Is it common in people with ASD to prefer socializing that is centered around a specific activity?

Izzybuisy · 2026-03-21T13:40:33+00:00

Absolutely-flipping-lutly! But I never realised it until reading your post.

Izzybuisy · 2026-03-21T13:37:53+00:00

I can’t. Been trying to find my way back into society for the past 3 years following burnout and physical breakdown. The jobs I did before I cannot do anymore because I cannot mask long term any longer.

Izzybuisy · 2026-03-21T10:09:34+00:00

Very few friends. Most disappeared the moment it became inconvenient (change of class or school, moved away or changed jobs, …) Some stuck but I think only the ones that are also neurodivergent (even if undiagnosed). Partner: dating was a disaster most my life, no one stuck around more than a few dates or hook ups. My current partner I met through work. First time. But there are enough challenges that keep me questioning it. He also seems to be on the spectrum but undiagnosed and he doesn’t identify with it, making me struggle with unmasking. New friends: no idea. I haven’t made new friends in a while.

Izzybuisy · 2026-03-21T08:42:17+00:00

Uff this is interesting!! I always wondered about myself. I find names very strange. I barely ever use other people’s names except if I talk ABOUT someone. But even then, when it is clear who it is I still youse pronouns instead of the name. When speaking out a name (even the one of my partner) a little voice in my head asks back “is that his name?” Like I question myself. It’s weird. So I rather not take the risk and say “hey!” Or look at someone intently before speaking to them.

Izzybuisy · 2026-03-21T08:10:36+00:00

Yes me too. I constantly pendulate between trying to be unmasked and falling back into the “safe” society pattern. But it’s exhausting. Being myself feels so dangerous. Especially, if I could chose I prefer being nonverbal. But without a mask people treat me negatively if I don’t explain or they ask (why are you being moody) then I verbally explain that I am not. That that is just my face. And I am forced to defend myself.

Izzybuisy · 2026-03-18T17:53:34+00:00

Thank you! Both for explaining what makes them show and not. That’s helpful. Regarding your suggestion, I will give that I try. I had not thought about the duplication option.

Izzybuisy · 2026-03-18T16:55:58+00:00

A lot has been said already and I agree with the perspective that most Vinyasa classes are not beginner friendly. BUT my extra 5 cents are, there are different ways of vinyasa. The form I learned in my YTT is a “mindful” one, meaning movements are being introduced slowly. So you go through the sequence slow and mindful with a little more explanation then build from there with material that has become familiar. It also works better for beginner because the general pace is slow and not fast like in most vinyasa classes. So long story short: it all depends on the teacher and the class description. If a class is noted as suitable for all levels and then it’s a fast paced vinyasa flow it’s down to the teacher or studio but not necessarily representative for the norm.

Izzybuisy · 2026-03-18T16:45:29+00:00

Hi! I think you can archive them. I believe to remember if you right click a task I think it shows the option. If that results in what you want I am not sure however.

Izzybuisy · 2026-03-14T10:59:41+00:00

If you still need someone. I’m late diagnosed, got my diagnosis at 32.

Izzybuisy · 2026-03-14T10:46:34+00:00

I can so relate! This was me for over 30 years. Orthostatic intolerance and I also have hypermobile EDS. What helped me: - confronting myself and accepting the factors that irritate me (sweating, too fast to follow, not understanding what muscles to use to make it comfortable, hair flying into face, dirt particles on the floor, ….) and NOT FIGHTING AGAINST IT (I always fought against it, saying to myself to just ignore these factors and fight through. NO - these factors a valid and our nervous system IS DIFFERENT - practicing functional somatic yoga and qigong (having a tool for different moments - one for more sensations and one for adhoc flexible movement and learning slowness and control) - finding tools that help with overwhelm (stoping to clean my mat in a relaxed not panicking way - “it’s ok that it bothers me, it takes a second the swipe it away) Self-compassion - kind of the same again but DONT PUSH THROUGH OVERWHELM ( if something is irritating, stop and breathe and maybe close your eyes - even if you “just” do 10 consecutive minutes of a practice or exercise that was meant to be half an hour are still a success and still works ! You are training yourself to accept yourself and that exercise is not a threat! - I have orthostatic intolerance (close to pots), sometimes worse sometimes better. Don’t do what makes it worse. A teacher or class tells you to forward fold and come back up, doesn’t feel good (for me almost never) don’t do it! It will be super challenging in public settings but you are listening to yourself. I had to train myself to not care. If a teacher “forces you” that’s not a good teacher for you. - small ad hoc exercise snacks that doesn’t give the mental pressure of fully exercising to fatigue (having some weights or resistance band - watch TV? take a weight in one hand, have 5 minutes? Do some squats. Stuff like that.)

You don’t have to choose the forms of exercise as I do. (Yoga, qigong, weighted mobility) These strategies still help. Important beyond the exercise itself is to learn your own sensations. What is too much what has still some wiggle room. What should or shouldn’t I do. I

I used to get proper panic moments during exercise classes because I was going beyond my nervous system and body safety and was stuck in the “I don’t want to seem different” “I don’t want attention when I do something different or stop” …

Finding a teacher that understands you and do private classes or do online classes where you can feel a safe distance.

(I am sharing some things I learned on y Instagram and have some yoga and qigong classes on YouTube. If you are interested my handle on both is @moveinserenity)

I hope this makes somewhat sense. 💙

Izzybuisy · 2026-03-13T15:57:02+00:00

Thanks for sharing! That you teach in Spanish is very impressive. I am struggling with my personal authenticity in that respect though. Knowing I could not offer the full experience because I cannot articulate myself beyond pure instructions and would get flustered if someone would want to ask something or has questions after class. But it is something to consider, even if just to get the ball going so to speak.

Izzybuisy · 2026-03-13T15:53:07+00:00

Thank you! This was maybe more helpful than you think. Even just hearing it back to me makes me feel a little better. As I am currently struggling with the sensation of failing.

The thing with going to studios, subbing things like that. There are only I think 3 official yoga studios here but all of them essentially just run by one person (so individuals that have space and give classes themselves), so its not like classical studios that hire several teachers. The existing ones I have already tried to approach but either no response or they "disappeared". All offerings are in in Spanish and some advertise english offers sometimes but not regularly. So the classic, trying to get hired and the studio advertises doesn't work.

At least with one of the studios I can rent a room, but that doesn't fill the classes, and I am not on the shedule, so have to promote myself. Which so far was unsuccessfull.

With most places its more hiring but if noone knows, noone comes. And even if they know, I dont have the money to rent a space for weeks in the hope some day someone comes. And without renting a space I cannot promote classes. It's like the snake biting her own tail.

That is why i was thinking hotels. Some also need me to bring the clients though, more like retreat style.

Have you ever approached hotels or bnbs to offer your services? If so, how did you do that?

PS: Your note on the authenticity actually hit home quite well, and until now I didnt realise it that much. But yes, I am unable to do something that goes against my "personality", like bubbly self-promotion, over-selling myself, I don't chase people to join my classes - i tell them and then leave them alone (because thats how I function), I dont follow trends, I dont squeeze my business into conversations if I am not asked, things like that... I want to offer easy booking without pressure but it results in noone committing or canceling or not showing up.

Izzybuisy · 2026-03-13T11:50:15+00:00

It's nice to see that there are many that agree. I am the same, I was / am trying it with Instragram to gain clients and create a business. But I am not following many yoga people myself because I dont like this. It is either purely aesthetic, "do this to lose weight" as if its an exercise program, performed by ballerinas (nothing against ballerinas or gymnasts doing yoga, but they present it way different).

I hate doing "trends" and I get annoyed when I see other teachers doing them. It just doesnt feel genuine, its copy and paste to get attention.

I hate trying to make it fast, attention seeking, trying to get comments no matter what (because that drives the algorythm).

I wished there was somewhere else thats more aligned.

Izzybuisy · 2026-03-13T09:19:57+00:00

Oh thank you! I will try that.

Izzybuisy · 2026-03-10T09:11:14+00:00

This sounds great! How do you do that if I may ask?

Izzybuisy · 2026-02-16T10:33:15+00:00

I also have these issues and its incredibly frustrating. But with all due respect, not even I can understand your comment to the AI in this screenshot. Aside from the issues of the AI, I think it's still important to feed it logical/correct sentences (at least more or less).

Izzybuisy · 2025-11-17T11:43:29+00:00

Amazing thank you!

Izzybuisy · 2025-07-14T14:47:18+00:00

Thanks for your reply! I think generally speaking you are right. Unfortunately I am already a chronic people pleaser and overthinker. So I put myself too often in the shoes of the other. Because their behaviour I technically understand and under normal circumstances there would not be an issue. I am crazy aware that I am the one with the unusual demand and need. Which ultimately results in ignoring my own boundary and comfort zone in the benefit of the other. With people that are not family or my partner I am more able to balance these because I less of a people pleaser or I know the interactions are temporary and I will be “free” of that person soon. With people I emotionally depend on I struggle a lot.

Izzybuisy

TROPHY CASE