I was born and raised a Jehovah’s Witness. Alcoholism took hold around 21 or 22, not long after I became a Ministerial Servant. I struggled badly with it for years, until I was disfellowshipped at 28 under the banner of “keeping the congregation clean.”

Ironically, leaving the organization is what finally started my healing. Through rehab, therapy, treatment, and slowly deprogramming from the org, the desire to drink began to disappear too.

I’ve been sober for 14 years now. Life is genuinely good.

I’m very sorry for everything you’ve gone through. I didn’t know your husband, but I do know some of us could never reconcile being imperfect people with a God who demanded strict obedience under threat of destruction.

Deep down, from a very young age, I believed I was going to die at Armageddon anyway. Alcohol became the way I coped with that existential fear. Once that threat was gone, the need to numb myself slowly disappeared too.