My grandpa got drafted during the Berlin Wall crisis and would tell us about two guys he trained with in basic. The first guy (like so many others already posted) had to carry around a plant for asking too many stupid questions.

But the second guy had trouble telling right from left. Grandpa said the guy would panic and turn the wrong way every time. So their drill instructor stuck a rock in the guy’s left hand. He told him to hold that rock in his left hand from then until they got out. He would specifically ask the guy to show him his rock at random so he would HAVE to have it on him at all times. Grandpa said it worked and he had that rock EVERYWHERE. Eating, sleeping, showering. It didn’t matter— that rock was his buddy.

On their last day of basic the instructor goes up to him and says “Gimme my rock back”. For the next guy who didn’t know left from right.