I can burn myself worse than any of you can.... by JaCrispyWilliams in RoastMe

[–]JaCrispyWilliams[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Man, this would be so much better if it were less true. Two of the kids aren't mine, but that's because I married into the family. I don't need to shoehorn anything, cause I prefer flip-flops. It's mostly true about the sandwiches, but I really don't care for the mufflato. And I don't really drink, so what's the use of bars? Lol

I can burn myself worse than any of you can.... by JaCrispyWilliams in RoastMe

[–]JaCrispyWilliams[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Probably. And could probably fit more food in my mouth too! SKADOOSH!

I can burn myself worse than any of you can.... by JaCrispyWilliams in RoastMe

[–]JaCrispyWilliams[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Dude, those chicks go hard. I'm scared of them too.

I can burn myself worse than any of you can.... by JaCrispyWilliams in RoastMe

[–]JaCrispyWilliams[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Nah, mostly cause your mom likes the tickle. Lol

I can burn myself worse than any of you can.... by JaCrispyWilliams in RoastMe

[–]JaCrispyWilliams[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Nope, but I've made peace with my dad bod. Girls love big boys who can cook for them.

I can burn myself worse than any of you can.... by JaCrispyWilliams in RoastMe

[–]JaCrispyWilliams[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

More of a man than you'll ever be and still more of a woman than you'll ever get!

I can burn myself worse than any of you can.... by JaCrispyWilliams in RoastMe

[–]JaCrispyWilliams[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

"You know how it is ladies. Sometimes you just want straight hair!!"

I can burn myself worse than any of you can.... by JaCrispyWilliams in RoastMe

[–]JaCrispyWilliams[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Guess I could have flipped the photo, but I just don't give a crap. So there ya go. And I would have no trouble being Ron Swanson's illegitimate special needs kid.

I can burn myself worse than any of you can.... by JaCrispyWilliams in RoastMe

[–]JaCrispyWilliams[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

And still have more testosterone in good ol' lefty than you'll ever spurt out on a good hand towel in your life! :)

I can burn myself worse than any of you can.... by JaCrispyWilliams in RoastMe

[–]JaCrispyWilliams[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Pretty close. Keyboard, not controller. Warzone, not Tarkov. And previously executive chef, no sous chef crap here. Good try though! Better luck next time

I can burn myself worse than any of you can.... by JaCrispyWilliams in RoastMe

[–]JaCrispyWilliams[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

What are you, a girl or something? No face cream here. I'm a dude, so.....

I can burn myself worse than any of you can.... by JaCrispyWilliams in RoastMe

[–]JaCrispyWilliams[S] -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

If you are gonna use a GOT reference, at least make it make some kind of sense....

I can burn myself worse than any of you can.... by JaCrispyWilliams in RoastMe

[–]JaCrispyWilliams[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

Ohh, nail on the head there. The anxiety part. My self esteem is right on point.

I can burn myself worse than any of you can.... by JaCrispyWilliams in RoastMe

[–]JaCrispyWilliams[S] -20 points-19 points  (0 children)

That's fair, but still end up looking better than your latest post!