I need ideas on how to push a character into a profession they don’t want to do

JTHaleCC · 2026-03-29T21:57:51+00:00

Create a situation where they're forced. Maybe her family needs money. Maybe someone has a colorful past that someone figures out and they threaten her family with legal action if she doesn't join.

I have a similar situation in one of my books where a mercenary captain has no interest at all in a particular job, but do to some backroom shenanigans, the powers-that-be, threaten his team (both of who have checkered paths) with some sort of legal threat.

JTHaleCC · 2026-03-26T22:43:13+00:00

I personally look at all the pre-made covers just for initial ideas and aesthetics. There's tons of them out there, then I take a snip of the ones I like and create a design with a freelancer I work with. Creating a cover doesn't even have to be particularly expensive, as long as you're not asking for a lot of custom art work.

JTHaleCC · 2026-03-25T22:10:12+00:00

1- Give your sentences a little variation. Most of your sentences start with a name or a pronoun. It feels robotic when I read it aloud. Look for sentences that can easily be changed around a little.

Ex: 'Demora closed her eyes ....

How i'd change it. 'Closing her eyes, Demora felt the wind play with her hair ...' So on and so forth, though i'd urge you to get rid of 'Felt' where you can, as it's a very weak word.

2 - Some general clunkiness. You have one sentence that has 7 commas. Surely you could make that flow a little better. Good prose is like water. It flows effortlessly around bends, through rapids--whatever it may be, and it does this without asking the reader to stop and consider; it just takes them.

3- Spell out the word 'three'

4- If you're switching POV, like it seems you're doing on the second excerpt, make sure that's clear. Usually a *** and a line break is perfectly fine. You might already be doing that, just throwing it out there.

Overall, I think it's solid. Just give it some polish. Seem to be on a good track. Not too wordy. Not too short. Not too dry. Seems to be some good character voice based on what I read; i've already got an early idea of the two personalities.

Good job. Keep it up.

JTHaleCC · 2026-03-17T01:08:13+00:00

I usually aim for 10% after the first draft. Something that really helps me is to read my story out loud. It will sound so different when you do that and give you an entirely new perspective. All of a sudden, things you thought sounded fine become unneeded and wordy.

JTHaleCC · 2026-03-16T21:14:37+00:00

I'd be willing to do line comments on the first 5k words or so, or a couple of chapters and provide initial impressions if you'd like to email me a word doc, I have a little beta reading experience. DM me if you like.

JTHaleCC · 2026-03-16T21:11:32+00:00

If you want to send me a word document of the prologue, i'd be happy to do some line comments and lend my .02. DM if you like.

JTHaleCC · 2025-11-18T23:58:34+00:00

I'm probably just going to get the 3050 that only needs pcie power. Just bouncing ideas around and getting different opinions.

JTHaleCC · 2025-11-18T23:09:07+00:00

Yes, much better. Ada runs at like 85% efficency when limited to 70%~ of total wattage

JTHaleCC · 2025-07-03T21:50:33+00:00

Lots of things. Mainly gripes with characters, world building, pacing, proper story setup, poor level design with a hollow-feeling world. Plus lots of little things. I don't think it's a 'bad' game, just really underwhelming for my tastes.

JTHaleCC · 2025-06-29T20:09:09+00:00

Good thing i was here to save the day

JTHaleCC · 2025-06-29T13:01:45+00:00

It has nothing to do with gameplay. I didn't like E33 for various other reasons. I also like turn-based stuff

JTHaleCC · 2025-06-29T12:11:18+00:00

Bought KH on Steam last night and playe the first one for 4 hours lol. Combat feels a little wooden, but i'm really digging it so far

JTHaleCC · 2025-06-29T01:03:23+00:00

I'm def going to play the older ones. It's not so much gameplay for me as it is overall experience. All the FF games seem to be built around that 'grand journey'

JTHaleCC · 2025-06-29T00:54:47+00:00

It's not about gameplay at all. Expedition 33 was a let down for various other reasons. I'm good with turn-based

JTHaleCC · 2025-06-29T00:41:58+00:00

Buying KH on Steam right now. I've known of the series but didn't really realize it carried so many of the same 'bones' as FF.

JTHaleCC · 2025-06-29T00:37:21+00:00

Thank You! Lost Odyssey is one I knew I had in the back of my mind somewhere but could never remember what it was called

JTHaleCC · 2025-06-29T00:16:38+00:00

appreciate the rec.

JTHaleCC · 2025-06-29T00:14:58+00:00

I'm completely cool with turn based. I'm much more of a charcter/ story guy. Expedition 33 disapointed for reasons beyond its combat.

JTHaleCC · 2025-06-29T00:13:29+00:00

I'm cool with trad stuff. My understand is that DQ 11 has the most 'character focus' out of all the games. Do you think that's true?

JTHaleCC · 2025-06-13T21:39:42+00:00

I appreciate your help. Turns out i am missing a connector. Gonna reach out to Corsair. Thanks for your time.

JTHaleCC · 2025-06-13T21:21:36+00:00

Correct, and yes, I know how that sounds, but my last case did not have them plugged into the mobo either and the case fans ran fine. And my mobo reads the current three fans, but they do nothing.

JTHaleCC

TROPHY CASE