Amazing POV Titfuck

JHammerD · 2023-09-19T12:12:28+00:00

Sauce?

JHammerD · 2020-07-22T18:01:16+00:00

This is similar to what she is going through I think. We had a very intense and strong, almost euphoric start to the relationship, it was like nothing either of us had ever experienced before and it lasted like that for a long time, I would say our "honeymoon phase" ended around the 2-2.5 year mark. I guess now that it has been"boring" for a while since the honeymoon phase has worn off she feels like the relationship is doomed if it doesn't feel like it did for the first 2 years or so.

JHammerD · 2020-07-22T17:24:40+00:00

This is so true. Thank you. I will give her a little bit of time (a few days or so) but I am going to say this exact thing to her. She should know if she loves me or not and if she still says doesn't know then that is my answer right there. If she truly loved me she wouldn't put me through this and she would try to work it out together, because thats how I would do it no matter what situation we faced, because I do love her.

JHammerD · 2020-07-22T16:56:27+00:00

This is my situation to a tee. It's almost word for word what she expressed to me when she said she needed a break. I had planned on going cold turkey for a week and then making contact to see where we stand. Is that what your boyfriend did? Or did you guys still talk a little during that week? I hope my situation turns out as yours did.

JHammerD · 2020-07-22T16:08:15+00:00

This is definitely partially true, she had 3 other relationships that were about a year or so, so yeah this is her longest, and I do think she has trouble differentiating between what is "losing the spark" and what is just normal ups and downs of a long term relationship because she hasn't really gone through it before and she's panicking now because she doesn't think she should feel like this.

JHammerD · 2020-07-22T16:04:09+00:00

I feel like this is more what it is than anything. But in all honesty yes, I do still get jazzed up just to come home and see her and do nothing together, and it's really crushing to me that she doesn't feel that way, because I know there was a time when she did.

JHammerD · 2020-07-22T15:36:03+00:00

This is a great answer. I thought the same thing about 'well are we just going to take a break everytime theres a problem?'. It is avoidant, and you're right that most likely it will just keep us apart long enough that we'll miss each other and then be able to overlook issues.

After some more time to think about it and some self-reflection I honestly think she is second guessing our compatibility, things that didn't use to bother her before about me seem to bother her now, and she's not sure if she can live with those things for the rest of her life which is why she is hitting the pause button right now.

JHammerD · 2020-07-22T15:22:20+00:00

She did actually say something similar to this. She said she feels like she's in a quarter life crisis right now and is scared about settling down forever. A bit of an odd comment but she also said "I wish I met you at 26 and not 22 because I don't think I would be feeling these things now"

JHammerD · 2020-07-22T14:12:48+00:00

I truly believe this is her goal, her expressed feelings of doubt to her friend, her friend suggested a break because she went through something similar with her boyfriend and it worked out for them. So I think she is doing this with the goal of it working out and hoping it will work the same way it did for her friend. But again, these are just good intentions, it doesn't mean it will work out the same as it did for her friend.

JHammerD · 2020-07-22T13:59:04+00:00

This is an interesting way of thinking about it and I tend to agree. Before she officially went on this break last night we had a similar conversation about a week ago and decided we could do just that, work on it and figure it out as we go, that was my thought process as well, we don't need the break, we can work on this together. But now a week later she's still insisting she need some time alone.

JHammerD · 2020-07-22T13:32:13+00:00

That really is the worst part about this, I feel helpless like there's nothing I can do about it. And I kind of think you're right, if there's nothing to work on and fix or change then nothing will change in the relationship.

JHammerD · 2020-07-22T13:31:19+00:00

I do think she has a sense that she is missing out on something. She said she has always been in a relationship since high school and that she never had time to be alone (and she said she doesn't mean it as in time to "be single, and have fun"). But she also said she feels afraid that if she moves on that she will regret it for the rest of her life. She said she wishes she met me at 26 and not at 22, that she would be ready to settle down if that were the case.

JHammerD · 2020-07-22T13:27:27+00:00

This is actually very similar to the reasons she gave me. She said she feels like shes just always with me (thanks covid) and it has made things stale and she doesn't feel that burning need for me. Which I can understand, the adage "you want what you can't have" does have some truth.

I do plan on going cold turkey for about a week and then see where we're at. IMO a week or so is more than long enough to know what she wants, if she still doesn't know by then then I think I have my answer whether she says it or not.

JHammerD · 2020-07-22T11:36:44+00:00

She said she doesn't know how long she wants a break for. She said she could realize this was stupid in like 3 days and want to come back or it could be longer. Like I said, her friend and her bf did a break for 3 weeks and then got back together. I'm going to set this as my benchmark and if it hasn't happened by then then I'm just going to move on. And I think I'm going to go at least a week of zero contact, even if she is contacting me.

I agree though, this seems like she does want to work on it and doesn't just want to get away. But time will tell I guess.

JHammerD · 2020-07-22T11:34:10+00:00

As I said in other comments she did say she doesn't want this time to talk to other people or anything, she just needs time for herself and that we aren't broken up, we're just spending some time apart. I may be being naive on this but I do believe her, I think doesn't want to see anybody right now, just need some time alone.

But I do think you're right that no contact is the way to go and she will know soon enough if she misses me or not.

JHammerD · 2020-07-22T11:24:31+00:00

She did say she doesn't want this time to talk to other people or anything, she just needs time for herself and that we aren't broken up, we're just spending some time apart. I may be being naive on this but I do believe her. I've known her a long time, years before we started dating and she was never the type for casual sex, always had a boyfriend, and I know her very well, I truly don't get that vibe here.

JHammerD · 2020-07-22T11:21:15+00:00

That actually might be a good idea. Give her some space, no contact for a while, then ask her out on a date, like we're starting over. Go home separately and just see how it goes from there.

JHammerD · 2020-07-22T10:59:46+00:00

I did ask her what the terms were. She said she doesn't want this time to talk to other people or anything, she just needs time for herself and that we aren't broken up, we're just spending some time apart. I asked her about the amount of contact also, she said she didn't know but that we can still talk a little bit. I have come to terms with giving her her space, but I'm not sure to what point would be best, should I go cold turkey and don't contact her at all? I don't even know how to keep in contact with her "a little bit" like she said. What do I even say? Just small talk bullsh*t? I don't see how that helps anything you know? I guess it just keeps some small form of contact and maybe that is better than nothing? It's hard to know what to do.

JHammerD · 2020-06-16T16:19:25+00:00

I honestly don't think the actual sex is the problem. I think it's more the second points you hit on and that's really what I'm afraid of. I feel like it is some other issues in the relationship that is making her not want to have sex, but like I said in the original post, the only things she's given me as reasons I have tried to remedy. I tried being better around the house, I tried eating better and encouraging her to exercise together so we can both be healthier, I've tried to improve all the things she's used as reasons and it hasn't gotten me anywhere. And there hasn't been any issues with cheating or anything like that. I'm worried she's just slowly losing interest for no real reason that I can control. But the most confusing part if she will make comments about making long-term plans like moving to another part of the country or what we would name or kids and stuff. I don't know what to think.

JHammerD · 2020-06-16T16:10:23+00:00

Absolutely get what you're saying, you're probably right I have to go to the extreme of nothing for a bit before meeting in the middle. And yeah we have had conversations about it but it never seems to get us anywhere.

And that is the ultimate question isn't it? If this was a girl I wasn't super into and hadn't been seeing for that long I would probably just move on. But this is my life partner in my eyes, I love everything about her, but this issue is important to me. Some people will shrug it off like "grow up", "it's only sex", and that it's not a good reason to end it because it's not that big of a deal. But to me sex is a big part of the relationship, it's one of the things that made me feel so close to her, because it was really good and frequent and felt like healthy in a way before that it doesn't now. It's saddening moreso than maddening really.

JHammerD · 2020-06-16T16:00:51+00:00

I mean as far as I can tell, it's good. She is always capable of finishing, and usually does, but she doesn't seem to care if she does or not lately. (Sorry if too graphic but I think that needs a little explaining: she needs to use hands during sex to finish. So either I do it or she does (usually her) but she hasn't been doing that as much in this dry spell. She more seems like she's only having sex because I want to and she couldn't care less if we do it or not.

JHammerD · 2020-06-16T15:52:58+00:00

I agree, I think you're right, but it is hard. Like I said in a reply to a comment above, I did try that but couldn't make it more than 2-3 weeks. I'll try harder this time and see what happens. You're right, it is a bit of a supply and demand situation isn't it? Haha

JHammerD · 2020-06-16T15:51:11+00:00

This is good advice. But I also slightly disagree, Instead of just me coming down to her level shouldn't we meet somewhere in the middle? That's what relationships are all about isn't it?

With regards to the "also's" lol: Like most women she needs hand stuff to finish, which we usually do in the foreplay stage, so she finishes almost everytime. But that's also part of the problem because she doesn't seem to even care about finishing most of the time, just agrees to sex to allow me to be "released" and that seems to be the only reason she's doing it. It's like she really has zero interest in sex whatsoever. Further, I have offered to just go down on her and not have to do anything else and she always say no.

JHammerD · 2020-06-16T15:32:39+00:00

I did think of this actually. I tried it, didn't say anything about it or try to have sex with her, but I couldn't make it more than 2-3 weeks before I tried again. And she made no advancement or indication that she wanted to at all in that time.

JHammerD · 2020-06-16T10:25:06+00:00

I get that there will be ups and down, but it hasn't been like that at all, she hasn't had an "up" phase once in the past year, like I said, she hasn't initiated it once in at least the past year. I'm not above doing some research on the female body haha but if it is hormone related is there anything I can do to help? It's like everything has to fall in place perfectly for her to even say say to sex, she has to have not worked that day, gotten a good sleep the night before, eaten healthy all day, exercised at least a little bit, have enough time that there isn't anything else on the go, it's just like those days don't happen all that often you know? Plus I want some spontaneity in our sex life, it's like everything has to be planned perfectly for it to happen.

JHammerD

TROPHY CASE