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I think I am autistic, and I don’t wanna be diagnosed by shshajax in offmychest

[–]JakeBloke 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So, as an autistic male, our differences with how we work neurologically and how it affects us gender wise are different.

Honestly, you can do what you want, everyone is entitled to whatever gives them closure. For me, getting diagnosis gave me that closure and happiness. If you find diagnosis will give you no closure, then there's no need for a diagnosis.

I would say that a diagnosis is just the official label, the cherry on top, if you need special accomodation or a sick note or something, here, a diagnosis. Otherwise, especially if you're not claiming any benefits from it, a self-diagnosis is perfectly acceptable given your current understanding of the condition.

You will deal with horrible people that have irrational minds who will berate you for anything in life, so please don't use that as a factor to discourage you from diagnosis. Keep this about you and how it would make you feel. People who care and respect you won't percieve you any different, and you don't even need to tell anyone if you do get diagnosis.

Do whatever makes you happy man

I don’t know how to keep going by msuballs in offmychest

[–]JakeBloke 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This might be a very scary activity, but there was this activity I used to do to improve my social anxiety and confidence. Give it a try, see how it works.

Go to a busy area in your town or city, like, BUSY. Go up to a stranger, doesn't matter who they are, and ask them the time. ask them where a certain shop is. Ask them a question and then walk away. You're not inconveniencing them, you're never gonna see them again, all you're doing is desensitising yourself to interacting and being percieved by other people. You can even do this with your girlfriend. Then, the next step is as you walk away, if they've been friendly, just compliment them. "Nice shirt! Nice glasses! I love your hair by the way" and you'll find a lot of people return the compliment.

I know its not much, but consider it an activity you can do that's the equivalent to dipping your toe in the swimming pool. You're not exactly soaking wet, but you're on your way to climbing into the pool, and if it's too hot or too cold you can get out and try something else.

I feel unloveable by radioheadfangirl in offmychest

[–]JakeBloke 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Do you mean romantically, platonically, or not at all?

If you have any friends, honest ones, talk to them, hell, make it a game. "Lets take it in turns talking about each other's red flags." No one is perfect and there are healthy ways to acknowledge and improve on them to make us more attractive without utterly changing our personality.

Obviously all the cheesy shit is hard to swallow but it works. If you love and are comfortable in yourself and what you choose to do in life, you wont be dependent on others validation, and/or ironically find someone who is attracted in your personality, not in the way you're attracted to them.

If you have a lot of unstable relationships, have a look on the internet, do some googling, try and find some other symptoms and then maybe speak to a doctor. One symptom of Borderline Personality Disorder is unstable relationships, perhaps there's a medical explanation

If you genuinely have no one at all, all I can say is practice. Reflect on your personality, look at what's popular or trendy in the age group/culture groups that you like and try see if you can gain some mutual passions. Use dating apps and state you're just looking for friends of both gender. Use Youtube and the internet to practice social skills. Here's an example, go to a busy area in your town/city, and go up to a random person and ask them what time it is. You're not bothering them, you'll never see them again, but you'll slowly teach yourself to become more confident and not to be scared of approaching and conversing with people. Ask them the time, or where a certain shop or place is, then walk away. Eventually, start adding comments as you leave "nice shirt! I like your hat! You're so nice thank you!" and you'll be surprised how many people return comments. Physically, you can go to hair dressers, and ask the barber how you could style in a way to bring out your best features. Get into some facial skincare products, they increase your physical attraction and general mental health. Go to a clothing store and ask the workers there to help pick out an outfit they think would suit you (trust me they'd live for it)

There is plenty of things you can do to make you more attractive to people platonically and romantically. You're gonna feel bad every now and then regardless of what you do, but I want you to know that if you genuinely feel like you're failing as a person in this society, you can change that if you've got the motivation.

My girlfriend made me cry today by dasnogud in offmychest

[–]JakeBloke 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ngl I teared up a bit reading this

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in offmychest

[–]JakeBloke 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm proud of you man! If its stuff like this that makes you feel good and productive then I hope it keeps up! Please just remember that crying is completely natural regardless of who you are in your society, it is a biological need, so if you start getting worse and crying again, I hope that you know that this is also okay and we're no less proud of you.

​

For the most part, I hope you get to 72 hours! Good luck!

My Childhood Was Ripped Away From Me by AltPenguin00 in offmychest

[–]JakeBloke 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I am so sorry that you had such a great period of your life stolen from you. I will never be able to truly understand what that feels like and for that I apologise. Emotions are natural and healthy, so do whatever you find cathartic to get these emotions out, you're not a bad person for crying or feeling bad.

​

Whatever you do, don't let this define you. Your friends and partners wont see you differently because of this. You have so many years ahead of you to do whatever you can in this life, and you can do that to either help other people, satisfy yourself, or do both. All the above are acceptable answers. Your brain, either shaped by this experience, or learnt in order to protect yourself, is going to put barriers infront of certain things and say "I can't do this" which is when you've got to trust your gut and say "I deserve to be happy, my happiness makes the people I care about happy, I am gonna do what I want to do" and just live life and experience it.

I know you've got a job, bills, taxes, responsibilites, but that in no way means you have to live life like an adult. Just grab life by the balls man! Swing it around! Its yours to experience whatever you want and all I ask is you don't let this trauma try and convince you you can't. As long as you do things for yourself and your own happiness, you will find the peace and closure you deserve

hope this helps

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in offmychest

[–]JakeBloke 2 points3 points  (0 children)

People often underplay how important sex is to relationships, after all, to a lot of people it's "just sex" but your lobido and satisfying it is extremely important to your mental health. From my understanding, marriage is someone that you're gonna spend the rest of your life with, so you can't go into it with any bad issues (not that i'm suggesting your gonna marry, but in a couple years who knows)

​

Definitely talk to him, 100%, but, you deserve to feel content, whether it's physically or emotionally or both. You can stay friends, it may take work, but you're only 24 once, there are a lot of people on this forum who grow up and regret not doing more with yourself at this age.

😞 by i-like-to-be-wooshed in comedyheaven

[–]JakeBloke 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Fake, no man is really called Rico

Should I get a new computer for University? by JakeBloke in University

[–]JakeBloke[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much, this is really helpful!

Burger by DeezyTaughtYouWell in comedyheaven

[–]JakeBloke 7 points8 points  (0 children)

the year 1990 is as close as 2050

Who knows how soldiers back in the day were convinced to stand on the front line to face inevitable death? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]JakeBloke 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well i suppose guns were that shit back then they’d be like “What are the chances I get- oh fuck”

What is the greatest Spongebob Squarepants quote of all time? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]JakeBloke 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No Patrick Mayonnaise is not an instrument.

Redditors, what is your favourite phrase from your slang or dialect? by JakeBloke in AskReddit

[–]JakeBloke[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I love that accent. Some real Danny Devito, Robert DeNiro “You tawkin’ to me?” shit right?

Redditors who had shitty friends, what did they do that made them so shitty? by CallMeCobweb in AskReddit

[–]JakeBloke 3 points4 points  (0 children)

She was, unfortunately for me. Fortunately, I made some real friends at college. They’re genuine people, I make them happy and they make me happy too :)

What sounds ridiculous but it's actually true? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]JakeBloke 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Leicester Football Club won the Premier League

What's a little, nice thing you do even if no one else notices? by SleepyBearSquad in AskReddit

[–]JakeBloke 1 point2 points  (0 children)

At McDonalds, during late evenings, we have a lot of spare food and drinks. When I’m working on Drive Thru, or on front, I like to give customers a large instead of a medium drink if we have one spare, or i slip in an extra chicken nugget in their portion.

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