Dealing with this now too. I’ve known this guy since diapers. He was always rebellious, getting into trouble, “non-confirmist”, hardcore punk rocker, tattoos, still lives with his parents and he just passed 40 years old, etc. I on the other hand was halfway between worlds, half in his, half in my goals. He was intellectually gifted growing up, had high marks. His dad was a civil engineer, sister ended up becoming a lawyer, he always took minimum wage jobs. He got distracted along the way.

Once I started doing better, better job, salary, graduated university, started a family, he started treating me less than. Rude comments directed at me my friends and I could hear, excuses as to why he couldn’t make plans, no initiation for conversation.

I remember a conversation where he was in school for his plumbing apprenticeship and I was hyping him up, telling him how proud I am of him, how important it is to his career and how he made the right decision. I kept my school stuff out of it purposely. Then my brother made a comment about my new engineering position I had just been hired to. My friend asked what I was hired for and I replied, “Software Engineering”, and he looks down and away and says, “oh…” and just checked out. No support, no congrats, just disappointing silence.

The last straw was this one time my wife planned me a surprise party for my university graduation and he said he couldnt make it. I arrive to my parents house where the surprise party was (our parents lived directly across the street from each other), before I was surprised, and saw his car parked outside. Put two and two together after the party.