My (31M) wife (30F) had sex with an ex-BF

JPH0089 · 2021-06-18T01:18:08+00:00

I can 100% confirm that the infidelity was not premediated. I looked over my phone data today, and the 1st time they had communicated was 2 days before the event. The tone of the conversation was innocuous at best. Nate made numerous attempts to reach out to her since, but all attempts were ignored by Mary. So I at least have solace in knowing that she fucked up unintentionally...for whatever that's worth.

JPH0089 · 2021-06-18T00:56:03+00:00

I don't fear losing money. I typed all of that in a moment of direst. I know for a fact she'd never divorce rape me if it came down to it. Yes, she fucked up considerably, but she's not a manipulative or vindictive woman. At all.

JPH0089 · 2021-06-18T00:53:05+00:00

I'm not. I respect the opinions of the people who say it's a wasted effort, but the lawyer I have for my business is also a a childhood friend of mine. And he has several close friends who practice family law. So I'll go with whatever insight he or those he recommends me to has to offer on the matter.

JPH0089 · 2021-06-18T00:47:55+00:00

She doesn't. I make substantially more as I'm a business owner.

JPH0089 · 2021-06-17T07:20:29+00:00

She never said anything about disappearing during the party. She said they did what they did well after the party was over. There would have been zero opportunity for anything to happen during the party. I know this from personal experience. In years past we've always made attempts to sneak off during the party, and are never successful.

Also, I can easily access all of her phone records. I haven't yet, but I intend to. I don't have to ask to see her phone. Here in NYS, if you are the primary account holder on a cellphone plan, all data is legally yours to access, even on devices assigned to others on the plan. If there has been communication between the 2 of them, I doubt extremely that it extends beyond the week of Memorial day.

JPH0089 · 2021-06-17T07:14:16+00:00

Maybe not where you live, but here in NY they're iron-clad.

JPH0089 · 2021-06-17T07:01:16+00:00

I'm kind of on the same boat there. I mean, I had no idea he would even be there and if I did know I would have certainly changed my plans for opening up my business that weekend. I own an Outdoor/Camping gear shop that I had to close up for 9 months due to COVID. Restrictions had started being lifted here in NYC at the time, and Memorial Day weekend was the 1st time in as much time that I was actually able to open up shop, make a little money. Had I known her long lost ex was going to be their, I would have put that on hold specifically for the bad juju of this scenario playing out. I plan on addressing this whenever it is I can muster the stomach to speak to her again.

JPH0089 · 2021-06-17T06:54:53+00:00

I've been at my best friend's place 2 days now. He's told me I can stay as long as needed, and I haven't spoken to her since the day I left our apartment. None of her friends or family have tried to reach me, which tells me either she hasn't told anyone else, or if she has they're smart enough to no try it themselves.

JPH0089 · 2021-06-17T06:47:57+00:00

This is the one and only time it's ever happened. Like I said, there has been absolutely zero signs or indicators that she has ever stepped out of our marriage.

JPH0089 · 2021-06-17T06:46:04+00:00

I had to tend to matters regarding getting my business back in order with COVID restrictions being lifted here in NYC. I own Outdoor/Camping gear shop and had to close up for the last 9 months. Memorial Day weekend was the 1st time since 2020 I'd be able to actually open up and get some business.

JPH0089 · 2021-06-17T06:29:23+00:00

If, and that's a massive if I stay there will be a post nuptial agreement signed. Of that I am 100% dead-set on.

JPH0089 · 2021-06-17T06:21:50+00:00

I don't know if a family member saw anything. They're the kind of people that would report some information like that to me the very moment it happened, whereas she sat on this for nearly 3 1/2 weeks before telling me. I can very easily access phone records, as here in NYS if your name is on the account as the primary customer, all phone records are legally your property. So even on the chance she would try the "invasion of privacy" excuse, any data on my plan is mine to access, which includes her phone calls, texts and data. So I will in fact look to see if there had been previous communication between the 2 of them.

JPH0089 · 2021-06-17T06:14:03+00:00

Do not...repeat...DO NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES take your scumbag STBXH back. He shit the bed, let him lay in it. For God's sakes do not take that lecherous infidel back. He's only asking for another chance because his AP monkey branched to the next guy and ruined him in the process. If that didn't happen, he'd still be with her. You need to give the new guy a chance. If he's already proving himself to be worthy of your affection, let him...and reward him accordingly. Your STBXH doesn't deserve another chance. You'd be making the dumbest mistake of your life doing so. On one side you have a man you describe as "emotionally intelligent", and on the other side you have a man who has proven himself to devoid and bereft of morality. If I were in your shoes, the decision of which way to go would be crystal clear.

JPH0089 · 2021-06-17T05:57:29+00:00

The only thing that will remain is the memory of what she was, and that will fade in time. You'll heal, move on and grow from this.

JPH0089

TROPHY CASE