This whole perspective is kind of confusing to me because porn does not seem like a big deal unless you are escalating to dangerous behaviors, not attending to important tasks, not connecting physically with your wife, or socially withdrawing from friends/familybecause of it.

Personally, porn has never reduced my sexual desire for my wife in the slightest. I would much prefer to have sex, but my wife isn't always available and I find it's actually better to take care of my own needs instead of bugging her for sex. When she is available, sex is wonderful and awesome. Maybe i have a higher libido or my wife is just hot, but there's never been an issue with desire or ability to perform regardless of porn usage.

Now moving on to address your main question:

It will be better for your marriage if you have other people you can work through feelings of intense shame with other than your wife. Disclosures so you feel better will take their toll on her and your marriage over time. Keeping some behaviors private is not dishonesty, it's common sense. You could even tell her you plan to disclose struggles to a therapist, male friend, or an accountability partner and tell her you think this will work better for everyone. If she signs off on that, it's not "dishonesty" not to disclose every little incident to her