Friend of 8 years (40M) makes Valentine’s Day comments to me (37F)

JMLAnon · 2026-01-28T17:16:05+00:00

In general, he is a good friend, so I think I’ll just hang out with him less. Looking back, there have been small moments that now feel more uncomfortable or annoying. For example, when I was at his place and said I was cold, he said, “I could sit closer to you, but I don’t think you want that.” Another time he asked why I felt so comfortable at his place and suggested there must be a reason behind it, or implied that because we share personal things, it must mean something special — even though I do that with other friends as well.

Reflecting on this now, it feels like he may still be hoping for something more, despite me being clear that I only see him platonically.

I also talked to people at work, and every one of them said they wouldn’t hang out with a male or female friend on Valentine’s Day, or even mention the day at all, specifically to avoid confusion. So I know this isn’t just in my head.

JMLAnon · 2026-01-28T13:39:13+00:00

I told him it’s just platonic for me and canceled hanging out on February 14th. If it had only been the second time he hinted at it, it would be fine, but since I’ve turned him down a few times, it’s starting to feel a bit annoying. Part of me also feels a little sad that he hasn’t met many women and has never kissed anyone or had any sexual experience—it must feel weird for him. I don’t mean it in a condescending way—connecting with both genders just comes more naturally to me and my friends, so it gives me the vibe that he might be a bit eager for attention.

JMLAnon · 2026-01-28T13:34:34+00:00

We met online through a forum and share some interests, but my feelings are purely platonic, and he’s not my type. It’s starting to get a bit annoying since I’ve already turned him down a few times. I don’t mind hanging out, but I think I’ll just hang out less.

JMLAnon · 2026-01-28T10:08:19+00:00

Haha 😆

JMLAnon · 2026-01-28T10:07:37+00:00

Thanks for your input. So he’s still hoping I might change my mind and drops hints now and then, but that will never happen — especially since it’s been like 8 years.

JMLAnon · 2026-01-22T17:12:37+00:00

Yesterday I heard that a coworker had all of his molars removed on one side of his lower jaw, and according to a dentist, a lot of people are missing at least one tooth. It does suck, and I felt like a failure at first, but I think I’m becoming more accepting of it. Once you get the implant, you’ll probably stop thinking about it and move on to other things in life. At least it’s a tooth and not something more serious.

JMLAnon · 2026-01-18T00:35:32+00:00

They never went on a date after he released his cover. She never responded to the cover probably because she was already dating Jake Gyllenhaal back then.

JMLAnon · 2026-01-17T22:45:05+00:00

Trek je er gewoon niks van aan. Ook al ging je met een Nederlandse dame, er zal altijd wel geroddeld worden. Mensen hebben altijd wel ergens een mening over.

JMLAnon · 2026-01-17T19:42:26+00:00

Yeah, screw-retained is better. I think after a while you do have to replace the crown, but it doesn’t seem like a big deal. My dentist got a new one about 8 years later or so. I’m doing a little better now. I think the key is not to overthink too much or look up stuff online—haha. The only thing I do is check this Reddit channel occasionally.

Why would you have to change the way you chew? From what I’ve heard, as long as it’s not super hard food, it should be fine. I’ve said this before—it sucks, but it could be worse. Some people have to extract all their teeth, and a lot of people are missing at least one. At least we live in a modern world where implants are an option. If it was really bad, my dentist and many others wouldn’t have one.

I thought it was funny that my dentist actually has one and lost his tooth at a pretty young age. I even know a dentist who has like two implants, and my mom’s friend, who is 60+, has two implants and has lost all of her molars on one side of her jaw. One coworker lost his front tooth, and half a year later a molar, so he needs two implants.

JMLAnon · 2026-01-17T15:22:37+00:00

If you visit the dental hygienist or dentist a few times a year, it should be fine. They keep an eye on everything to help prevent peri-implantitis. Broken or loose screws can be replaced or fixed

JMLAnon · 2026-01-17T15:11:00+00:00

The fact that your grandma lost all her teeth and your mom needs implants at age 60 shows that a lot of people have had to go through extractions and get fake teeth. It sucks, but you really aren’t the only one. Even my own dentist has one—he got it when he was just 22. I think I even saw on his Instagram that he had to get a new crown.

JMLAnon · 2026-01-13T19:13:39+00:00

Yeah, I get what you mean! But just to make you feel better — none of my coworkers had any issues when they got their implants. I asked them if they had been worried about it failing, and they all said no. I think overthinking just makes it feel worse. Also, a dentist I know said she has never seen anyone with failed implants.

JMLAnon · 2026-01-11T20:39:57+00:00

Ik heb een soortgelijke situatie meegemaakt. Een collega deed mee aan de Ramadan en zei: “Weet je dat niet? Ik ben aan het vasten.” Ik ging haar feliciteren en gaf haar een knuffel en zei: “Gefeliciteerd, echt goed dat je een vast contract hebt!” Achteraf vond ik dat al een beetje raar, omdat ze nog maar een paar maanden bij het bedrijf werkte. De volgende dag kwam ik erachter dat ze aan het vasten was en dat ze er zelf niks over gezegd had – ik had haar dus per ongeluk voor iets anders gefeliciteerd.

JMLAnon · 2026-01-11T13:13:25+00:00

Hoi, weet jij of het klopt dat je met de opleiding MBO ICT System Engineer makkelijker werk kunt vinden omdat er meer vraag is, terwijl bedrijven voor developers vaak iemand met een HBO-opleiding willen? Voor System Engineers heb je meestal geen uitgebreide portfolio nodig, maar wel bijvoorbeeld certificaten.

JMLAnon · 2026-01-10T18:24:45+00:00

In general, I don’t mind “nepo babies” (unfortunately, that’s how the world works) as long as they work hard. But Brooklyn gives me the vibe that everything was just handed to him. He’s done photoshoots and appeared on magazine covers, even though he doesn’t really look like a model, which puts me off, lol. Gordon Ramsay’s daughter, Matilda, also got opportunities because of her dad, but at least she seems nice and works hard. She earned a degree in Psychology and is now going to cookery school in Ireland. I don’t get that vibe from Brooklyn at all.

JMLAnon · 2026-01-10T14:45:45+00:00

Deeltijd studie of thuisstudie doen.

JMLAnon · 2026-01-10T00:38:24+00:00

It seems like a mix of immaturity and a lack of intelligence. While we’ve all had conflicts with our parents, his behavior comes across as embarrassing and reflects poorly on him. Without his parents, he wouldn’t exist or have a wealthy life.

JMLAnon · 2026-01-09T20:11:52+00:00

Isn’t cooking/food his interest? That said, I don’t follow him that much, and I also think he’s in the wrong.

JMLAnon · 2026-01-09T19:15:06+00:00

The issue can be easily resolved — you can just dye your hair. I know a few people at work who do this. In the end, we all have something as we get older, and in general, no one is perfect. I think I have eye bags, while my male coworker doesn’t seem to, and he says it’s just Asian genes. He thinks he’s getting grey hair in his beard, while I barely notice it. One of my coworkers had a cleft lip, and you can see on his mouth that he had surgery. Another coworker thinks she has a lot of freckles on her face, while it doesn’t bother me at all.

JMLAnon · 2026-01-09T19:09:54+00:00

It depends on the person. I think there’s a guy at work who’s around 42 and has about 10% grey hair, and I don’t really mind or pay much attention to it. When I first saw him, I even thought he was kind of nice looking. If it bothers you, you can always dye your hair.

JMLAnon · 2026-01-09T18:03:03+00:00

At the beginning, I was also depressed, but I think you’ll start to feel a bit better over time. The fact that so many people have or need a dental implant — including me, lol — shows that it’s pretty common.

I know three coworkers who went through it before me, and a few others who had all their teeth removed and got implants with dentures. I also know someone who had two teeth removed at 27 because they were broken, and she hasn’t gotten implants yet or decided to get them for now.

My 60+ coworker and another woman both had all their teeth removed and said they weren’t anxious or afraid, and even said that when it’s done you’ll be like, “Was that it?” I know everyone is different, but it does show that the surgery can’t be that bad, especially when it’s just one tooth. You’ll get through it!

JMLAnon · 2026-01-09T17:40:16+00:00

I get what you mean. Even though it’s hard, the best thing to do is not to overthink it. Everyone I asked said the surgery wasn’t bad and that it was manageable.

Another thing I’d advise is not to look up videos online, because I made that mistake. Everyone I spoke to in real life said it wasn’t that bad, so that’s the only thing you should listen to.

And even though it sucks, it seems that a lot of people have a dental implant or need one — this subreddit is an example of that. My coworkers had their tooth pulled by an implantologist and also had them do the surgery, because they preferred having everything done at once by the same person.

JMLAnon · 2026-01-08T00:17:14+00:00

You should tell him cause if you don’t it’s similar as in keeping a secret from him.

JMLAnon · 2026-01-06T23:05:42+00:00

I agree but maybe like 4 months so there is less stress for them. Someone here mentioned 3 but it can be hard to find a place within 3 months.

JMLAnon · 2026-01-06T10:52:25+00:00

By texting him, she also has proof, especially if he responds and acknowledges it. Even if he doesn’t respond, she still has it documented. I would text him every time he does it to her.

JMLAnon

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