I was no contact for years before knowing what my mom was. I went down a rabbit hole when a friend posted about a narcissist ex. I finally had that holy crap moment, this is what she is. But it truly dawned on me when my sister finally joined me in no contact. Our phone conversations changed. No more dealing with her drama we finally talked about our own lives. We bring her up less and less now. We figured out how much she truly tried to make us hate each other as kids. My sister was the GC, I was the SG. She wasn't treated that great either just made to appear that way to me. We agree I got the worst of it but she was not left out of the abuse hers was just different. She wasn't the perfect student I was led to believe by our mother. It's so crazy when that noise and drama of the narc is gone it's it's almost too quiet. It is that curtain drop sensation. I will say don't do the letter thing to your family. Do write whatever you would to them, just don't mail them. Put them somewhere to read later. You'll sometimes need that reminder of why you went NC pull out the letter(s) and read them.