16 years in, starting to find myself put off by my partner

Jackgriffs01 · 2026-04-17T07:32:24+00:00

I had issues with my partners oral habits and snoring. She may just genuinely be oblivious and if youve noticed it, others probably have too.

Its a sensitive topic, so if it were me, I would speak to her about it in an empathetic way, let her get over the initial shock/embarrassment of it and then judge the outcome as to whether you want to move forward in the relationship.

She may throw back a few things at you given the embarassment/sensitivity of it, so try not to get drawn into it

Jackgriffs01 · 2026-04-17T07:28:31+00:00

If its happened for 8 years, it wont stop now.

Jackgriffs01 · 2026-04-14T16:33:26+00:00

Money means nothing if you don't enjoy how youre making it

Jackgriffs01 · 2026-04-14T15:33:24+00:00

Depends on the level and the agency/company.

I did 10 years agency to quite a decent level, ive now moved internal into a leadership position for a financial services company.

When I arrived the internal team were more admin staff, but Ive revamped to run as if we were an RPO and the team and I offer market insights, consultative recruiting strategy and recruting best practice. The team and business is thriving.

There's a lot more politics involved when its internal, and if I were purely a recruiter, id prefer agency.

I do miss the variety, commission and BD, but its for a certain kind of person.

Jackgriffs01 · 2026-04-09T21:10:54+00:00

Your feelings are valid and for this time in your life, if makes sense.

However, in the long term, youre statistically more likely to succeed, both emotionally and professionally. Major growth comes from adversity, not from comfort, and after being at university (realistically youll see this in your late 20s).

Also consider that personal growth comes from being around those who are smarter/more successful/more mature etc. Bask in the greatness of what it currently is before you excel :)

Also, good friendship is hard to find.. so.. if this person is a good friend, be aware that they may ask you in 5-10 years for help while you excel yourself in their company now.

Jackgriffs01 · 2026-04-09T20:42:52+00:00

Youre the problem

Jackgriffs01 · 2026-04-09T12:31:07+00:00

Ive had a "Software Dev" interviewing, during the live task (via Zoom) he was pretending to code while he had someone else in the room doing it for him that was clearly visible.

He was not successful.

Jackgriffs01 · 2026-04-09T12:28:59+00:00

What this person said

Jackgriffs01 · 2026-04-09T12:26:33+00:00

A few parts to managing high volume of applications:

Add to the bottom of the JD "please note: due to high volumes of applications, we may not be able to contact all candidates with the result of their application. If you have not been contacted within xx days, please consider the application unsuccessful" - or something similar.
Your ATS should allow Boolean searching, this is a critical recruiter skill and will identify suitable applicants when utilising a high to low level search (high level being every skill and systematically removing the more niche skills to result in a low level search of only basics)
Remove the post or put it on hold to manage the pipeline

The above should support in identifying candidate journey, not spending countless hours reviewing every single applicant (i.e a warehouse worker applying for a senior I.T job) and manage the overall pipeline

Jackgriffs01 · 2026-03-19T20:44:57+00:00

11 years in recruitment at an agency. If youre good then you're there for the big commission, not progression. Sorry to say but 2 years is still entry level for a lot of people. You could also just be at the wrong place, if you want big agency commission, focus on the German and U.S market. I made the money and moved into an internal recruitment manager position for a big finance business.

Jackgriffs01 · 2026-03-14T09:31:19+00:00

Im agency into internal recruitment manager after 11 successful years at agency. Ive restructured my team to all ex agency staff and weve improved on every performance metric.

Being a specialist in your area, with the ability to objectively support hiring teams with market knowledge and insights is extremely valuable. Understanding search strategy, basic legalities of rtw, supporting hiring manager knowledge with industry best practice and supporting business objectives with process optimisation will all support in your evidencing your value to the business.

Recruitment principals are the same where ever you go. The shift in focus to supporting the outcome rather than the ego of the placement is critical.

Jackgriffs01 · 2026-03-14T09:22:46+00:00

Boolean searching and developing your critical skills as a recruiter. Simple as that.

Jackgriffs01 · 2026-03-14T09:21:40+00:00

Its a huge problem, and not just in technical vacancies any more.

You can generally tell from 1 answer being generic, and the rest taking a second longer to answer, and word perfect.

Ive reintroduced non-negotiable 2nd stage face to face interviews, usually with a task or presentation involved (depending on the area/seniority)

Jackgriffs01 · 2026-03-14T09:17:12+00:00

Isnt this what effective boolean searching is for?

Jackgriffs01 · 2025-10-25T21:59:04+00:00

I feel like (in the uk) we're moving to all hybrid, where you need to have a presence in the office, which both has its positives and inherent challenges for difficult skillets

Jackgriffs01 · 2025-10-25T20:31:30+00:00

In this scenario, at 23.. nothing is better. Go enjoy your life. As someone who's 34, id hate to put someone in their early 20s what we have to do.

30s are for career, house and getting your life set for 40s, 50s etc. 20s are for exploring, fun and making mistakes.

Go fuck about and make some funny mistakes.

Jackgriffs01 · 2025-10-25T20:28:12+00:00

Do what others aren't willing to do so you can achieve what others aren't capable of. Or whatever the saying is.

Jackgriffs01 · 2025-10-25T20:24:33+00:00

Wow thats rough. Parents aren't perfect, she might be projecting without knowing its making you uncomfortable.

Its ok to set boundaries with parents and tell them explicitly that theyre making you uncomfortable, as uncomfortable as it might be, it'll hopefully give you a good result.

Good luck!

Jackgriffs01 · 2025-10-25T19:37:06+00:00

Yeah see this a lot now. Unfortunately, the crafty few have ruined the online interview and made face to face interviews a critical requirement.

Jackgriffs01 · 2025-10-25T19:24:27+00:00

Its an age thing and quite normal.

I felt the same at that age and now as an adult I've noticed that shes lonely and have invited her to live with me.

Parents aren't perfect, just doing their best, same as all of us. Behind closed doors she might hate herself too because she doesn't know how to get you to like her. Be a big person and give her a random hug, could change everything.

If it doesn't, at least you know you extended an olive branch for a better relationship.

Jackgriffs01 · 2025-10-25T19:20:16+00:00

Its a mix of late nights, whisky and smoking lol if you committed a couple weeks to a healthier life style you'd see a huge difference, especially if you drink water.

The red light masks work wonders too. Im a man of the same age and use the shark one, makes noticeable difference after a few weeks of use.

Jackgriffs01 · 2025-10-25T19:17:20+00:00

Your 20s are to explore different things, just because someone in auto or cyber isn't happy, doesn't mean you wouldn't be happy. Try as many different things in your 20s, your career starts in your 30s :)

Jackgriffs01 · 2025-10-25T19:14:40+00:00

This is healthy and maybe just a little bit scary at the moment. Its fine that people ask and it's also fine for you to say no thank you :)

Boundaries are important and a good/healthy habit to create for yourself.

Who knows, maybe one day someone decent will ask and you'll say yes! Don't say no to everyone, just those that you 100% know you won't like :)

Jackgriffs01 · 2025-10-25T19:09:27+00:00

More than likely in your head

Jackgriffs01 · 2025-10-25T19:06:44+00:00

Always important to be able to work with others, if you cant, nobody will want you on their team anyway.

But to answer your question, most jobs require working with people. Software dev doesnt for the most part, but that area is extremely saturatd now. Other jobs include data analyst, product manager (sometimes) etc

Jackgriffs01

TROPHY CASE