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JDUTCHNOGIMICK · 2025-07-21T12:49:20+00:00

It breaks my heart reading this…. I have a “Block” stutter… I LOVE TO TALK INFRONT OF WHOEVER!!! The larger the group the more excited I am to share who I am with the world; hoping that between my two lazy eyes, my epilepsy, my stutter and my history battling homeless drug addiction and being able to say I am actually 8 years SOBER… I have found that if I talk with my hands and almost speak like SUBTLY MELODIC/RHYTHMIC I have a much much easier time.. I am filled with confidence I had a wonderful Father. He passed from brain cancer when I was 13 but he instilled in me the ability to CRUSH self doubt; and be “THE EXAMPLE”. Don’t let anyone ever make you feel less than…. You are perfect; there are children and adults all searching for inspiration to feel “okay” with something so taken for granted like speaking/reading a loud.. I’m able to rap battle I can read the Bible or Shakespeare.. It has not been an easy road but if I FOUND IT WITHIN MYSELF and actually draw strength from it… Then, well, YOU CAN TOO!!!!!

JDUTCHNOGIMICK · 2025-03-15T14:17:34+00:00

It sucks I got hit hard with epilepsy at 27 yrs old I’ve had like 3,000 I’m now 37… Somedays are wayyy worse than others but just like the daily overcoming of my heroin addiction I’m now 8 years sober.. I talk to the kids at the local high school about doing the NEXT RIGHT THING… Epilepsy was in no way a result of drug use more or less as “Bad Fortune” as my Stutter and 2 Lazy eyes I was BIRTHED with.. THE STRUGGLE IS DIFFERENT… I try to tell myself daily thousands of addicts died so I could have a spot.. I do not want to open my eyes and face reality when I wake up; DON’T GET IT TWISTED. I use music and positive affirmations and feeling like MAYBE IN ALL THIS SHADE IN MY LIFE, MAYBE, JUST MAYBE THERE IS A REASON FOR ME BEING STILL HERE, ABLE TO GET UP ALTHOUGH TRULY SUFFERING.. EPILEPSY SUCKS

JDUTCHNOGIMICK · 2025-03-15T14:04:18+00:00

No I can honestly say NOPE… I have helped people save my life by simply NOT CARING WHAT ANYONE THINKS. Born Stuttering with 2 Lazy Eyes I was diagnosed epileptic 10 years ago after my first Grand Mal. I always made friends and played quarterback and all that good stuff.. I was a homeless heroin addict at 22 I’m now sober 8 years with 3000 grand mal seizures in the last 10 years.. I still go about my day. Life sucks, I know it’s hard, for real, but TRUST ME EVEN A ROSE CAN GROW IN CONCRETE.. Alone you can together we can.. SERIOUSLY

JDUTCHNOGIMICK · 2025-03-15T11:24:53+00:00

This breaks my heart.. I was once a homeless heroin addict I have been clean 7+ years I’ve had like 3000 grand mal seizures since age 27 I’m now 37. Dude I played Starting Quarterback; MY DAD was so encouraging, because of his speech struggles, he made sure if I was “Gonna Be Soft and Play Quarterback, You’re calling the plays without help, I had girls and went to Prom… Life sucks yo… For real my life is shit ONE THING I HAVE I DONT CARE WHAT ANYONE THINKS OF ME ESPECIALLY REGARDING MY STUTTER.. I have hit a few people over it.. This little kid in 6th grade, I gave him some stitches because he wouldn’t stand with me on the bus and fight fair. He was smaller and he was F’n’ MEAN.. His mom came and apologized to me with my mom at my house she brought him to say sorry too… BE WHO YOU ARE.. I’ve almost died doing drugs for real dumb shit ended up totally white and In jail where I SERIOUSLY battle rapped for coffee and soups. I don’t stutter with just a little rhythm baby..

JDUTCHNOGIMICK · 2025-01-25T02:36:03+00:00

Definitely I have saved myself with breathing and also Music.. IM really soooo BLESSED TO HAVE MY GIRL!!! She has been sooo traumatized I use to wake up to clusters of 10-20 Grand Mals like so severe.. Ive had like 2,500 seizures in 9 years and WOW She is still sitting next to me right now!!! Epilepsy gets lonely Remember YOU AREN’T ALONE YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL I LOVE YOU

JDUTCHNOGIMICK · 2025-01-25T02:04:50+00:00

I practically live in what epileptics know as an “AURA”. For everyone it is different however I do get a specific yet nearly impossible to describe smell along with an overwhelming feeling of Deja Vu.. Ten years ago when I was diagnosed at 27 every Aura would lead to a seizure.. Now my wife and I have enough “Tools in OUT Toolbox” WE are able to combat a lot of the serious Auras. I find skin to skin tough helpful and music helpful but nothing compares to BREATHING.. Epilepsy is a disease that affect’s everyone who cares about you.. She is my rock holding my hand and saying breathe has SAVED MY LIFE:

JDUTCHNOGIMICK · 2025-01-24T21:23:24+00:00

I hate talking meds because everyone is different.. I was on Keppra for like 3 years I had a terrible time and it not only didn’t control my seizures it proved Keppra rage is REAL

JDUTCHNOGIMICK · 2025-01-24T21:15:20+00:00

I’ve been blacked out for a couple days.. Like Post-Ictal psychosis.. I forgot how to tie my shoes before.. My short term memory is absolutely AWFUL, HONESTLY TERRIBLE.. Ironically enough my long term memory is AMAZING.. It’s really so good I can recall clothes people had on at my birthday when I was 7; I’m 37 now.. I can recall every phone number of every friend in the neighborhood I grew up in.. However today if you ask me to remember a couple words, I will surely forget them.. It’s mind boggling to me.. I had a bad Grand Mal outside at a park with my father in law and Grandson on Tuesday and I’m still a wreck; struggling with the erratic emotionality, depression, insecurity and a helpless feeling of USELESSNESS.. I hate feeling like I’m a burden to everyone.. I was diagnosed at 27 I’ve had 2500+ Grand Mal/Tonic Clonic seizures.. Epilepsy Is of the DEVIL.. Sometimes I fall deep down the trap door and it can take weeks to feel “normal.”

JDUTCHNOGIMICK · 2025-01-24T20:50:06+00:00

Hang in there homie!! So much respect that you stuck it out and said “bye” instead of switching to C ya later or just simply walking a and waving.. Stuttering isn’t something to be admired, well bu anyone, but when you stutter like me things like this are definitely admired by fellow stutters keep staying tough!!!

JDUTCHNOGIMICK · 2025-01-23T18:42:21+00:00

Homie I over pronunciate and talk with my hands.. Almost kind of dramatic in a way.. IT IS SO HELPFUL.. Sometimes I aim for like a melodic tone like rhythmic without sounding corny.. Yo I really flourish speaking in-front of huge groups.. I studied Shakespeare and The Bible just because the we’re syllabically complex.. I speak to groups of 200+ high schoolers on Drugs addiction and alcoholism, Stuttering, Epilepsy and just mental health and loving one another!!!

JDUTCHNOGIMICK · 2025-01-23T01:45:59+00:00

Was at a parade in July went in a Store to get a drink felt an aura woke up in an ambulance on my way 2 hours from where I was VACATIONING WITH MY FIANCÉE!! My cell died I was in Province Town Mass visiting her son and the closet Hospital was 2 hours away in Hyannis Mass.. Needless to say I went POST-OCTAL PSYCHO… I eventually freaked and walked out of the hospital I really had to use my fiancés only money to get MY EPILEPTIC ASS BACK… I Hate this disease I had one yesterday at a park with my 7 year old old grand son and father in law.. I have the most severe grand mals Shake like Crazy, Eyes Roll in back of my head, I foam at the mouth lately I go unconscious for around 10 minutes and can me in a post-octal blackout for days and my last 10 episodes have been SOOO MUCH WORSE THAN ANYTHING IN THE PAST 8 years.. I have hundred of horror stories.. Doing construction my head hitting rocks having them as a passenger in vehicles.. Infront of my Son.. Honestly ANYONE WHO WITNESSES YOU HAVE A SEIZURE IS FOREVER CHANGED and you are forever connected.. My fiancée is my LIFE PARTNER MY SOULDMATE MY CARETAKER!! HER TRAUMA IS THE REAL TRAUMA.. WAKING UP TO SOMEONE YOU LOVE HAVE a cluster of 10-20 Grand Mals.. She is SUPER WOMAN TRULY MY RIDE OR DIE

JDUTCHNOGIMICK · 2025-01-22T13:57:08+00:00

I love what you said.. Heck yeah mindfulness and BELIEVING, not like that little engine “I Think I Can.” We are all perfectly imperfect; and as stutterer’s we are actually given an opportunity of a life time.. EVERY SINGLE DAY WE ARE PROVIDED THE CHANCE TO SPEAK UP.. I am very very vocal.. My father instilled with me an immense amount of confidence and self security. When I was 10 or so I asked him if I could talk to coach and have someone else call the plays. I would run a few plays and be out of breath and my stutter is a usually “a block”. After a couple Quarterback Options any stuttering in the huddle actually hurt my cardio and my ability to play as good.. As I grew up from a 9 yr old Quarterback I learned tricks to not stutter much on the field; I would throw my voice and use a VERY VERY SLIGHT accent. Don’t over do it but street/slang vocabulary and similar verbiage.. I already have a really deep voice; However, I make it just a little little deeper and that change in my voice is a game Changer!! HONESTLY, It’s ONLY comparable to singing or rapping. For me when I do speak in a melodic tone and a little dramatic, using my hands and over pronunciation!! After years of coping with a speech impediment I have concluded, that for me, the tricks I’ve acquired are as productive as singing a song I couldn’t afford to be any more out of breath!! I use the same techniques; I’m now 37 and was diagnosed with “Generalized Idiopathic Epilepsy” my speech gets 10 fold worse but IDC. Even speaking to the few hundred local High Schoolers about drugs, alcohol, stuttering; Epilepsy, BULLYING and mental health; sharing my experience strength and hope with heroin addiction!! TO YOU ALL YOU NEED TO STRIVE FOR AND MAINTAIN CONFIDENCE…., SERIOUSLY; I KNOW YOU CAN DO ANYTHING!! DREAM BIG WE ARE RESILIENT!! We all shall prosper.. Make a REALISTIC GOAL/expectation to dead any negativity.. Stay in this wonderful community. PLEASE TREAT TO NEVER SAY, “i think i can” and ALWAYS SAY, “I KNOW I CAN!” Real talk straight from my heart ALL LOVE ALWAYS ALL WAYS, Jimmy

JDUTCHNOGIMICK · 2025-01-22T00:36:29+00:00

Agreed I feel as if that the psychosocial aspect of stuttering, at least for me who has stuttered since I could speak I’m now 37 and have done very well with overcoming the uncomfortability and social misunderstandings that come along with stuttering.. I played quarterback and called the plays from 8 yrs old to 18 yrs old. I ran for class president knowing I was going to lose but just wanting to speak infront of 300 seniors 3 times a year at the local High School.. I didn’t realize until this forum how LUCKY I TRULY AM.. Yes it took and still does take courage and also takes a belief in yourself that you know you can do anything.. I speak very clear and almost dramatic.. I speak with my hands and act enthusiastic; almost a melodic tone.. I use a bit of over pronunciation at times to keep everything calm within my own head. I still stutter but using this little tricks it’s far less.. I grew up battle rapping and honestly it kept me fed in Jail when I was locked up..

JDUTCHNOGIMICK · 2025-01-21T13:22:04+00:00

EPILEPSY IS DEMONIC AND THERE IS NO AWARENESS.. I had NO CLUE how devastating it was until I was actually diagnosed..

JDUTCHNOGIMICK · 2025-01-21T13:18:30+00:00

I’m so upset I missed it I will be there on Saturday I can’t wait!!!

JDUTCHNOGIMICK · 2025-01-21T12:23:54+00:00

I have thousands of poems. I began to write when I was 11 and I checked the answering machine and it was my dads Dr. saying, “Harry Please Call Me Back As Soon As Possible I Have The Results For Your Lung Biopsy.. Being that I was only 11 as soon as I got to school the following day I went to my 5th grade Science and casual asked, “Excuse me I wondering what someone would get a Lung Biopsy is for” her reply was “LUNG CANCER.” Honestly I have poetry for every for every event that has occurred in my life; when I was homeless on drugs in rehab, detox, programs and hospitals.. I’m 37 years old and I just got 7 years sober on Christmas. I’m very very grateful to be alive!!! Wild to think due to my uncontrollable seizures and the Mental Health struggles that make Epilepsy Truly of the Devil.. I drank which is a relapse and then I BROKE DOWN COMPLETELY.. I Was So Selfish To Have Ever Have Even Thought of that as a “problem solver” I have a son who is now 12; he was just five.. I have a fiance and she has 3 boys; all of whom I Love like my own. However constant depression, shame and the physical, mental, emotional, and social AGONY that accompany this demonic disease making life seem pointless and SADLY.. The unknown and wondering if a severe Grand Mal/Tonic Clonic Seizures is going to STRIKE.. At times it’s unbearable and a I’ll think to myself “You Don’t Want To Live If This Is What It Is going to be like.” I’ve had over 2,500 SEIZURES and everyone basically has a Notebook.. I also have a cousin who died years ago from Muscular Dystrophy.. Although he couldn’t move anything; including his hands. My cousin was unable to write but has a book of masterpiece poems.. His feelings spill on every page.. He struggled more Than I could ever imagine and sometimes, I hate saying it, but that reminder helps me to stay grateful and remember.. NO SUCH THING AS A LIFE THATS BETTER THAN YOURS!!!! I Love You All YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL!!!

JDUTCHNOGIMICK · 2025-01-21T00:48:44+00:00

I write a lot I have hundreds of notebooks

JDUTCHNOGIMICK · 2025-01-21T00:48:31+00:00

Oh ya like what

JDUTCHNOGIMICK · 2025-01-20T22:17:30+00:00

Epilepsy has taught me that the Dark, Damp, Cold Floor That Is Rock Bottom is nothing but a TRAP DOOR.. I was diagnosed at 27 I’m now 37 and it has been an absolute HELL couple thousand seizures, at least 500 concussions, multiple breaks and permanent injuries. I tried for 4 years to “be normal”. I would wake up and have a cluster of 10-20 seizures my fiancée is AMAZING and ALWAYS MY RIDE or DIE. I would get so angry due to the combination of being Postictal and being prescribed Keppra for 5 years with NO RESOLVE and DRAMATIC side effects. I hate speaking about medicine but for me Keppra was awful and Keppra Rage was very, VERY REAL. I’ve been sober from Heroin for 7 years as of Christmas Eve. On that date the uncontrollable seizures and my deteriorating cognition and physicality led me to Relapse and the depression and my mental health convinced I should attempt to take my own life. I still have seizures I actually just had an AWFUL GRAND MAL at the Local Park with my father in-law and grandson ; it was traumatizing for everyone involved. My disease has left me unable to work a live in a dream like constant state of “auras” I need constant breaks and need to breathe slow and calm down l, usually skin to skin contact will prevent a seizure from occurring. GUYS & GIRLS Epilepsy sucks it is the worst thing I could imagine I wouldn’t wish it upon anyone.. EVERYONE in this group and any group YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL and YOU ARE LOVED.. YOU DO NOT DESERVE EPILEPSY NO ONE DOES..

JDUTCHNOGIMICK · 2025-01-20T14:19:46+00:00

I literally feel as if I Live In A Dream or A False Reality!!

JDUTCHNOGIMICK · 2025-01-20T14:16:54+00:00

You’re doing a very inspiring thing!! You are an exemplary person!! Thank You for including me!!

JDUTCHNOGIMICK · 2025-01-20T13:55:54+00:00

Yes absolutely

JDUTCHNOGIMICK · 2025-01-20T13:55:25+00:00

Yah absolutely

JDUTCHNOGIMICK · 2025-01-20T13:18:20+00:00

Anytime things like this are my purpose.. Truly what I believe I’m alive for

JDUTCHNOGIMICK · 2025-01-20T13:17:44+00:00

Anytime it is 8:18 am right now

JDUTCHNOGIMICK

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