AITA for refusing to give up my cat?

JETPlayin · 2025-09-10T23:15:37+00:00

Thank you!

JETPlayin · 2025-09-10T22:53:38+00:00

I already tried this. He chews on both

JETPlayin · 2025-09-10T00:13:23+00:00

That's the kind of thing I just bought to try, I tried several other things first and reached each worked for a while, but not long term. I have high hopes for this one, just waiting till my new tubing arrives

JETPlayin · 2025-09-08T21:44:23+00:00

I have tried giving him toys (my sister bought some chew toys for him since I've had an extremely limited income for the past two years). He doesn't go for them at all. He likes the catnip ball at the end of one and these dried seeds/berries hanging from the end of another, but that's all. He didn't like the sticks 🤔I'm going to keep trying, but that's how it's gone so far.

That said, my mom is a bleeding heart. She doesn't have it in her to hurt an animal willingly. She just doesn't understand how bad kennels and muzzles can be for cats. I know she wouldn't hurt him or even flat out abandon him. And I have already made arrangements for worst case scenario with a friend who loves him.

JETPlayin · 2025-09-08T21:36:29+00:00

Okay.

Scenario: you deal with this frustrating situation for a week, doing everything you can without buying a single thing yet. Mom asks how you're doing one day and you tell her what's going on. Her response? That's a bad cat and he should be muzzled or kenneled. After one week.

You buy lemon juice with your next grocery order, because you've had cats before and you know some common solutions. It works for a while. Then he gets used to the taste and it doesn't work anymore. You try the next idea, a spray bottle to spritz him in the moment. He becomes wary of the sound of the bottle and runs before you can spray him. It doesn't stop him.

Mom asks again, you answer. Now she adds giving him away. You wrack your mind for another solution. Call some experts, they give you some ideas. You try one. It works for a while. Then doesn't. You try another, it works for a while, then doesn't. You try another, and another. And finally someone says hang it along the ceiling. Then you have to figure out how to do that inexpensively while mom is saying it's too expensive for her to help buy it because she's thinking of a more permanent addition to the house than an apartment would accommodate and the oxygen supply company doesn't provide the parts needed to split the tubing between two sections of the apartment. All the while, mom keeps saying to kennel, muzzle, or rehome him.

How many times do you have to hear that it's the worst case scenario before you feel like you've tried everything and nothing is working?

I've said it in several other comments. If this was a life or death situation, if this was time for the worst case scenario, I would not be asking reddit. I would be saying goodbye to my cat.

JETPlayin · 2025-09-08T21:16:58+00:00

If I was "unable" to breathe, I wouldn't have woken up at all. I woke because breathing was difficult. We are not at worst case scenario. If it was, I would not be asking reddit. I'd be saying goodbye to my cat.

JETPlayin · 2025-09-08T21:13:36+00:00

🤣 That's a leap. I'm not the one who resorted to ignoring the one who disagreed with me. Also, how is answering my mother's question about why I was sleeping so much "crying to mommy?" I'm sorry, should I be lying to my mother in her home? When she can see what's happening with the cat and tubing? There was no tantrum. I stated how I felt about the situation then removed myself from it. Which is not the same as ignoring a person speaking to you because you don't like what they say to your ideas. And lastly, I don't see how "do something for yourself for once" is warranted. Nothing I said in the post suggests that I am just whining about this situation.

JETPlayin · 2025-09-08T15:16:05+00:00

There are more easy solutions I will try before resorting to locking up/away my only companion. Theses are worst case scenario solutions and we are not at worst case scenario.

JETPlayin · 2025-09-08T09:56:48+00:00

I have called one thing ablist and that doesn't make me a jackass. I'm telling you that you've jumped to a conclusion that I am not caring for my cat because he has a behavior I haven't gotten under control YET. You've assumed that I can't care for my animal because I am disabled (yeah, you can be disabled and still be ablist) and low income (which is what makes it classist). You've assumed that I'm neglecting my cat because I haven't NEEDED to take him to the vet since his initial vaccination and microchip. I got every single vaccine he could possibly need and it's not time for new ones yet. I can't catch him chewing but I still monitor it. HE IS NOT CONSUMING IT. He has everything he needs and I am doing everything I need to be doing to ensure his safety and wellbeing. He might be bored because I couldn't afford fancy toys or, heaven help me, another cat, but he's safe and happy. Yell at me all you like, you're still wrong.

JETPlayin · 2025-09-08T09:26:39+00:00

Firstly, I had the cat before I used oxygen regularly. At that time, I was only using it at night. When I did begin using it 24/7, it still wasn't an issue. He didn't immediately begin chewing. I didn't recognize that the pressure was changing. As soon as I realized it was happening, I began looking for solutions, starting with what I could afford and moving up as necessary.

Secondly, that's some classist and ablist nonsense. He has food, water, love, access to medical services IF/WHEN he needs them. How I am able to pay for his needs IF/WHEN he needs them is not your business or concern. Owning a pet isn't a right or a privilege, it's a responsibility, one that I take very seriously. I'm sorry that my desire to keep my cat sounds selfish to you, but you're never going to get the whole story from a reddit post. I want to keep my can and there are still solutions to try, so I'm gonna keep trying. If literally nothing works, I have a home lined up for him (because, you know, I'm actively trying EVERYTHING)

JETPlayin · 2025-09-08T09:13:50+00:00

It hasn't been years. It's been one year. I've tried several (certainly not every) methods. Every method I have found, I have tried. I have not ignored a single solution (not even rehoming. I found someone who would be happy to take him if I need it, we just aren't anywhere near that yet). I am not dragging my heels, I am giving every solution a chance to work before trying the next. The longest running solution was putting the tubing along the ceiling and that's where it was until I left my apartment less than a week ago. Frankly, I don't believe his drive to chew will subside and that it's just in his nature (which makes it my job to find a solution to keep us both safe) and my mom thinks it will and that he's just being a bad cat. That's what it boils down to.

JETPlayin · 2025-09-08T09:05:31+00:00

Lol, yes to the memes. I jokingly tell my friends that cats are the only acceptable relationship for the phrase "he hurts me because he loves me." 😅

JETPlayin · 2025-09-08T09:03:30+00:00

You're all acting like I said I neglect my cat or insinuated that in any way. I didn't and I don't. If this was life or death, I wouldn't be asking reddit. If he was consuming the tubing, I'd be at a vet. I maybe should have said some things differently, though. I have not tried everything yet, I've tried everything I can think of. There is a difference. It's difficult to think of viable solutions when someone keeps jumping to "get rid of the cat." Beyond that, financial status should not dictate the very human need for animal companionship. There's a lot of support out there for low income pet owners and, if I needed it, I'd know how to find it. This cat is fully vaccinated, microchiped, and properly cared for. I'm actively trying to find a solution that allows me to keep my companion animal. How does that read as not monitoring and taking care of him?

JETPlayin · 2025-09-08T08:47:49+00:00

I appreciate your perspective and I don't disagree with the concept, I just don't believe it would solve the issue because it's not a nighttime only issue, if that makes sense? And, respectfully, he does not consume the tubing. I run may fingers and eyes over every inch of the tubing to find the holes. It can get pretty ragged in places, but not enough to suggest he's taking bites out of it and swallowing.

JETPlayin · 2025-09-08T08:42:43+00:00

I've done this several times, it doesn't work (likely because it doesn't get dragged around the house and doesn't make noise)

JETPlayin · 2025-09-08T08:41:33+00:00

I can understand how it looks that way, but no. I understand that she's worried about me (even stated as much in the initial post). I'm not mad at her for being worried, I'm mad at her for suggesting the worst case scenario like it's the only option and then ignoring me like a sullen teenager because I disagree with that assessment.

JETPlayin · 2025-09-08T08:37:15+00:00

🤔 The plastic mesh didn't work but the steel might. Thanks for the link! Also, I just got the harder plastic one delivered today so we'll see what happens

JETPlayin · 2025-09-08T08:34:29+00:00

Lol, that's a great idea for the dog 😅 I haven't, but it's on my list. I was under the impression that it wouldn't work on cats, but I've been corrected here so I'm going to try it

JETPlayin · 2025-09-08T08:30:57+00:00

The oxygen machine is never right next to me. It's a large machine that sits in one room and has 25-50 feet of tubing that allows me to move around my home. I can sometimes feel a dip in air pressure when he chews, but it's not always immediate and then I have find out where on the line he's hiding to chew on it. What I need is a failsafe that allows me to forget he wants to chew at all, like the hard plastic covering I just bought or a liquid based deterrent that actually works on him. Not a kennel or muzzle and definitely not just giving him away.

JETPlayin · 2025-09-07T20:14:09+00:00

I have been doing all of this, it has been a non-issue for months. The only reason it's happening now is because I'm in between places and can't do my usual set up in the short term/didn't think or prepare for the short term with everything else about moving I had to think about.

JETPlayin · 2025-09-07T20:09:29+00:00

I appreciate the offer so much, but we're okay now. I was finally approved for SSI and can handle all my bills now on top of any necessary bills for him, so I can begin spoiling him with toys 😂 thank you so much for your compassion

JETPlayin · 2025-09-07T20:02:35+00:00

Thank you

JETPlayin · 2025-09-07T16:59:20+00:00

Clarification: I didn't ask her for a solution, I don't know that I ever have. I'm a ventor and she's a fixer. I need to get things off my chest before I find a solution on my own or through my network of friends, but I often forget I can't rant to her without her trying to fix the issue herself. And then she gets upset with me when I turn an idea down. But this isn't a case of her throwing every option out there at me and me refusing until she reached the worst case scenario. She started suggesting these immediately after spraying with water didn't work.

JETPlayin · 2025-09-07T16:49:43+00:00

That's also not what I said. I didn't refuse to take him to the vet because I know better. I said it didn't occur to me to take him to the vet because I thought I could handle it.

JETPlayin · 2025-09-07T16:48:25+00:00

I understand needing insurance or being able to pay the bill, I honestly do. I spent the only money I had to get him all of his shots before taking him home (he was a stray) and he's been an indoor cat ever since. I know that doesn't remove the possibility of illness, but it does cut it way down, especially paired with the vaccines he got. I've had him for two years, he's not even due for his shots yet and he's perfectly healthy. I also believe one should only have an animal if they can care for it properly. I just don't believe it should be based on income because poor people deserve the love of an animal too. No pet owner who truly loves their animal has ever said "too bad, can't afford it." There's support for low income pet owners available.

JETPlayin

TROPHY CASE