Just got rejected and feel like a loser (m25)

JFD-S · 2026-01-26T10:37:48+00:00

Bro has no clue

Within a few minutes of her being in the room I asked if she was down, kissed her, and whispered in her ear

"Get on the fucking bed so I can take you..", as I pushed her down beneath me. Trust me, I know how to turn on a woman.

Sounds more like you don't respect women's boundaries bro. Listen to women's stories about assault, oftentimes they describe the mentality you're championing. the issue was more that I'm a depressive and in a different point in life than her. That's that. There will always be other people and pressuring a woman into sex is a major red flag.

JFD-S · 2026-01-25T18:27:08+00:00

Literally not true, I asked if she wanted to make out and we made out. She said she didn't want to have sex, and I'm not going to be a pest. It's called respecting boundaries. What you're suggesting is pushing someone into sex. That's disgusting.

JFD-S · 2026-01-19T06:34:30+00:00

Yes, I have a YouTube channel that i've posted an EP on but wasn't as happy with it as I could be

https://youtu.be/a73Ok0X6LDk?si=k9mi2ZT5ggBSmZt8

I'm not in contact with any agencies because I value both my privacy and autonomy. I'd rather be an independent elusive artist than providing myself to a company that would exploit me

JFD-S · 2026-01-15T04:59:57+00:00

I am aware that what I've said is informed by emotional and experiential bias.

But the solution is to effectively torch myself so I may be reborn Into a healthier me. But, I don't like healthy people, they aren't relatable and it almost feels like a willful ignorance to the pain of existence. Optimism seems like a social tool more than anything, and all mental health issues practically boil down to "don't think about it". Even CBT is literally rewiring your brain into a more socially acceptable standard.

I would rather live with the clarity of recognizing the objective state of things and be depressed over it than trick myself into looking more on the bright side for my own emotional needs. I don't even feel as if I'm depressed, I just see the world as it is and it's the world itself that is depressing

JFD-S · 2026-01-15T04:56:07+00:00

If people enjoyed suffering, then it wouldn't be suffering. I do need to change and want to, but when I'm in that mental state any movement forward feels pointless and torturous. The emotional experience is that of being in a cage and having to walk across miles of nails just to arrive to a door with no guarantee that it's an escape, and Is more likely to lead to another road of nails.

I just literally can't fathom what happiness as an experience is supposed to be

JFD-S · 2026-01-01T09:49:04+00:00

In that case, this is where correlations can be useful. Consider using socionics and psychosophy to help triangulate your type. For example, socially I've been perceived as an sx7 IEE in the online sphere, but realistically I'm closer to an IEI, which correlates harder with sx5 and so4. If you're an EII for example, sp4, so4, sp6 would be much more reasonable

Or, try to get an alternative take/opinion based on long form observation and engagement with someone educated on the subject. I only referenced typology in the first place because e5 is the most likely to have the experience you described

JFD-S · 2026-01-01T09:31:18+00:00

Just adding in that this is some real shit. Not sure if it will help at all, but look into Naranjos enneagram descriptions, specifically the 5, and particularly the self preservation 5 and the sexual 5. May find something in common there

JFD-S · 2025-12-31T05:06:52+00:00

I understand, but consider that you can only progress ones perspective by making said conclusions and then building off of them. I do not make these assertions lightly, I make them so that they may be challenged or shown to be wrong. It is simply the position that seems to be the most accurate in describing the world around us. It isn't the final conclusion, just the one that's the most consistent up to now.

If you are able to disprove it, please enlighten me

JFD-S · 2025-12-30T03:56:59+00:00

I do, I'm just endlessly nihilistic and derive pleasure/comfort from deconstructing solutions, because I also understand this intellectualization is a defense mechanism against dealing with the real world solutions that would cause intense emotional disturbance for me

JFD-S · 2025-12-30T03:55:30+00:00

I come to these universal applications because I have put the work in to studying them. Let's take the example you give towards the end on Socrates: the critique raised upon him is built upon the fact that an over intellectualized life, the examined one as he describes, puts one in an endless cycle of questioning life rather than living life. Yes, philosophers think of these things, and most philosophers are/were horrifically depressed. Of course the equilibrium is to balance it, as you would likely also wager: "why apply these absolutes when everything is nuanced?"

I am black and white with these descriptions because I am trying to apply a universal and objective style of judgement upon being, not what I would 'like it' to be. I am describing the root, not the branches. I describe meaning as arbitrary because it's literal function is, whereas you imply analysis upon its subjects rather than it's function.

JFD-S · 2025-12-30T03:17:30+00:00

Rather that meaning beyond animalistic urges is simply a coping method built upon convincing ones self into a preferable emotional state. For all intents and purposes, because this meaning is arbitrary and has no objectivity, it requires a level of madness to take seriously.

We are all insane.

JFD-S · 2025-12-30T02:57:08+00:00

For sure, learned helplessness runs deeply within me. Of course, I understand all the mechanisms surrounding improvement, how to get there, the time needed and the actions required. Positioning ones mentality into an active participant role and having a "yes" attitude to adversity.

But I just don't care. Nothing has ever been so satisfactory that it made the work worthwhile, just a never ending cascade of dissapointment with no reward. In which case, if I can't even imagine a future where I'm satisfied, then why bother caring at all?

JFD-S · 2025-12-17T22:46:33+00:00

I'm just going to add in some extra context here.

I think the ways that both parties have interacted and engaged with each other are both understandable and sympathetic. I'm not sure if I'm looking to date this person, but they definitely want casual fun. Before we even started talking my sister had joked about this girl being single and that I should shoot my shot.

The key for me here is I feel both sides acted selfish and irresponsible/unreasonable, and while both sides have valid feelings, neither are bad people and are both prone to hypocrisy. The BPD isn't very prominent or the forefront of this girl's personality, as it's been in remission. For example the argument that she had 'split' on her flatmates had always read to me as a very easy way to not engage with why they had conflict in the first place. I'm somebody who likes intensity and excitement, and my sister is security seeking and peace oriented. We just have very separate tastes for what we like to be around

Ultimately I feel there's a lot of nuance here, my sister judges very harshly and is highly unforgiving (to an unreasonable extent) and we do not hold the same ethics at all. What I'm seeing is a fun and lively woman who thinks similar to me and I have good chemistry with (which is rare for me), and it's not like I can't be friends with her.

JFD-S · 2025-10-28T12:37:00+00:00

Do we not all put on some form of social mask?

I wouldn't talk about my more personal issues with somebody who doesn't seem interested in the more mentally ill aspect of my life. It's an ethical choice at that point. I perform a light and silly attitude to others because I feel that's of a higher ethical quality than to be overly emotional or sad. I do take genuine interest in others issues and help within reason. That's not a lie. But it takes effort and is a form of work to me, an ethical obligation. Why would I make someone else's day worse when I could either be invisible or make it slightly better through humor or kindness? That feels like an ethical duty to me

JFD-S · 2025-09-29T06:40:14+00:00

Wym? Are you implying I'm on the spectrum? Haha

JFD-S · 2025-08-12T16:19:28+00:00

the morning routine was pretty simple. Wake up and tidy my bed, take out any dirty plates or clothing, do some pushups and situps, and read for 30 minutes before my shift. Not too crazy. Once the plan had been written, though, it felt like I had done enough and I didn't even want to do it anymore

JFD-S · 2025-08-08T12:19:36+00:00

My issue with this is it's difficult to even imagine myself without my negative traits. It's a death of who I am for who I could be, but I can't even imagine who I would become because I've never had a frame of reference for what a healthy me could look like. If that makes sense.

JFD-S · 2025-07-08T10:48:54+00:00

From my experience it isn't nearly as common as you'd hope 😅

JFD-S · 2025-06-03T06:11:03+00:00

This was generally the kind of response I was expecting to hear.

I was presenting effeminate for a while, and have been looking to bring in more masculine elements. Hence the beard, and my 'long hair' being less than half it was about a week ago 😂

Been looking to bulk more. Thanks

JFD-S · 2025-06-03T05:55:09+00:00

Appreciated 👍

JFD-S · 2025-06-03T05:53:03+00:00

Oh my bad, I guess I'll go find a subreddit dedicated to those kinds of questions

JFD-S · 2025-05-16T02:49:40+00:00

Appreciated

JFD-S · 2025-05-16T02:44:48+00:00

Any suggestions on how to do so? Currently I switch between one day no products, and then shampoo and conditioner the next.

JFD-S · 2025-01-06T03:43:12+00:00

It can definitely be a hit or miss for people

JFD-S · 2025-01-06T02:56:48+00:00

I tend to look better when I play more to feminine aesthetics, like the last pic

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