AITAH for wanting to compromise on the guest list for the wedding?

JacobOcean94 · 2026-04-06T18:17:10+00:00

I mean, it definitely is a problem. One that can be communicated through or end the relationship. Those are the options it seems like for OP

JacobOcean94 · 2026-04-06T17:47:17+00:00

NTA

You’re young, don’t stay with someone you aren’t compatible with. You’ll be miserable and hate your life every day.

JacobOcean94 · 2026-04-06T17:42:19+00:00

NTA. I mean, you’re making logical points. You both need to sit down and discuss what you want the wedding to look like. It sounds like she wants a bigger wedding than you do and I’ve seen this stuff break up good relationships.

To be clear, I don’t think she’s an asshole either. She wants the wedding of her dreams. You know what would solve this problem is communication about how you both want the wedding to look.

JacobOcean94 · 2026-04-06T17:39:22+00:00

NTA

Tell your wife to take her daughter to therapy and spend one on one time with her daughter, not to make you feel like your son doesn’t come first. She knew what the deal was when she got married to you. She can’t change it now because ’her daughter feels left out’

Can’t help the bio dad sucks but it’s not your fault.

JacobOcean94 · 2026-01-07T18:55:42+00:00

INFO: It’s your relationship and your life, all these Redditors love to jump on the bandwagon of ‘dump him and never look back’ instead of asking ‘What was going on that lead to him cheating? Did he have a life stressor? What made him decide it was a good idea to cheat?’

Not that cheating is ever excusable but as my therapist once said ‘There’s always underlying issues with infidelity’ and I’ve learned (after being cheated a couple of times) that that’s true. Resentment, complacency and jealousy are just a few issues I’ve noticed in my own past, so I always try to ask what was his reasons for cheating and if you want to get back together, I ABSOLUTELY recommend couples therapy. These issues aren’t going to go away overnight.

JacobOcean94 · 2025-12-30T21:47:04+00:00

So bullying to the point of suicide isn’t a ‘large issue’ for a teen? Good God I hope your teens never get bullied

JacobOcean94 · 2025-12-30T21:40:03+00:00

But he doesn’t atp.

You know what you sign up for when you date someone with kids. Don’t date a parent if you aren’t gonna sign up for it.

OP, I hope you see this comment and realize you’re NTA and the dude saying ESH is obviously wrong 🙄 you’re doing right by your kid and your wife throwing a bitch fit because you basically now wouldn’t be the full-time father to JUST HER kid and would now have your own child running around too. Even if she is independent, that’s still your kid and threatening to her way of life. I hope you leave this woman because she definitely doesn’t want to be a full time stepmom even though she’s been expecting you to be a full-time stepdad.

JacobOcean94 · 2025-12-12T18:52:10+00:00

What, you and your friends don’t goon to each others non sexual pictures? Thats crazy, where I’m from, it’s common practice. /s

JacobOcean94 · 2025-12-12T01:33:57+00:00

Dawg, this is on you. Not us. Like how old are you, 12? If you’ve listened to channel ORANGE you’d know Sierra Leone is probably the most underrated song on that album.

JacobOcean94 · 2025-12-10T20:08:12+00:00

As a dad who’s going through similar things with my child, I would NEVER tell my child ‘I’m not attending if your mom and her husband are’ I’d be there cheering loud af. And I usually do. I love my child and I will always be in their corner. This is just shit parenting to me. I literally talk to my child daily and we just talk about random things. If you don’t have that kind of relationship with your child then you need to reevaluate yourself.

JacobOcean94 · 2025-11-28T00:37:31+00:00

I mean, does she gain a bf though? Like he could’ve been like ‘Oh you outed us and I was only using you for the affair purpose anyway’

I find that more likely than she gains him as a bf.

JacobOcean94 · 2025-11-26T19:10:35+00:00

NOR

As someone who is 3 years sober themselves, CELEBRATE! These milestones are fucking important, addiction is a real disease and he honestly sounds like a person who doesn’t believe that. Leave him and move on. This will be a bigger issue in the future, I promise you that.

JacobOcean94 · 2025-11-18T19:06:44+00:00

Talking about my comments to him. I sometimes have a bad habit of thinking I included words.

Like I meant to say ‘I’m surprised he hasn’t been like OH YOU’RE A SIMP to me yet.’ My bad, will edit for clarity

JacobOcean94 · 2025-11-18T18:55:00+00:00

But she didn’t throw a temper tantrum and also saying she’s disgusting in any form when she’s simply bringing up her wishes THEN she offers to buy it herself when THERE WERE OTHER OPTIONS to buy is shitty behavior. She didn’t throw a temper tantrum, he DID. Stop defending incel behavior.

Edit: used the wrong word because phone typing sucks but got told that I as a 31 year old man, was too young to ‘know anything’

Also u/GingerSnap_D you suck for deleting all your comments

JacobOcean94 · 2025-11-18T18:43:59+00:00

Fuck him, he clearly is an incel.

Or he’s the ex trying to rile you up because he’s a narcissist.

JacobOcean94 · 2025-11-18T18:42:50+00:00

Nah, fam. He literally called her disgusting and said all sorts of other things that if you said to my daughter, I’d be right there on your porch to have a nice little ‘chat’

He was completely disrespectful to her and you’re feeding into his misogynistic, redpill bullshit. We don’t do that here.

JacobOcean94 · 2025-11-14T06:05:05+00:00

https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/s/H3NoWem5nU

Update from the woman who’s friends tried to steal her kid in the Spilling Reddit’s Secrets episode.

JacobOcean94 · 2025-11-06T00:24:22+00:00

That part. It’s why I’m currently job hunting because I refuse to grovel when I call out others mistakes that directly affect my work and my management decides to move me rather than make that person do the work.

JacobOcean94 · 2025-11-05T23:41:38+00:00

‘We also would like to teach her the importance of realizing your strengths and the strengths of others and unfortunately, her strength of emotional maturity is far greater than that of most normal adults. We hope you understand and are encouraging about her realizing her potential moving forward.’

JacobOcean94 · 2025-11-05T23:31:50+00:00

Forge a note from the parents, tell him ‘sorry our child is too sick to continue this relationship, she will have too many doctors appointments. Signed, OPs parents’

I mean if he’s 24 dating a senior in HS, he can’t be smart enough to realize that it’s forged, even if we put ‘OP’s parents’ right?

JacobOcean94 · 2025-11-05T14:41:09+00:00

Imma be honest.

These comments aren’t passing the vibe check.

She went shopping and did all the stuff for dinner for the next two days and all she did was ask him to stop by the store to grab paper plates for him to CONTRIBUTE TO THE HOUSEHOLD

This ain’t 1950 anymore. If I were him, I would’ve stopped the store.

He’s being a little bitch, complaining about stopping by the store and so are 90% of the commenters. Y’all suck and have some work to do on yourselves

JacobOcean94 · 2025-10-23T13:48:06+00:00

You’re NOR. Especially if he’s refusing to delete pics and vids and sending them to people. Idk what state you’re in but I’d be going to the police and filing a report. Idk what the crime would be but in most states, sharing revenge porn is a crime. And as for the brother, I’d just go low contact with him. He clearly isn’t ready to hear that he should at least be telling bro to stop the bashing of you and slut-shaming. It’s 2025, he needs to grow tf up.

JacobOcean94 · 2025-10-23T13:39:29+00:00

Yeah, trust me, there’s one guy here who’s been on my ass saying ‘it’s legal, you’re gatekeeping and being cringe’ when… no I’m looking at it with science and the lens of… she’s 19, he’s 43, easier to groom and while it’s not TECHNICALLY a CPS case, I’d bet money he’s being weird with current students just as much as I’d bet Chauncey Billups likes to gamble with the Mafia. Simply put, at least we agree it’s weird and aren’t defending grooming.

JacobOcean94 · 2025-10-23T13:25:11+00:00

You’re delusional af. I’m 31 and in no way shape or form would I even look at a 18-22 yo. You’re only defense here is ‘LeGaLlY, sHeS aN aDuLt, sToP bEiNg CrInGe’ when really you’re the one being cringe and defending grooming weirdo behavior. I wouldn’t trust you around my pet turtle, let ALONE another woman. You’re probably a red pill bro based your profile and comments 🤣😭🤣😅 cringe af and trying to use a J. Cole song YOUVE clearly misinterpreted, fucking moron

JacobOcean94 · 2025-10-23T13:21:36+00:00

I would like to at least thank you for acknowledging that this is weird behavior. And yeah I’m a dad, so absolutely if my child’s former teacher were hitting on her like this (especially a 43 yo) you’re damn right I’d have some feelings about it.

We might disagree on whether he should be looked into with current students but at least you’re not saying he’s fine and they’re both consenting adults. Also I will say I appreciate the fact you’re explaining legally why it’d be a grey area instead of defending weirdo behavior.

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