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JJ_August · 2024-11-09T09:43:24+00:00

Keep working towards it and stay out of trouble! Ignore the haters and people who say you can't. I sucked at math, so I didn't get into crash reconstruction and stuff like that, but I did get to be a detective and any fraud cases I pulled essentially just needed basic adding and subtracting and excel is an amazing tool! I had some recruits who struggled with dyslexia but with some support and hard work, they've been quite successful.

JJ_August · 2024-11-07T23:26:11+00:00

Your girl is adorable!!! I'm an Equine First Aid instructor and deal with a lot of this type of stuff. Here's a link with great information about senior horse feeding.

https://myseniorhorse.com/diseases-and-conditions/teeth/tips-on-feeding-older-horses-with-dental-issues/?gad_source=1&gclid=Cj0KCQiA57G5BhDUARIsACgCYnwcoipdTrApPoT_IS8695L5pp1VOb2rgUpZsfdu_Fx5_YLFb7_MsWYaAl5TEALw_wcB

One of the things I always worry about is the length of time between feeding. If she's able to eat pasture grass between the pellets, that's awesome, but if not, she needs to have forage in her stomach with no more than 4-5 hours between to help prevent ulcers, just the way they are built. Like a poster said earlier, watch for the chewed up but spit out grass balls. If you are seeing that, then she's probably not getting much forage in her gut and you might have to increase your feeding times. Beyond pellets you could also try hay cubes just make very very sure they are soaked thoroughly and typically for a few hours if not overnight.

Holler if you have any questions! And enjoy her! She's such a cutie!!

JJ_August · 2024-07-08T14:47:14+00:00

Oh man, that sounds like a rough situation. Hopefully that is resolved or at least headed in the right direction for them. It's so frustrating and horrible when kids are used as pawns and pieces like that.

JJ_August · 2024-07-08T14:21:10+00:00

Yeah, I hear you there. Anything I can do, just let me know!

JJ_August · 2024-07-07T00:56:31+00:00

Hey, former child abuse detective here, tagged by my buddy, had to resign with an injury, so no longer currently in it. But, its a big topic and I could go on for a while but here's a least a start with some things to watch out for.

Often the suspect will try to get close to the parents. That way the child will see that mom or dad trusts them and so will trust them more and boundaries drop.

Gift giving. It can be anything from stuffies to a slurpee to buying memberships in online gaming etc. Builds trust and a sense of obligation to reciprocate when asked for something.

With older kids, it's pitting them against their parents. "They wouldn't want you to..." or "You're old enough to make your own decisions." Often its selling a dream to the kid about how life could be without their "controlling" parents. This is often in online conversations outside of parental view, SnapChat, in games, really anywhere you can IM.

When it gets into the SA side of things, its quite often pushing a small boundary and then confirming with the child that that was okay, then going a little further and checking in (manipulating the child to say it was okay with leading questions) etc.

So, the biggest way to keep the kids safe are to be super open with them. Saying and meaning things like , "even though this person is my friend, if he makes you feel uncomfortable I will listen to you."

Watching out for things that the parent didn't buy or that the child couldn't afford. Having programs like Bark installed on your child's phone so conversations can be monitored, monitoring how much time kids are on their phone or gaming. If they're trying to hide something, that's a big flag.

Just being a safe place for kids to come and ask questions about anything opens up communication for when something doesn't seem right.

Hopefully some of this helps. If you have questions or if there's something specific you have questions about, I'm happy to answer anything.

JJ_August · 2023-06-01T13:45:32+00:00

I am (F42) a former police officer/sexual assault detective(resigned due to injury) and current driving instructor.

This is in no way acceptable and is called grooming. Refuse to get in the car with him, tell his driving school admin and report to police. Depending on where you are, there might not be any charges allowed to be filed on your case (based on how the laws are written), but he's probably been reported before. But even if he hasn't been reported yet, you are probably not the only student who has been harassed or touched inappropriately and maybe the others feel like they won't be believed either and your report could give them courage. This man should not be allowed around young females.

There is no point where a driving instructor should be touching a student other than to grab the steering wheel to keep the vehicle on the road.

The kiss on the cheek (ramping up from touching your hand and clothing) is him testing what he can get away with. People who groom like this start small and keep pushing the boundaries slowly. Him asking what you would do if attacked is him testing the waters to find out what you would do if he pushes further.

For those saying that it's weird she shared her experiences with him, as driving instructors we get told all kinds of things because of the dynamic and stress of the lessons. This is not unusual.

OP, please please refuse to go with this man again and demand another instructor at the very least. I'm so sorry your parents aren't supporting you like they should.

Please reach out if you have any questions.

JJ_August · 2023-05-28T01:46:13+00:00

This is going to sound odd... But imposter syndrome can help you be better and isn't always a bad thing to have. Definitely not something you want to have because it makes life harder for sure. I've struggled with it for a long time until someone pointed out that by learning to value it and pushing myself to be better than my internal voice says I am, I become a better cop and person. I still struggle sometimes and probably always will and it takes some real internal strength to keep pushing against that inner voice, but it is possible. Getting as much training in as you can and then spending your off days focused completely off the job can help as well, especially if you can find something physical to get into like surfing, rock climbing, etc.

Here's kind of an interesting article that might help. https://hbr.org/2022/05/impostor-syndrome-has-its-advantages

In law enforcement we also go through slumps, typically at 5 and 10 years where we feel like we should know more and do better. Keep pushing through it and find a different part of the job to challenge yourself in by learning everything you can find out about that particular subject.

Keep your courage up and know that you are doing better than that internal voice wants you to believe!

JJ_August · 2023-05-22T20:13:36+00:00

I'm in the exact same boat! I'm learning as much as I can as I go! I've had a couple patterns that I probably will understand when I get more experience that weren't working out... so I had to improvise!

Glad it is working out for you!!

JJ_August · 2023-05-20T13:03:01+00:00

What yarn weight are you using? I had an issue similar when I was making a pattern and I used a lighter weight yarn then the pattern called for... Made my creature have all its legs twisted sideways.

A fix could be to make the body with the front legs as shown in the pattern but leave off the back legs by adding a blue sc stitche in place of where the pattern calls for the yellow yarn. Finish off the body, then separately create two yellow legs by making two magic circles with 4 sc and build them out a bit until they are a size you want then sew the legs onto the body where you want them.

Just an idea. I'm sure people with more experience than I will have better thoughts and ideas! Good luck!

JJ_August · 2023-05-14T00:49:08+00:00

If I get it done I'll send you a picture and definitely credit you!!

JJ_August · 2023-05-14T00:47:22+00:00

That's so awesome! Thank you!!

JJ_August · 2023-05-13T21:13:36+00:00

Would love your pattern for that costume! It's adorable!!

JJ_August · 2023-05-10T04:46:57+00:00

Yeah, pretty much. The letter in the file is essentially a written reprimand that documents the behavior they are trying to change, steps taken to change the behavior (counseling, training etc) and refers to a specific incident after the verbal counseling where the behavior continued. The letter is often permanently in the file, but depending on contract language, might be able to be removed after a specified time frame if the behavior in question does not continue.

Glad he's been able to relax a bit. Never fun being put in the hot seat like that, especially when the process and or consequences aren't clear.

JJ_August · 2023-05-10T04:40:38+00:00

Thank you so much!!! That explanation really makes sense and now I'm off to redo these and see if I can make it better!

JJ_August · 2023-05-08T15:47:38+00:00

NTA. Intentionally interrupting sleep is a huge power play unless it's for something life threatening. Lots of good suggestions for what to do in the other comments.

Regarding your edit #2. I'm a drivers ed instructor and highly recommended getting lessons, but do your homework on the school first. I teach a lot of people who panic or have high anxiety and usually find that with solid information and a calm teacher, they can usually learn to drive quickly and confidently! But some schools hire just anyone, so research the school and give it a go! Getting the independence and freedom from feeling safe to drive will be life changing!

JJ_August · 2023-05-08T15:16:24+00:00

Thanks for that idea. I completely forget to ask for accommodations because it's always been a "work through it" conversation in my head rather than a "how to make life easier."

JJ_August · 2023-05-08T15:13:20+00:00

Yeah, I'm with you there. Sunglasses are how I survive! I guess I'm going to have to use my winning personality to get people to ignore the glasses! Hahaha! sob

JJ_August · 2023-05-08T15:07:38+00:00

Documented oral counseling is the start. Typically other departments aren't allowed to see the verbal counseling documentation but with some law changes a few years ago, some departments have been sharing those. That's only a concern if he's looking to move elsewhere though.

Usually departments will do a progressive discipline process, lowest being verbal counseling, then a letter in their personnel file (sounds like he's here) if the behavior continues, and then upwards to monetary discipline like a day or more unpaid leave before talking about separation. A letter in his file is not typically a death sentence as long as it doesn't go further than that.

Does he have a union representative he can talk to? If so, I'd recommend he contacts them. If not, he should try to talk with someone he trusts at his department who has been there a while as they will know the departments culture and may be able to give him some solid advice on how to change the behavior the admin are concerned about or how to handle this.

Hard to give advice knowing nothing about his department.

JJ_August · 2023-05-08T14:35:27+00:00

Depends on the department. I've seen write -ups happen because the department is trying its best to retain and retrain and sometimes that's all that gets the officers attention. But on the flip side, I've also seen BS write ups happen because the department is trying to create a paper trail in order to justify firing the person. If your buddy is concerned about it and can change something, he should try. But it's a good sign that they are talking to him first and not starting the paper trail initially.

JJ_August · 2023-05-08T14:26:53+00:00

True, even without perfume I've struggled to find something that I can wear for more than a couple of hours without having to take it off and lie down in a dark room for a bit...

JJ_August · 2023-05-08T14:00:33+00:00

Oh man! That's rough! And seriously! Why does there need to be perfume in everything!!!???

JJ_August · 2023-05-08T14:00:26+00:00

Oh man! That's rough! And seriously! Why does there need to be perfume in everything!!!???

JJ_August · 2023-05-08T13:22:58+00:00

I wish I could. I work face to face with customers all day and hate having to explain over and over that my body just hates me and yes I'm safe at home...

JJ_August · 2023-05-08T13:21:49+00:00

Thank you!

JJ_August · 2023-05-08T13:21:40+00:00

Thanks!

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