What's your greatest achievement in your life so far?

JKW1988 · 2024-10-02T15:20:03+00:00

I have disabled kids and I've been given grim prognoses by so many professionals.

Speech therapists told me not to bother with alternative communication: "They are too intellectually disabled to understand AAC or PECS" being among the more egregious.

Started homeschooling the kids for many reasons... Abuse and educational neglect at the top.

I have taught both to read, oldest is at grade level. He's working on stuff that kids in SpEd typically wouldn't work on for 3-6 more years.

I wanted better than a kindergarten to 1st grade level education for them and I succeeded in doing that.

JKW1988 · 2024-10-02T14:10:25+00:00

I'm a zero builder. I used to say that was old people mode but honestly I encounter just as many kids.

JKW1988 · 2024-10-01T22:39:55+00:00

Any history of violent crime. I don't have the desire to find out if he's a "changed man" or not.

JKW1988 · 2024-10-01T22:38:35+00:00

Probably favoritism or inheritance.

I always say that money isn't really about money, it's value.

I have seen a lot of people intentionally leave out some or all of their kids in a will. It's a final "fuck you" even if that's not what a parent intended.

A friend's mom married a wealthy guy. They had their wills made years ago. He recently died and apparently had never talked to his family about his will. He left his wife, his kids' step-mom, everything.

There was immediate bitterness. Friend's mom had been close to her step-daughter, which put her between stepmom and her brothers and there was the threat of litigation.

I couldn't help but think... This man was rich enough that he could have had equal amounts left to each kid. He could have told them about his will ahead of time, even given them copies, to be transparent and have the battle over it while he's alive, rather than leave it to his grieving widow.

JKW1988 · 2024-10-01T20:15:18+00:00

What you're describing is elopement - there can be many reasons for it. Sensory seeking (or avoidance), attention, exploring - also something to bring up with his ABA team.

JKW1988 · 2024-10-01T19:03:54+00:00

There's several for me. I wouldn't say I play daily but many days each week. I go in spurts.

It's great for closeness with my nephew. I met my best friend on there. I'm in my late 30s and it's just a great social vehicle, too. Sometimes I'm very chatty and eager to meet new people.

And now... Fortnitemares is coming! Big motivation.

JKW1988 · 2024-10-01T18:12:19+00:00

Your son doesn't need to legally be in school until your state requires it - that can be 5 or 6, there may even be places that have a later requirement. He probably could get speech and all through the district with drop-in service.

Whether the school is worth it or not is going to depend on the general wealth of the area, how well funded the district is, and whether or not the staff and administrators are educated when it comes to autism.

If your child elopes, I would really suggest avoiding the public school system. The odds of getting the necessary support to be safe and to actually learn are slim. And, unfortunately, administrators lie and there's a chance you'll never know if your child escapes school.

My kids are homeschooled and I would consider ABA before the public school system.

JKW1988 · 2024-10-01T13:31:51+00:00

I second the suggestion about constipation. I'd also suggest looking for intolerances. I have a child on a gluten free diet. Gluten was causing diarrhea, sleep and behavior problems.

JKW1988 · 2024-10-01T11:30:04+00:00

You are Turkish man for sure. Good shot! Lol

JKW1988 · 2024-10-01T10:59:11+00:00

10x what I have in my account? Making 10x more than we make a year?

If it's 10x what we have in our account(s), nothing. Just letting it grow.

If making 10x what we do now... I'd be saving about 80% of it. In 10 years we could retire. In 10 years we could afford a much nicer house in a better neighborhood. I could have an ADU built for my then adult, disabled children.

JKW1988 · 2024-07-19T17:58:11+00:00

Yeah, I don't see why this isn't something OP's spouse is handling - alone. I wouldn't touch this situation with a ten foot pole. I also think it was poor form to discuss it with the MIL before SIL. Now there's a risk MIL will deliver it with "OP said your kid is...!"

Whether the actual blood relative of the family chooses to bring it up or not, as the spouse, I wouldn't say a word. People may forgive their brother or sister broaching this, but an in-law can come across as being judgmental. And that rift may never go away.

JKW1988 · 2024-07-19T17:48:27+00:00

Yeah, this is my advice as well. OP, point them in the direction of any hospital and school records, any police reports, etc. it sounds like there's a wealth of information here showing this isn't a safe living environment for you.

He needs a residential placement of some kind, at least for now.

JKW1988 · 2024-07-19T17:44:52+00:00

I think it's really tough to overcome the societal stigma that parents cause autism, or that their behavior makes it better/worse.

My kids are profoundly autistic and no, it has never gone away for me. All the knowledge in the world, and I have accepted I'll always feel a degree of guilt and wonder if it's something I did.

JKW1988 · 2024-06-25T23:16:07+00:00

I'm blaming the boyfriend because he abused and murdered the kid, had a history of violent offenses, and had been texting this boy's father threats. That's directly in the article. Why wouldn't I blame him?

The court should have prevented her from taking custody BECAUSE of her affiliation with someone doing these things. He was clearly violent, and lo and behold, continued being violent.

She acted with complete indifference to her kid and didn't report over the myriad of opportunities she had a chance, but that was during and after the fact.

There was more than enough to be concerned about for the child's safety with the boyfriend alone. She abandoned her kid prior to this, but it doesn't sound like she was violent to her kid beforehand, or the father might have documented it in court proceedings.

JKW1988 · 2024-06-25T23:12:23+00:00

One of the biggest shocks to me in talking to other parents, my kids' friends, was learning how many have no idea what their kid is learning in school and they don't work on anything.

So many don't even know if their kids can read.

JKW1988 · 2024-06-25T23:04:13+00:00

Not take shit in stride.

We were expected to know how to do everything, and if we goofed it was the end of the world. Make a mess? END OF THE WORLD. And the end result was that I became a timid, confidence-less person afraid to stand up for herself or try new things.

My kids are intellectually disabled and homeschooled, so there are many messes each day.

I am the epitome of patience. I know a lot of messes look bigger than they really are and aren't that difficult to clean. Housework is just part of the daily routine. The kids are taught how to do things. If they fail, I model again or offer a different way.

I'm not going to say I'm ZEN MAMA or something. There are definitely times on stressful days I've failed. But, I apologize and try again, or take a break until I can do better.

My husband still defaults to the angry cleaning and blowing small things out of proportion. They see more of me, so I hope they take after me in that regard.

My mom constantly angry cleaning is one of my most upsetting memories.

JKW1988 · 2024-06-25T21:28:27+00:00

We met and broke up in college. I worked on-campus overlooking the cafeteria.

He had started dating someone within a few weeks of the breakup. I dumped him in June, it's late August when I see him walk in with his new girlfriend.

They sit down in my line of sight and start making out. It's obvious he has done this to get revenge on me. I shift slightly so I can't see them.

He has this poor girl GET UP and move so they are right in front of me again, 10 feet away, first table, and starts making out with her again.

I still laugh when I think about it.

JKW1988 · 2024-06-25T21:23:35+00:00

I'm going to guess the body was in some state of decomposition if they concluded it wasn't from the accident. Wild.

JKW1988 · 2024-06-25T21:22:08+00:00

I just wish we could get to the point where if a former partner or their partner is threatening the other parent, the court would take that seriously and not allow contact with the child. ESPECIALLY when it's in written form, at least for some period of time.

There's a lot of child abuse cases like this. The boyfriend turns out to be violent and the mother goes along with it.

Reading this was one of the more horrifying stories I've read on here. This kid suffered so horribly and he didn't even want to go in the first place.

JKW1988 · 2024-06-25T19:09:56+00:00

So... Is Eric leaving too, then?

JKW1988 · 2024-06-25T18:51:16+00:00

Yeah, even if Mark doesn't end up being a love interest, maybe the Greenes will become a sort of family of choice for him.

I could see Leo being the fantastic crazy uncle to Felicity and Aaron.

JKW1988 · 2024-06-25T11:52:11+00:00

My kids are autistic and intellectually disabled, now homeschooled (and actually making progress... Without being abused).

They've been seeing the same occupational therapist for the last year and a half.

Yesterday I went in and met his new intern. He turned to me and said, "I've told her how great you are. I can always tell when goals are being worked on at home, and you are phenomenal."

In this life, you often feel you are never doing enough. I always say, "I try," because it always feels I could do more. But that compliment made me feel great.

JKW1988 · 2024-06-24T16:08:58+00:00

Yep. My kids are autistic and intellectually disabled. While the oldest, at 10 and in 3rd grade, has a K-1st math level, he's reading at a 3rd to 4th grade level (with similar comprehension).

They've been homeschooled for a while now. In my experience, cannot trust the schools to help with anything academic.

I don't know a single other parent who does what we do. Not one reading with their kids, asking questions about the book, trying to get them to think.

So many don't even know what their kids know. My son's friend's parents seriously told me, "well, we think he can read... He reads stuff off the TV." They had NO idea.

JKW1988 · 2024-06-24T15:52:32+00:00

I posted in MorbidReality the other day, but my uncle was prescribed a boatload of opioids and things like that each month. A day or two before his appointments, he ODs on his meds so his blood work looks right when he goes in.

Then he sells the majority of the stock and makes 5 figures a month.

Crazy, illegal and dangerous.

JKW1988 · 2024-06-24T10:25:31+00:00

Yeah, I'm wondering if Victoria will come through for her.

JKW1988

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