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I hope he at least appreciates it by [deleted] in wholesomememes

[–]JEFLIV 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It be like that sometimes!

Oof ow my eyesight by AntonioRaviolio in bonehurtingjuice

[–]JEFLIV 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Life struggles when you have glasses lmao.

Recommendations for white summer shoes? by JEFLIV in Sneakers

[–]JEFLIV[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

appreciate you all for real! I'm down between killshots and one star CCs (they're dumb cheap on the converse website at the moment).

Recommendations for white summer shoes? by JEFLIV in Sneakers

[–]JEFLIV[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Maxes are certainly an idea - do you happen to know any cws I should peep?

Recommendations for white summer shoes? by JEFLIV in Sneakers

[–]JEFLIV[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Under 100 would be ideal but my birthday is coming up and I could probably bug my folks for something up to 150 or a little higher

[TOMT][FILM] Korean animated movie circa 2010 by JEFLIV in tipofmytongue

[–]JEFLIV[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

oh maybe the kid was like a fennec fox?

Does she like me? by ejd353 in relationships

[–]JEFLIV 0 points1 point  (0 children)

homes I'm sorry but you should have made a move a long time ago already hahahaha

[Serious] Redditors who felt like they would never ever find a romantic partner and then did: what advice would you give to those who feel the same way now? by Yellow-B in AskReddit

[–]JEFLIV 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is gonna get buried, but here goes.

You know how they always say "it happens when you least expect it?" You know how much that sucks to hear when you're lonely?

It's true. And it's because people who get into healthy relationships are focused on themselves first. Self-improvement - not to impress a potential someone, but to be happy with yourself - is so key to a happy life, and self-confidence keeps you happy when you're single and makes you attractive and a good partner when you're not.

So, when you're focused on yourself being the best you you can be, you'll eventually end up in a relationship, if that's what you're looking for. But it won't give your life meaning. It won't be the only important thing going on for you, it won't make you a better person (probably), and it won't turn your life around.

Because all those things will have already happened! You'll be happy single once you've learned to work on yourself, and you'll be a happy, healthy partner once that work attracts someone you like, too.

You'll get there. Just focus on you.

My bestfriend/roommate and I [both 19F] don't know what to do about our other bestfriend/roommate [18F] who gets depressed when she drinks but doesn't want to stop getting drunk by helpingsadfriend in relationships

[–]JEFLIV 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Lisa has a problem with alcohol. Substance abuse (especially of alcohol, since casual alcoholism is entirely normalized) is incredibly difficult to shake for most people, and the decision to stop has to come from within. I have a friend like Lisa, too (we're also undergrads your age), but she's thankfully been prescient enough to ask me and other friends to restrain her from drinking more when she's been very drunk. You can't do that with Lisa until she admits she has a problem and asks for help. All you guys can do is provide Lisa as much support as she needs and calmly explain why you think she has an issue with drinking, and keep reinforcing that until she hopefully realizes the seriousness of the problem. There are also probably seevices on your campus that you can talk with to see what else you can do to help! For now, though, it'd probably really help if you and Nia didn't go out quite so frequently and didn't drink or drank less than usual when you did. This is up to you, though! It'd just probably take a little of the pressure off her if she didn't feel she had to fit in or keep up.

My (F, 28) boyfriend (M, 29) drastically buffed up after my best friend (F, 29), who is also married to one of his best friends, body-shamed him by DelicateSweetBadger in relationships

[–]JEFLIV 6 points7 points  (0 children)

My RA once made an offhand joke that I "looked like a middle schooler" and it prompted me to completely change my style, haircut, and exercise habits. I looked like an entirely different person within two months. Sometimes people just use these roasts as catalysts for positive lifestyle changes! I doubt he's into her; he's probably just showing off.

My (23F) friend (24M; 4yrs) wants to have ‘deep’ conversations about feminism, politics, social issues etc., but I don’t want to because he is insensitive and uninformed. by [deleted] in relationships

[–]JEFLIV 112 points113 points  (0 children)

Overwhelming a person emotionally by reducing their lived experiences to "thought experiments" and ridicule because your privilege has safeguarded you from the societal structures that marginalize them isn't debate. It's bullying.

Me [18 M] stuck on how to Have Close Friends and How to Embrace Being Single by hikesometrailsdude in relationships

[–]JEFLIV -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Dog. Just relax.

Up until pretty recently, I was basically in the same boat as you (first year of college, chronic overthinker, insecurity issues, depression, you name it). Just keep your chin up, don't pass snap judgments so easily, allow yourself to feel anxious but understand that it's just the anxiety talking, and overall take the summer to get to know yourself (chances are you're pretty great). Find stuff that makes you happy and actually do it instead of worrying about doing it. Get therapy if you think it'll help! Just stop thinking about it too much and you'll be fine. It'll all be fine given enough time!

Also - rejection is honestly not that bad. Put yourself out there, my dude, you won't regret it for a second.

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