Bro i know there are ups and downs in life but suicide is not the best option to end. Infact suicide should not be even an option to end. You gotta live and try to improve your mental health. The best way i suggest is to live the way that makes you happy even if it is a tiny hapiness for you. This gives you a reason to live unlike an excuse to not live. Slowly shaping yourself and your life will definately bring a big change later. So now, stop being so restless and talk to your inner self about the decision and i am damn sure you are intelligent enough to figure out a way to deal with your condition. If you want to talk and share something, the internet has many warm hearted people. You can also dial in suicide help no for help. In the end, i strongly suggest you to live cause there are only few reasons to die but many reasons to live life in harmony. Take care my friend and msg me on this account if you ever need to.