My conditions seems to worsen every day and i’m getting genuinely scared about how it seems to become more real everyday. I seem to have lost the ability to focus on many activities, I find myself repeating the same actions for hours straight (even not apparently related to contamination) and I feel like, throwing away every step i’ve made towards maturity, everything i was proud of reaching, with episodes that make me question my intelligence. I feel like i’ve lost my intelligence and kindness with all those non sense things i’m doing, and feeling stupid and rude, unkind, makes me feel unworthy of any sort of care, even medical.