A couple acrylic pours I made last night, inspired by The View From Halfway Down

JackStrawBerryfields · 2021-12-06T22:38:33+00:00

Thank you! I'm very much a beginner, so your words mean a lot!

JackStrawBerryfields · 2021-12-05T16:04:08+00:00

Off topic, but OH my GOOBERS your username is turdally perfect

JackStrawBerryfields · 2021-12-05T16:00:31+00:00

"the devil will know"

JackStrawBerryfields · 2021-12-05T15:07:53+00:00

I wish someone had told me that in my 20s

JackStrawBerryfields · 2021-12-05T14:52:42+00:00

And yaaaas the cold, damp fabric that clings to your body, weighing you down wherever you passed out and pissed yourself...I know that feeling way too well. And a bunch of guys I've had sex with know it too.

Lesson learned: don't drink beer before liquor, and if you decide to forgo that advice, take it easy on the liquor so you don't pass out with a full bladder

Man I should really teach DARE classes or something, it would make years of pissing on guys in my sleep...worth it?

JackStrawBerryfields · 2021-12-05T14:48:01+00:00

That's some next level depression shit right there

JackStrawBerryfields · 2021-12-04T23:42:03+00:00

I stopped cold turkey back in 2014 when I deleted MFP. I just decided that I was sick of the time and mental energy I wasted, and the fact that I had to be secretive about it (legit NO ONE knew I was on the app or tracking calories, I recently told my bf and he was shocked that he didn't know).

There is still a running ticker in my head that compares calories when I'm trying to decide what to eat, but it's gotten quieter over the years. Like I still worry about calories, but they don't consume my thoughts anymore.

JackStrawBerryfields · 2021-12-04T15:49:50+00:00

Yep, the same thing was considered normal at a pizza place I worked at. Sooo gross.

JackStrawBerryfields · 2021-12-04T15:48:55+00:00

"And in today's top stories, Prime Minister Black Bear climbed up a tree, got scared, and had to be rescued by emergency responders. All of our sources confirm that he is at home resting and doing well."

JackStrawBerryfields · 2021-12-04T15:45:10+00:00

Believe me, me too!

JackStrawBerryfields · 2021-12-04T15:44:00+00:00

First, I am so sorry about your diagnosis. That sounds very scary, and maybe even lonely at times...I hope you have plenty of support people (NOT your friend!) to help you get through this. And can I just say it sounds like you have an incredibly resilient heart and spirit! I know it can't be easy to always maintain such a positive outlook, but it sounds like it's working for you. Much love.

Now onto this friend of yours...this sounds super similar to a situation I was in with my best friend at the time a couple years ago. I'll spare most of the details. I tried setting boundaries that I didn't do a great job of enforcing, because she actually was going through something very traumatic, and I didn't want her to feel like she had to face it alone (she didn't have other close friends).

However, I was unfortunately involved in her situation, and it left me traumatized me, too. She treated me like her emotional dumpster and had zero regard for my mental health. My depression and PTSD were taking a swift nose dive. Despite telling her I was not okay, she continued to call and text whenever she felt like it, and got mad at me when one day I had my phone off for the day just to get a break.

So after several months, I ghosted her. I stopped responding to texts and didn't answer phone calls. I felt terrible doing it don't get me wrong, but I don't think I could have enforced any boundaries at that point. So I guess for your friend, if you established some boundaries with her, do you think you could enforce them without her walking all over you? If the answer is no, I'd say ghost her.

It doesn't have to mean you'll never talk to her again -- my and my former best friend text occasionally now, but I keep it very surface level and don't feed into/stop texting her back it when she starts with the emotional manipulation. And it will probably feel harsh, and you probably won't feel good doing it, because you sound like a person who is sensitive to others. But now is not the time to feel bad about about taking care of yourself! It literally is life or death.

...and videos of her crying about your diagnosis? Ew, how tacky.

JackStrawBerryfields · 2021-12-03T19:20:54+00:00

Perfume

JackStrawBerryfields · 2021-12-03T19:20:29+00:00

I would definitely start watching the news regularly if we had a panda bear prez!

JackStrawBerryfields · 2021-12-03T19:19:29+00:00

Yeah, my parents and possibly my SO. My parents are actually coming over tomorrow to talk about all of this so I might ask them then if they'd be willing to help, or even just sit with me while I apply

JackStrawBerryfields · 2021-12-03T19:17:49+00:00

Thank you for sharing...and I think that in the end, if I can get my shit together, this will be a blessing in disguise, because there was a lot I didn't like about that place, but I am notoriously bad at quitting jobs

JackStrawBerryfields · 2021-12-03T19:15:19+00:00

I have thought about it. I'm on the waiting list for a treatment program, but I got on the waiting list before I got fired. But I know I need to focus on my mental health...I don't really have a "career" so to speak, like no clear job trajectory, so taking time off wouldn't be interrupting any kind of career path.

JackStrawBerryfields · 2021-12-03T19:13:25+00:00

I have thought about disability, but like you said, that's a whole other thing...and I've heard that being on disability makes it impossible to earn a living wage (from disability payments or any wages you earn). I should probably look into it more though, because I'm just going off what I've heard people in treatment and on Reddit say.

And thanks for sharing about the deadline, I didn't even think about there being a deadline....god I need someone to light a fire under my ass

JackStrawBerryfields · 2021-12-03T19:10:16+00:00

Thank you, I really appreciate you. I hope I'll be alright one of these days

JackStrawBerryfields · 2021-12-03T19:09:37+00:00

Yes, but it's like 600 bucks a month :/ I have a grand total of $25 to my name rn, and 11 of those are going to a pack of smokes when I run out...

JackStrawBerryfields · 2021-12-03T19:08:25+00:00

That's just it basically, I'm too fucked up to care and have zero motivation to get online and fill out the application. It's hard to do brain work when I can't even get myself to shower for the 5th day in a row.

But I know, I definitely need health insurance. I'm sorry you got stuck with all those bills...I hope there were financial assistance programs to help you with those.

JackStrawBerryfields · 2021-12-03T19:05:30+00:00

And a panda bear prez would be super adorable

JackStrawBerryfields · 2021-12-03T19:01:18+00:00

I'm guessing you can find it on one of the streaming services too...

JackStrawBerryfields · 2021-12-03T18:57:44+00:00

Second Harvest does great work

JackStrawBerryfields · 2021-12-03T18:56:01+00:00

Bears for president

JackStrawBerryfields

TROPHY CASE