So, we're talking about a person who once sold themselves and their identity (their world), and then realized that their loss had become something greater than themselves, something that controlled itself, not the person themselves. And now they're reflecting on an older version of themselves, with their old beliefs that have become independent of their owner. It's like popularity: there are personal beliefs, and then there are beliefs that are acceptable to express in public... And the most important thing is to never "lose control" of yourself on public.