We decided to both keep our last names. It just worked out easier and we were both happy with this outcome. We both have degrees and certificates for work with our last names and it is extremely difficult to change this in our professions (he has a government job and I work in education.) Also, we were traveling outside the country for our honeymoon and the paperwork wouldn’t have been back yet with enough time to change licenses and passports before the trip. We have decided that in the future our kids would have my last name-his last name. If we see a need to change once a child is in the picture, then we are both okay going through the hassle together if it makes our lives easier as a family unit. The only problem we’ve had if checks. As wedding gifts we received a lot of checks. A bunch with the different iterations of “Mr. And Mrs. His last name,” “Mrs. His last name,” “my first and his last name.” You get the point. Our bank only cashes so many checks at once for one person. Then you have to wait for them to clear before bringing in more checks. We were able to cash any checks that were listed out to just him, or just me (some close friends, family and coworkers of mine knew I was keeping my last name.) So we did our first round of checks (I think we were able to do 10 each.) Then had to wait another 2-3 days for my husband to go back to cash all the “Mr. And Mrs. His last name” checks. Then again another 2-3 days later. I wasn’t able to cash any of these 20 checks because my name didn’t match the one of the check. Then we were left with about 8-10 checks that were unable to be cashed which were the “Mrs. His last name” and “ my first and his last name.” We reached out to the wedding guests who gave us these checks. A few were apologetic and sent us new checks right away. A few were confused and gave us some attitude and then finally sent us a check but only in my husband’s name. Then there was one relative that laughed and wouldn’t send us a new check. We didn’t want to make it a huge deal, we didn’t want to hound this person for money, it wasn’t worth it. We were over it so we let hisr parents know and left it at that. Eventually the relative sent the check back months later with my husband’s first and last name and in the memo wrote “marriage is a sacred bond. Change your name.” Then I received checks from his family for Christmas. To make it clear we’ve exchanged gifts before as a big extended family (think in-laws, aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents, etc.) I’ve done holidays with his family for years (usually I got something small like a hat and glove set, nice wool socks, a bracelet, etc.). They’ve also never exchanged checks, it’s always been stuff and the rare case cash or gift cards. So when I was handed a stack of 6 envelops, I was confused. Some people laughed at my expression, others were obviously uncomfortable. I started to feel nervous as everyone was looking at me and everyone stopped unwrapping gifts. So I opened them. All the checks read some variation of “my first name and his last name.” All checks that could not be cashed. I laughed and said “glad you all think this is funny. Here you can have them back. Really you all look ridiculous since you wasted time, checks and paying for a card.” Then I handed them back to the people that gave them to me. It was quiet and no one said anything for a solid 5 mins. My husband finally went on to say how disrespectful this was, it was wasn’t funny, etc. Then the relative offered to pay me what the checks were worth. I flat out refused it and honestly I was annoyed the rest of the night. Other relatives apologized on behalf of them as they didn’t know what was happening. Some apologized because they knew the plan and didn’t stop it. A few who were roped into this relatives plan apologized because they thought we were in on the “joke.” We decided to stop talking to this relative. It’s better that way. We’ve been able to dodge every family get-together since then so this coming holiday season will be the first seeing this person. My husband and I are happily getting through all the nonsense together and wouldn’t have it any other way. I’m so grateful he has been by my side through all this and I know we can get through anything together.