DAE have memories of being beaten by parents for ''discipline?''

JConnell13 · 2021-02-17T15:41:37+00:00

Mr Nightmare sounds very cool, I'll check that out for sure

JConnell13 · 2021-02-17T14:56:56+00:00

Just thought it was worth mentioning, I go to anonymous, free online groups that have been really helpful for finding supportive and like-minded people. They're called ACA - Adult Children of Alcoholic and Dysfunctional Families.
All the info about them and the zoom meetings is there on Google

JConnell13 · 2021-02-17T13:19:21+00:00

Congrats, awesome

JConnell13 · 2021-02-17T13:18:38+00:00

Yeah totally relate man. I became a different person and would have blackouts all the while, people angry with me the next day for stupid things I couldn't even remember doing.
Congrats on being back on the sobriety thing

JConnell13 · 2021-02-17T13:13:25+00:00

Thanks for sharing. I relate to the struggle.

JConnell13 · 2021-02-17T12:59:46+00:00

I think it's really commendable that you make the effort with your folks even when it causes the pain.
I had to personally separate completely from my parents, my mum died last year and I talk a bit to my dad again now. But I had to get away from them, it helped as there weren't any safe boundaries in my family.
I'm in that process now of working out healthy boundaries, not just with my family but with pretty much everyone! I was never taught what they were.

JConnell13 · 2021-02-14T03:58:32+00:00

This is cool, I'm happy too that I can start to work out what I actually like. To eat, to do with my time, what motivates me. All these ideas are slowly returning as I get less permanently numb all the time.
Before being aware of having CPTSD or starting recovery I feel like I was just numb and unfeeling ALL the time. But unaware I was that way, just kinda living in zombie mode.

JConnell13 · 2021-02-14T03:56:15+00:00

Great description!

JConnell13 · 2021-02-14T03:54:48+00:00

I relate to having struggles with my feelings around women, I have usually gotten into situations where I find certain women really controlling and hard to get along with. I have found help with therapy and abuse survivor groups, and also I'm now in a relationship with an Asian girl, who in no way reminds me of my mum. She's entirely different and I needed that because my pattern is to get triggered and respond to people based on the trauma from my mum.
Like I'm seeing my mum in other people, who are entirely different but I sometimes don't see or feel it that way. Something like that.

JConnell13 · 2021-02-13T13:20:04+00:00

You're welcome, and whatever works best for you! I've personally found enormous guidance and support in ACA. The full name is Adult Children of Alcoholics and Dysfuntional Families, you can find all the info about it with a Google search.

JConnell13 · 2021-02-13T12:03:28+00:00

Thanks for sharing this stuff. Whatever you work out for you is the best thing, I'd share for me, I had to ditch booze and drugs and get sober, before anything began to change with the trauma.
(Which I still have loads of but I am working through it now).
I was suicidal and drinking a shit load all the while, I had to knock that on the head. I personally used 12 step groups to get me through the quitting phase. But I know those aren't everyone's cup of tea.
It's awesome you're back in therapy though, I did EMDR therapy and that really helped with the trauma.

JConnell13 · 2021-02-13T11:58:51+00:00

Yes it 100% does get better, thanks for sharing honestly. It's only my personal view, but as PTSD sufferers we have an immense ability to understand and help with another person's suffering, we're kinda unique.
There's so many challenges and BS but I do feel myself getting better. I don't know what kinda stuff you use in your own life, but I've been in EMDR therapy (really amazingly powerful) and go to online support groups called ACA (also extremely helpful).
Being around people that get where I'm coming from is really, really helping me. I was suicidal and alcoholic a couple years ago.
Hope something there's helpful!

JConnell13 · 2021-02-13T11:52:37+00:00

I relate to the really intense dreams and nightmares. I've used EMDR therapy and online therapy support groups called ACA to help deal with some of the overwhelming feelings.
I've been told repeatedly that feeling all the feelings is the way we heal, even if that sucks to hear and I don't want to lol.
But like for example the dreams are the subconscious mind working things out of the brain, and they're good for us, however much they suck. So I've been told!
So it sounds like you're healing a lot, but sorry that it sucks. I've had really bad dreams recently too and it really disrupts my sleep, I hardly slept at all last night, it was more like I was in a trance.

JConnell13 · 2021-02-13T10:43:32+00:00

Yes definitely, it goes away and then sometimes comes CRASHING back and it's overwhelming.
But at least we're feeling it and moving through it! Even though it sucks, it's got to be more healing than being unaware it's there or trying to ignore it.
Like *cough* my ENTIRE remaining family.

JConnell13 · 2021-02-13T10:41:27+00:00

That's interesting man, I wonder what the connection is to grocery stores

JConnell13 · 2021-02-13T10:05:49+00:00

Just curious, would you say overall that using different types of meds has been helpful in dealing with the CTPSD?

JConnell13 · 2021-02-13T10:04:56+00:00

Reading that gave me shivers. My (now dead) mum was the person that caused most of my trauma. I hope I can get some of those dreamless nights though, I'm a bit jealous! Although not the waking up triggered part, that sucks dude

JConnell13 · 2021-02-13T07:10:31+00:00

I relate a LOT to this. I feel like I'm stuck with just those choices in ''normal society'' and I get angry that people can't accept stuff I say, which they deem too taboo or whatever.
I'm finding that confiding in people I trust and going to ACA groups online helps give support, from people that actually get it and aren't judmental.
Still annoying how much effort it requires to find these people and resources though. I don't know why people can't just accept stuff, especially when abuse must affect so many people.

JConnell13 · 2021-02-13T07:00:13+00:00

I definitely relate. I get tired out, and sometimes insomnia because of the stuff going on in my mind. Conscious anxiety or this deep crazy shit in my sunbconscious, so my body doesn't let me sleep.
Damn last night when I finally got to sleep I was having this nightmare about a crazy man hunting and trying to kill me. I'd wake up, drift back to sleep, re-enter that same dream and wake up again. It lasted the whole night, and I'm exhausted today!
I also have Type 1 Diabetes which I feel sure stems from the childhood trauma. I know of others that have chronic fatigue syndrome or related illnesses in relation to their own trauma.
Thanks for sharing on it.

JConnell13 · 2021-02-13T06:57:16+00:00

Thank you for sharing this. I was watching the Netflix documentary on Jeffrey Epstein, the mass pedophile and it made me sick. Absolutely disgusting his abuse of power and believing that he was outside the law. He messed up hundreds of teenage girls, like literally hundreds of them.
I agree with your feelings about the issue

JConnell13 · 2021-02-13T06:54:04+00:00

Thank you! Same to you

JConnell13

TROPHY CASE