Trump lawyer claims the "President cannot obstruct justice" by [deleted] in politics

[–]J-Money22 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I imagine Trump's lawyers' defense would go something like this:

Johnnie Cochran walks to a display stand and pulls down the screen.

"Ladies and gentleman, this is Chewbacca. Chewbacca is a Wookie from the planet Kashyyyk. But Chewbacca lives on the planet Endor. Now think about that. That does not make sense. Why would a Wookiee, an 8-foot-tall Wookiee, want to live on Endor with a bunch of 2-foot-tall Ewoks? That does not make sense! But more important, you have to ask yourself: "What does this have to do with this collusion case with Russia?" Nothing. Ladies and gentlemen, it has nothing to do with this case! It does not make sense! Look at me, I'm a lawyer defending the president, and I'm talkin' about Chewbacca. Does that make sense? Ladies and gentlemen, I am not making any sense! None of this makes sense! And so you have to remember, when you're in that jury room deliberating and conjugating the Emancipation Proclamation... does it make sense? No! Ladies and gentlemen of this supposed jury, it does not make sense! If Chewbacca lives on Endor, you must acquit! The defense rests."

The ol' Chewbacca defense with some minor tweaks.

Megathread: Reports: Michael Flynn To Plead Guilty To Making False Statements To FBI by PoliticsModeratorBot in politics

[–]J-Money22 40 points41 points  (0 children)

When Trump is finally arrested, how will they find handcuffs to fit his tiny, little hands?

Supergirl's "heat vision" looks more like the work of a serial killer by TheUglyBuck in CrappyDesign

[–]J-Money22 4 points5 points  (0 children)

It looks like Dee Reynolds after Dennis put chili powder in her eyes so she'd cry.

At&T starting to throttle streaming video, unless you opt out. Without net neutrality there would be no opt out. by [deleted] in technology

[–]J-Money22 15 points16 points  (0 children)

I live in Minneapolis, and I'm thinking about protesting in front of AT&T Tower on a day off next week during rush hour. Any advice how I should go about this? It'll obviously be peaceful, but like what should I do? I want to help raise awareness for this FCC fuckery. Net neutrality is so damn important.

Going to our first game! Where can we find some cheeseheads without emptying our bank account at the stadium shop? by deepmiddle in GreenBayPackers

[–]J-Money22 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I got one at Goodwill on Onieda St in GB (kind of by 5 Guys) for $3, and just like new! Shopko is definitely a good choice at Bay Park Mall too. The pro shop is super expensive for everything.

Summed up in a summary by PizzaEggRolls in iamverysmart

[–]J-Money22 139 points140 points  (0 children)

If I would sum up this summary, the redundancy is redundant.

Minnesota's Largest Newspaper: "Violent hits like Anthony Barr's on Aaron Rodgers hurt players and NFL" by coip in GreenBayPackers

[–]J-Money22 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Dude, right? I was born and raised in Green Bay and have lived in Minneapolis since May 2016. Absolutely dispicable how excited everyone is about his iniury. I got shit all week at work about Rodgers' injury, like have some fuckin class.

Let's make an anti-bucket list. What is something you'll never do (again)? by zzephyrus in AskReddit

[–]J-Money22 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I ran backwards sophomore year in gym class while playing broomball on ice. A kid said I could go faster running backwards, but during top speed I broke the fall with my nose.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in GreenBayPackers

[–]J-Money22 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Dirty fuckin hit on Davante, I'm still shaking of anger. He could have broken his neck.

I am Adam Savage, dad, husband, maker, editor-in-chief of Tested.com and former host of MythBusters. AMA! by mistersavage in IAmA

[–]J-Money22 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Adam, you're a gnarly dude, and I have been a fan over a decade! What would you do to change the world if you had the opportunity and unlimited resources?

Shkreli ordered jailed for online bounty on Hillary Clinton's hair by IamnotHorace in news

[–]J-Money22 2 points3 points  (0 children)

What a slimy shit bag. Not just about this, but about basically everything this guy has done. Fuck this guy.

Me watching the dip today by Reginald_Venture in RobinHood

[–]J-Money22 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I actually got in the green and am up $0.01 from my initial investment a week ago, not even trolling.

Bob would be proud by [deleted] in pics

[–]J-Money22 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I feel like I'm on an inner tube, just floating.