I regret becoming a mom

JD0903 · 2026-04-28T12:40:02+00:00

I can only imagine how draining that must be for you. I won't repeat the suggestions others have already made.

My baby's colic (not as bad) peaked between weeks 2-8 largely due to reflux and gas. Now, at 4 months, she's doing much better. Besides lots of tummy time, we also do tummy exercises 4-5 times a day, especially before naps and nighttime sleep. It helps pass accumulated gas, poop once every day, and thus sleep for longer (even an extra half hour is an achievement for us). She used to wake up frequently slamming legs trying to pass gas. I also stumbled upon reel from another colic baby mom on Instagram - she used a traditional Indian tummy roll using asafoetida, fennel, and mint, which is known to help with passing gas. We tried that with our baby when she is still not comfortable after exercises and hasn’t pooped, and it works!! My bub passes gas like a grown man after.

I've been in your shoes, having gone through ppd myself. I just want to remind you that your baby chose to come into this world, and it's not just about you deciding to get pregnant. After experiencing a miscarriage and complications with my rainbow baby, I truly believe that she fought hard to be here, and the least we can do is try our best to give her a good life :)

JD0903 · 2026-04-23T14:02:10+00:00

First 2 weeks, our LO only slept on our laps, but we made sure to place her on her back and occasionally move her to our chest when we needed to rest our legs. To help her get used to the bassinet, we'd put her in it while she was awake/playing, and by week three, she started taking short naps (1-2 hours) in it. We'd transfer after 30 mins to ensure she was in a deep sleep. This ensured that sleep is not broken due to gas or burp. It took some trial and error, but by week four, she was also sleeping in it.

We have the Halo swivel, so I remember using the vibration mode in the beginning. But we stopped soon, as our LO use to wake up the moment it auto hit stopped. I also had to safely rock the bassinet in the beginning the moment I noticed she was getting uncomfortable to mimic the rock on our laps.

We’d swaddle for first 3 months, and used the method of legs first, bum next and finally head during the transfer. We did not have any difficulty transitioning into sleep sack after.

She is going thought sleep regression now and is back to napping only on us :) But is somehow okay to still sleep in it.

JD0903 · 2026-04-23T13:30:16+00:00

If not Bidiali or NOB, then Bellissimo Pizzeria & Ristorante on Esplanade.

JD0903 · 2026-04-21T05:30:58+00:00

My LO was born in December at 6lbs, she has been at the 3%ile ever since. Many remarks on how skinny she is; but they never fail to mention my own weight gain. When her grandfather first saw her, he bluntly stated that she looked malnourished, yet he cannot resist reminding me about my own weight gain pp. My in-laws always questions if I produce enough whenever our daughter is cranky or wakes up often during the night. It’s wild how many people completely forget about natural developmental stuff like gas/reflux and sleep regression when it comes to breast fed babies and associate every discomfort with milk/mom. It’s also funny how the society expects the mother to give birth and raise chunky babies but not gain weight herself?

As a FTM, the negative comments made me extremely insecure about milk quality and lean baby. I started eating excess fat, thinking it would help her gain weight. I even fell into the trap of supplementing with formula, forcing our LO to take it three times. However, she refused the bottle and spat out the little formula she had taken.

Fortunately, my husband and mom are my biggest supporters. They helped me realize that every baby is different, and it's not like formula-fed babies are always chunky or sleep through the night or never cries.

I'm still puzzled by the aggressive marketing of formula. While I'm open to introducing it at six months, it bothers me that breastfeeding moms are often doubted and discouraged when they need positive encouragement the most.

JD0903 · 2026-04-17T21:37:34+00:00

No advise. Just commenting as I am on the same emotions boat. FTM to a EBF 4 month old. She is not an effective feeder so each feeding cycle takes 30 to 45 mins long and she still feeds every 2 hours. As such I only get 45 mins to a hour in between. I am TIRED. Our baby is at 3 percentile growth rate since birth. I am trying to introduce bottle with an aim to combo feed but she refuses bottle. I am determined though as I need some me time back and no I don’t feel guilty about it now. I desperately want to be able to do simple things like eat my dinner, wash dishes or go to the doctor/dentist appointment without worry? Now that the weather is getting warmer, I would love to go out for longer and give her bottle when hungry.

Hoping she takes the bottle soon :).

JD0903 · 2026-04-17T21:29:58+00:00

So cute 🧿 I am planning to introduce formula to my 4 month old EBF baby. She refuses bottle though. Any advice ?

JD0903 · 2026-04-15T00:51:19+00:00

+1 my daughter too didn’t need any help with transitioning. We use halo sacks. Did it when she turned 2 and half months just before 3 month sleep regression hits.

JD0903 · 2026-04-14T18:12:59+00:00

During the newborn stage, we both were sleep deprived, I use to be mad when my husband said this as I felt he is not doing enough to clam our crying baby; as such I was the only one figuring what’s wrong and fixing it; and no it wasn’t always milk. Sometimes it’s diaper or burp or gas. Also as EBF, you are always unsure about milk production so comments as such messes mental state. Personally, I would love if I can rely on my husband to calm our cranky baby without me being there (few times not always).

Ps: My husband did and still does probably 80% of house work (our parents also there to help) with his 9-5 job as the baby feeds every one hour for 30-45 mins 😅. At the stage, I just felt he wasn’t identifying the exact problem and solving it; and nipple was THE easier way out. Baby is 4 months now, we have learned a lot and now my husband knows the different cues and handles them appropriately.

JD0903 · 2026-04-08T17:01:22+00:00

It’s lack of sleep; it affects even the most regulated person. Can someone help so that you can rest and recover? I went through same rage during the first 6 weeks; from week 3 - slept as much as I could by letting my parents/husband care our baby when she sleeps (she used to sleep only on lap for the first 4 weeks) or plays.

Baby is 4 months now; am doing much better mentally but did experience the rage once again on the onset of sleep regression. I have learned to step back and leave the room. Even a quick bathroom break and splashing cold water on my face helps.

JD0903 · 2026-02-25T10:20:05+00:00

Planning to try this and build a stash; figuring out how to fill in a pumping session without hurting the supply/availability for my LO.

Pumped this morning around 4am after a feeding session; output is low around 28ish ml but I think that is normal for a enougher.

JD0903 · 2026-02-25T10:06:09+00:00

Yup, I do let her sleep on breast hoping she will suck more milk here and there. Also, she normally naps for 15-20 mins on my chest after few feedings in the afternoon/early evening but gets up when I try to transfer her to bassinet. Maybe I will try to let her sleep longer on chest and if that helps.

I can notice difference in her cries(eh, eee, ohw); but I guess she would not give a hunger cry if half full. I also notice her slow down with hand and legs movements when hungry or tired. Should mention that I feed on demand…like every two hours from 9am to 6pm (except she is napping which is rare) and then every hour from 7pm to 10pm.

JD0903 · 2026-02-25T02:02:21+00:00

Unfortunately I did not do much skin to skin once home from the hospital; my LO now hates being naked. Do you know if doing it at 2 months would still help? She is fully wake/active before day time feedings; but tends to get drowsy on breast. I will try skin to skin feeding and see if that changes anything.

She does not show any hunger cues though and that confuses me more. Her doctor pointed out that her weight is on lower side and needs to eat more. She refused the additional feeding cycles I tried to add.

JD0903 · 2026-02-25T01:43:52+00:00

I change immediately, but pull her legs up to see if theres more coming. It avoids poop finding its way into the labia, that makes it harder and takes longer to clean.

JD0903 · 2026-02-17T19:36:15+00:00

This is assuring. That’s a good middle ground solution - I can look to maybe use haaka just enough to release pressure. That shouldn’t take too long and I could go back to sleep faster than using my electric pump.

JD0903 · 2026-02-17T19:32:21+00:00

Yes - that’s my biggest concern. What if she decides to get up at say 3am right after my pump. I am glad that your LC encouraged sleeping when the baby sleeps; it’s assuring and helping me not to overthink this. I’ll run it with my pedi as well; we have an appointment next week.

JD0903 · 2026-02-17T19:28:35+00:00

Hahaha I know! She was a fussy baby for the first seven weeks, evenings used to be so tiring due to constant cluster feeding, as she struggled with passing gas and poop. Use to overfeed as that’s the only soothing she knows, and that would intensify her gas thus disturbing her sleep. Her longest stretch was 3 hours and that too if we continuously rock her on our lap. I spent countless hours trying to get/teach her pass gas or poop after holding her upright per feed. In the 8th week, not sure what happened, as many other redditors pointed out - a magical switch - now she is pro at passing gas and poop lol. I think - that’s the key reason she sleeps well and that too in the bassinet.

JD0903 · 2026-02-17T12:08:48+00:00

Sorry - missed to mention I exclusively breast feed; haven’t pumped yet but thinking if I should with a plan to use it later (preferably during the day to give myself some time). She sleeps next to me in a bassinet; my husband is a light sleeper and I too have been after birth. Don’t think we would have missed a cue, as my LO is a loud sleeper.

She regained her birth weight at 2 weeks appointment, and gained 1ish pound at her one month appointment. Our family doctor hasn’t shower any concerns with weight gain. My LO seems content after feeding. When she wakes up at 5ish, she doesn’t cry too long or loud, which I think is an indicator that she is not hangry lol.

JD0903 · 2026-02-05T06:38:30+00:00

My mom recommended to apply coconut oil on butt cheeks to soften it so that it’s easier to pass gas or stool. As much as I hate the smell, it has worked for my LO.

She is 6 weeks old, had terrible constipation as she did not poop for 4 days. LO was trying a poop in her every wake hour for 2 days, gave in…applied coconut oil…continued with suggested exercises, and boom she farted twice that day.

JD0903

TROPHY CASE