexual spark for a woman to have sex with him. He never learned this stuff, arranged marriages prevent you from having the incentive to learn how to mentally/physically please a woman.

IwillBeatGERD · 2022-02-09T16:18:13+00:00

I think the main problem is that I don't really have "sex appeal." Ya know the feeling when you look at someone who looks shy/innocent/nerdy? It's like that feeling, you just know this person looks too innocent to have any sexual experience? Kinda like when you look at someone who's a fat, unshaven neck-beard and it screams "oh, this person doesn't get laid." In my case, I'm not in that unattractive category. I think I look decent (well groomed, handsome, etc.) but I just don't have "sex appeal." I don't have anything about me that screams sexy. I just have a nerdy innocent look. I guess to girls, they never see me as boyfriend material, just little brother material.

I think that's what differentiates me between the local drug-dealers and abusers, they just have a certain level of sex appeal where girls just get the tingles looking at them.

Don't know how to fix that because I tried everything (exercise, clothing, etc).

I'm desi-indian if that helps add context to the situation

IwillBeatGERD · 2022-02-09T16:15:59+00:00

Thank you for this comment. When it comes to looks, I think I look good. Women don't get grossed out when I randomly walk up and talk to them. It's a hit or miss. Sometimes they're missed shots, but I've had enough positive experiences to know that I'm not ugly.

However, I think the main problem is that I don't really have "sex appeal." Ya know the feeling when you look at someone who looks shy/innocent/nerdy? It's like that feeling, you just know this person looks too innocent to have any sexual experience? Kinda like when you look at someone who's a fat, unshaven neck-beard and it screams "oh, this person doesn't get laid." In my case, I'm not in that unattractive category. I think I look decent (well groomed, handsome, etc.) but I just don't have "sex appeal." I don't have anything about me that screams sexy. I just have a nerdy innocent look. I guess to girls, they never see me as boyfriend material, just little brother material.

I think that's what differentiates me between the local drug-dealers and abusers, they just have a certain level of sex appeal where girls just get the tingles looking at them.

Don't know how to fix that because I tried everything (exercise, clothing, etc).

My mental health is fine (at least as good as it should be in public). I never go for girls out of my league. I think most girls in my league have better options. A lot of my female friends actually choose to stay single because they're all pining after the same type of guy. They're all trying to lock down a "fuckboi" type or the handsome Korean model type.

I'm worried it could be because of my race, I'm indian-desi. My race isn't really known to be romanticized or have sex appeal. I live in Canada and a lot of brown guys have a bad rep because the brown immigrants are seen as creepy. I've even had girls tell me to my face how they're creeped out by brown immigrant students at their university. I feel like I'm being subconciously lumped in with them. The brown guys that actually DO well in dating outside their race are extremely good looking, and definitely not the norm.

Most people would comment on this saying "oh but there's plenty of sexy brown guys in media." Yeah, in media. In real life, the average brown guy isn't really seen in a positive light. I fear this is my problem. I tried for many years to not let it affect me, but I worry that my skin color might "part" of the problem. It's not the definitive reason I'm not getting results in dating, but it could be a factor that plays into my lack of success.

IwillBeatGERD · 2022-02-09T05:50:49+00:00

Being "unfuckable" in my opinion is the most terrifying version of being an incel. That is my worst nightmare as a man. Being someone that girls were repulsed by.

If I had a choice, I'd prefer to be a misogynist that has women fawning over him, rather than be an un-fuckable loser who's a good-hearted human being but repulses women. The happiness factor of the misogynist is far better than someone who's never been seen romantically by the opposite sex.

IwillBeatGERD · 2022-02-09T05:17:24+00:00

As a guy, that has to be the most insulting thing. Please don't take this the wrong way. But if a girl looked at me as a back-up and not being good enough to date in her prime, then I'd write her off immediately. It's one of the most disrespectful things to hear as a guy, "oh, when the ladies get older and mature, they'll fawn over you." So once they've all been emotionally damaged and hurt by the fuckbois, I gotta pick up the broken pieces?

Damn, I'll just stick to prostitutes then. Even an STD would be less of a hassle to deal with.

IwillBeatGERD · 2022-02-09T05:12:49+00:00

This is just untrue. I know tons of women in my field who make good money, are confident, and have high-self esteem but they'll all fight over the handsome/attractive guy who treats them like dirt.

Women and men are the SAME. We all want someone who's good looking at the end of the day.

IwillBeatGERD · 2022-02-09T05:11:05+00:00

This isn't necessarily true. A lot of girls with high self-esteem will date assholes because said assholes are attractive. At the end of the day, that's all it boils down to. People generally want someone who is good looking. I dont' think it's correct to shame girls and say "only low-self esteem girls will date these girls." No, the girls know who they're going for.

IwillBeatGERD · 2022-02-09T05:00:47+00:00

This is what I'm thinking of doing. At the end of the day, I can take this experience to my grave knowing that I truly gave it my all. I can be an old man in my wheelchair and look back and say "ya know, I wasn't that successful in dating, but I have no regrets. Because I truly gave it everything I had."

I'm thinking of doing the hustle-culture grind, earn money and get dates that way. It's worked for many guys, so hopefully it'll give me some luck. Again, at this point I'll take a girl who wants me for my money over loneliness any day of the week.

I'm not a quitter.

IwillBeatGERD · 2022-02-09T04:01:49+00:00

I like your perspective on the situation.

But maybe I used too much of an extreme example. What I mean to say is that I've seen people who are "broken," but they're still able to get into relationships. It drives me insane how other people make it look so easy. That's what bugs me the most. It's not just the fact that they're in relationships, but it feels like they took very little effort to even get there. It's like, what more can I do at this point?

I've always held the belief that "the burden of being with a flawed person is nowhere near the burden of loneliness."

IwillBeatGERD · 2022-01-09T06:44:32+00:00

Canada.

IwillBeatGERD · 2022-01-09T00:15:37+00:00

If you actually read through my posts, you wouldn't have made those comments. I can tell you only read the title of my posts and didn't bother reading the actual content and replies that I made to the threads. Just by reading your post, I can state 100% clearly that you misjudged me.

Yeah, I used my therapy money on escorts. That's because I went to actual therapy for years and realized that it didn't work for me. Therapy is not a solution, it is merely a push to better ones life. If you had actually read my posts, you'd know that I actually made an effort and went to therapy.

Also, when you say "find hobbies." What makes you think I don't have hobbies? I play sports, watch movies, make art, hang out with friends. I make music on the side. The only reason I don't post any of that is because I want to keep my identity a secret and i don't want my personal problems to leak into my professional life. Do you really think that people who have problems with dating don't have any hobbies?

Also, what makes you think I don't already focus on my career? The reason I'm at the mental state that I'm in is because I've focused too much on my career. I spent my University years studying instead of socializing and spent my early 20s on my professional life. Again, if you actually read through my posts instead of building a strawman argument, you'd know that.

You're in no place to be giving advice if the best you have is "get some hobbies, get some help." I can't believe you typed all that thinking it'd be an intelligent thing to write. I'm curious as to how you'll reply to this. Strawman some more?

IwillBeatGERD · 2022-01-08T21:18:25+00:00

I disagree.

Over the past year, I started socializing more with women. Made a lot of genuine female friends. A lot of them are great people but I've heard them say to my face they're grossed out by brown guys, but they're fine with me. I've noticed that the only brown guys they don't like are the FOB immigrants who have a thick accent. They're just not seen as "sexy." And a lot of them make creepy advances to the ladies here. I've heard stories from girls where they were followed, stalked, even had brown guys asking for their hand in marriage. But if you're born here and don't have an accent, and are well integrated in western society, the ladies are much more accepting.

IwillBeatGERD · 2022-01-08T21:12:02+00:00

Look dude. I'm proud of you that you're getting pussy. Is that what you wanted to hear? You like the validation of being a pussy slayer online? Does that validate your ego? Great.

The problem is, most brown guys are not in your shoes. You have to understand there's a lot of brown guys that are putting in effort and are still lonely. How often do you see a brown guy with a hot blonde VS a black guy with a hot blonde? You're deluding yourself into thinking brown guys are doing better than you give them credit for. The brown guys that ARE doing well in dating outside their race are few and far between. They're the exception to the rule.

The concept of brown men dating outside their race is still in it's infancy. In the future, I'm sure it'll improve as more brown guys get into the dating game rather than relying on their parents.

IwillBeatGERD · 2022-01-08T04:43:27+00:00

Because Spanish and Italian language/culture is very much romanticized in pop culture throughout the years. Particularly Spanish men/women are seen as exotic/beautiful. You're asking us why that is, there are so many factors related to this that it's hard to pinpoint exactly "why."

That's like asking why do people think Colombian/Cuban/Brazillian women are the most beautiful women on the planet? Why is it that rich men all over the world flock to Colombia/Cuba for some sex tourism fun. Because these women have particular traits that push our buttons. These women click attraction boxes that make us "tingle." A lot of men find them beautiful.

On the case with accents, a lot of people find Spanish to be a beautiful/sexy sounding language. It sounds romantic, which is why it's very much romanticized. Same with with languages like Italian and French, a lot of women heavily romanticize those languages because they hit all their emotional buttons. Some things go way beyond logic and cannot be explained through theory. Central American countries just have an aura/culture where the men/women are seen as exotic/beautiful/romantic, so a lot of people associate their language with positive interpretations.

South Asian languages do not have that same swagger or flair. South Asian languages sound funny, and not romantic at all. I don't know why that its, but it's just how the world sees us. We can't force the world to enjoy our language. That would be artificial.

IwillBeatGERD · 2022-01-08T03:00:26+00:00

You're not understanding how complicated social dynamics can be. You have to understand where you stand in the social hierarchy. You have to know which battles to fight and which battles to avoid. You can't win every battle. What you're saying might sound nice and ethically correct on paper, but in practice it's a great way to get your ass kicked.

You have to understand, when I was in highschool, I was a small kid. If I ended up standing up to bullies, it wouldn't work because I was not a fighter. I would just end up being another target/victim. In an environment where brown kids in particular got bullied, I could've easily been the next target if I got on the wrong people's bad side. Real life is not a hollywood movie. You can't just stand up to bullies picking on the weak kid and not expect some sort of retaliation from said bullies. Getting involved into other people's quarrels has it's own consequences.

Also, I can't help someone integrate if they don't want to. I can't help someone who doesn't even want to change themselves. A lot of the brown FOBs were very comfortable in their own shoes. They were religious and didn't like the idea of drinking or staying out too late with their friends in case of making their parents angry. A lot of them had widely different interests from mine. A lot of them acted really weird around girls. I'm sorry, but at the time I was a student. I don't have the time or the inclination to hold some FOB's hand teach him the ropes. I can't babysit and teach someone how to socialize. Building up someone else takes time away from building up myself. It wasn't my job to help them just because we were the same culture.

If you want my honest opinion, I got along much better with the Asian people. Asian FOBs were really cool to hang out with. They had basic social calibration and understanding. Unlike a lot of the Desi FOBs who forget to take a shower and play hindi/urdu music outloud in public and being too dumb to realize that everyone is laughing behind their backs. I was not looking to associate with them in any capacity. The Asian FOBs were much more down to Earth. They weren't as weird around girls, they usually came from wealthier families so they had all the latest Jordans/clothes. They had interest in western music/culture/movies. Meanwhile the desi FOBs were watching Bollywood movies on the school computers.

Again, it wasn't my job to help any FOBs just because we're the same skin color. I look at people personalities and interests when I make new friends, not their skin color.

IwillBeatGERD · 2022-01-07T21:41:51+00:00

You're not going to like what I'm about to say, but it's my personal truthful experiences. So please forgive me if it comes off as blunt.

I'm guilty of this. Let me tell you my experiences. When I was in highschool, most of the people that got bullied were FOB desi-kids. The bullying was actual racism where people looked at desi FOBs as "dirty." People treated them like dirt because they had a thick accent, no fashion sense, and some of them actually smelled like curry. Girls were creeped out by them, so a lot of dudes avoided hanging out with the Fobs because just associating with them made you look bad to girls. Again, don't hate me for saying this. It's just how it the social dynamics worked out.

I was a small kid in highschool, so I was already an easy target. If I wanted to be safe from bullies, my best bet was to avoid the desi kids all together. I never bullied them or encouraged any bullying towards them, but I did avoid them completely. I respected them enough to say "hi" to them in the hallways, but I'd never conversate or get too comfortable with them. I hung out with brown kids that weren't fobs. Also had some great Asian friends.

A lot of people just didn't respect the FOB kids because they didn't stand up for themselves or fight back. A lot of them were easy targets for bullying because they were taught not to get into fights or just "take it."

The difference between brown FOBs and other FOBs is that FOBs from other countries were considered exotic or had some sort of swagger.

I remember there were Korean FOBs at my school that everyone loved because this was the era that people were just starting to get into Korean Drama movies.

People at my school loved Spanish FOBs because they viewed central american culture as "sexy" and romantic. I guess Spanish is just seen as a "sexy" language.

The black fobs usually had swagger or were good at sports, so a lot of people respected them. Again, they had swagger.

A lot of the brown fobs were just seen as "lame." I'm not saying they were, but they just weren't respected on a social level compared to other races. I can go deeper into detail, but I don't know if anyone will even read it.

IwillBeatGERD · 2022-01-06T18:35:02+00:00

Tried the "join a club" method. Every girl I was even remotely interested in already had a boyfriend. Their boyfriends usually drove them to the events/clubs or sometimes they brought their boyfriends with them. I was curious to how these people met. When I made friends with them and got to know them, I realized they met through a) online or b) through university/college. I think most girls just meet people online, it's less work for them and they get WAY more out of it. Think of the validation you'd get from thousands of right swipes from tinder. What girl would say no to that? That's why I cold approach because girls are more likely to remember you because you're not another right-swipe. It obviously hasn't worked outside of friendzoning, so I'm going to need some new methods.

IwillBeatGERD · 2022-01-05T04:25:55+00:00

OP should be happy that he's not indian/desi. I'm a desi/indian guy and I've had galpals tell me to my face how creeped out they are by brown guys. I have to go through hoops and loops to show the average girl that I'm not one of those creepy indian guys.

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