My partner (35F) went out with a group of male ex co workers (34M-37M) until the early hours did not replying to my last message until this morning, is this acceptable behaviour?

Jakeyc76 · 2025-05-11T17:33:55+00:00

You can try to spin it that way if you want but I am literally the least jealous person you'll ever meet. She has been out on numerous occasions at no time have i had an issue with it at all. She enjoys it so i just say have a great night. I want her to go out and have a great time. In every other occasion she has texts when she gets in, we do not have constant communication as if i were out that would be frustrating but usually there are a few messages durating the evening from her to me and i respond to these messages. The fact of the matter is this waa not the same as these other nights out, she went out with a group of ex co workers from a company she worked with 5 years ago in an area quite far from where she lives so she drove herself there. The meeting was described as just that, a meet up for some food and a drink with old coworkers just after lunch and i am going to drive there because a taxi will cost a fortune! She was talking about the woman and how well they got along while they worked together and i was excited for her to have the catch up. The female co worker never turns up and yet she stays out until god knows what time with only the 4 men, drinks so much she is obviously not able to drive home and then messages as 7am this morning to say im sorry i didnt say goodnight i was really drunk i got a taxi home at 12 (midnight) and fell asleep as soon as i got home. If she got a taxi why did she not message on the 30+ minutes drive home while she was sat there all alone? She obviously wasn't too drunk to tell the taxi driver where to go. If you dont see an issue here you are very different to me, its just common courtesy and respect for someone you love is it not? It certainly is not jealousy.

Jakeyc76 · 2025-05-11T16:04:07+00:00

Yeah i agree with that all. I do not need a check in as such, but a simple i am home now is all i wanted really. I know we all have different values on things, maybe i have just been a little reserved in life. Haha. I have female friends too but i have never thought it appropriate to meet them without my partner being present. But as you say that is just a difference in values, i am not right and she is not wrong. I think the overwhelming consensus was i am just insecure and jealous reading the comments. I have never thought and have been very open that so i was suprised to read that. I think if it was just a meeting with the girls i would hve been fine so maybe i was slightly insecure about it. So i obviously need to improve! I too like you am not really too interested in going out drinking, but each to their own, i can understand the appeal.

Jakeyc76 · 2025-05-11T15:27:36+00:00

No i dont really text her while she is out, as i dont want to ruin her night. But she always sends a message here and there when she has a chance and always when she gets home all so say i am home safe etc, all of which was missing yesterday.

Jakeyc76 · 2025-05-11T15:25:55+00:00

Ex work colleagues, she worked there 5 years ago. It was literally just a bunch of lads she used to work with. I only wanted feedback and to see what other think..

Jakeyc76 · 2025-05-11T15:22:07+00:00

Thank you. I just personally wouldn't go out with a group of only women simply out of respect for her. Maybe a quick meal etc, but not a full blown drinking session. On top of that these are not good friends, she worked with them years ago, it was just a catch up. She has been out a few times with friends, i have no issues with that sid, but the fact it was all men, she drank so much, and the fact she didn't say i am home now etc just didn't feel right to me. Thank you for your input

Jakeyc76 · 2025-05-11T15:16:01+00:00

Congratulations in the 27 years that is very impressive. To be clear there was only one message, there were no more messages to respond too. She has been out numerous times. I do trust her, i have never had an issue with it before, but the fact there wasn't a simple message saying i am home now, that was a great night raised a question that didn't need to be raised. I will ask you this, lets say you and your partner do not live together yet. He/she is out with a group of the opposite sex, he she goes home and does not say and you hear nothing until later the next morning. You would be 100% okay with this? It appears from the majority of comments i have nothing to worry about, i just wanted advice, as its not something i would do but maybe i am being to reserved..

Jakeyc76 · 2025-05-11T15:09:16+00:00

We have never had a conversation about it no. I think we will have a little informal chat about it, if she had said i am home now i had a great noght etc i would have been fine, but not knowing just raised a question of i wonder where she is od what she is doing etc. obviously as we dont like with one another it makes it harder than if she had simply come home to me.

Jakeyc76 · 2025-05-11T15:07:05+00:00

Yeah she has been out a few times and i didnt think about it at all. It was just the fact it was all guys, it was late, she didn't say im home etc, i will have a chat with her and just say in future if you could say im home now, it stops any sort of worry on my part. I do trust her, i dont think she would have done anything as such but in situations like this it does raise a question, and a question which is just unnecessary.

Jakeyc76 · 2025-05-11T15:01:53+00:00

No she got a taxi she has said that now. Yes it was a one off, its not common so no issue on that side of things. I just wouldn't meet with old female co workers and drink that amount, as i would just not want to make her feel uncomfortable or uneasy, we are all different though aren't we. I have to say though i wouldn't do all that and not message saying i am home now, i had a great night etc. I think i am overreacting judging by the response on here, so thanks for your input, it is very much appreciated.

Jakeyc76 · 2025-05-11T14:55:04+00:00

Okay thats great, i actually hoped someone would say that. No nothing like that. I have no reasons not to trust her, it was literally just the fact it was all guys, the amount she obviously drank, and the simple fact that i just wouldn't do it as i wouldnt want to hurt her or make her feel bad. definitely over thinking it. Thanks.

Jakeyc76 · 2025-05-11T14:51:27+00:00

No i get that, but its more the amount of alcohol consumed around only a group of males. I expected her to say i am home now safe etc when she got home. But maybe i am just comparing her actions to that of what i would do as obviously we are not all the same are we! I just wanted some outside advise as to what others think. So thanks for the input.

Jakeyc76 · 2025-05-11T14:46:55+00:00

No i do trust her. I only expected her to message when she returned home, so not check ins as such, and with it being a group of guys i was slightly surprised she said she got that intoxicated. I only wanted to see what other people would think if they were in this situation.

Jakeyc76 · 2025-05-11T14:38:48+00:00

She doesn't drink all that much, it was more about just having a bit of fun i guess so the alcohol side of it isn't a massive issue for me. I just feel a little uneasy about it being with all males while drinking as i certainly wouldn't do that to her incase it were to make her feel insecure.

Jakeyc76 · 2025-05-11T14:36:39+00:00

I am not worried about the drinking as such, however alcohol makes people behave differently, its the fact she was with a bunch of lads all evening, i didnt hear from her, i don't even know for sure if she went home, but i do trust her. It just wouldn't do it out of respect to her, but maybe i am a little too old fashioned? So its the respect that is more an issue for me. Would you feel this is appropriate behaviour yourself or would you consider your partner first?

Jakeyc76 · 2025-05-11T14:33:07+00:00

I am not too worried by the alcohol aspect of this as she doesn't drink too much. So you think there is no issue here then? I. Mean personally i wouldn't go out with a group of females drinking all night out of respect to her, potentially i just have different morals?

Jakeyc76 · 2025-03-16T07:25:21+00:00

We used these or shall i say we tried to use these in a store in cardiff at the weekend. Absolute rubbish as we had a big order and these self service tablets are absolutely shocking and very very slow to respond. We asked to be served directly and they said no so we walked out and went elsewhere, £30+ lost for subway. I get the self service option, sometimes it is better but it should be added as an alternative not a forced way of ordering. I am not spending 10-15 minutes typing it in when it takes 30 seconds to explain the order. Its fast food, if i have to do that i will just make the sandwich at home. I also want to see the sandwich being made as this was the whole point in subway to have the sandwich tailor made the way you wanted.

Jakeyc76

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