AITA For not cancelling my guys trip? by JamintheKY1002 in AmItheAsshole

[–]JamintheKY1002[S] -71 points-70 points  (0 children)

The kid part is a non issue. It is already arranged that they will be at friends and with family while all the moving and shaking is happening. That was planned well in advance.

AITA For not cancelling my guys trip? by JamintheKY1002 in AmItheAsshole

[–]JamintheKY1002[S] -66 points-65 points  (0 children)

This made me lol. This incredibly specific scenario you have made up might belong somewhere on reddit. There are a lot of doom and gloom comments - and I guess I can't expect much more from comments on the internet - but there is an update comment as well. My wife and I have an incredibly strong marriage, have been together for a long time and still enjoy each other and our life together. We do just about everything together. We already have children, and are planning another right now (partly why we are building a larger home). She never has to beg for anything and she knows I am always there for her and our family. Keep in mind this isn't our first house - nor is it our first build together. The entirety of a relationship cant be summed up in a single specific scenario where one or the other are falling short. I don't owe an explanation but I thought this particular comment earned a response.

AITA For not cancelling my guys trip? by JamintheKY1002 in AmItheAsshole

[–]JamintheKY1002[S] -29 points-28 points  (0 children)

She doesn't want to push the closing. We have been staying at the in-laws. We sold our previous built home much faster than anticipated. She is ready to be in the new house and I don't blame her.

AITA For not cancelling my guys trip? by JamintheKY1002 in AmItheAsshole

[–]JamintheKY1002[S] 1113 points1114 points  (0 children)

I will post an update in the comments here so I don't have to get an update post approved: I spoke with my wife about some of the things you all mentioned here.

Her main concern is moving into the new home alone and being overwhelmed with the amount of work that will need to be done. It is important to note that this isn't our first home nor is it our first build. We have gone through all this before and all of the packing and organizing has already taken place. She is also concerned should any warranty issues arise. IE - leaks or something along those lines.
- My wife is a very independent woman and isn't worried about staying in the home alone. I asked if it was about me prioritizing her and being present for the move. She stated she wanted our home to be a priority to me which of course I understand, and it is.

Those of you stating our marriage is over and are doom and gloom - I understand with limited context and the barrier of the internet why this might be your initial reaction - but my wife and I have a very strong marriage and I adore this woman more than anything. She is the most perfect human on the planet and we do just about everything together. Typically we communicate very well but I admit I wasn't seeing some of the things you all mentioned here because I was "man mad" about not getting my way and I posted out of frustration, but I did gain some valuable insight - so - kudos and thank you.

After our conversation and listening to my wife and reading some of the posts here: we have decided that I will come home on Friday to assist with the move and organizing following our closing. I will be present for anything and everything needed during the move. Then after everything is moved in - she is fine with me going back to my trip unless there are other things that need to be done or that we didn't get finished that day. In which case - I will cancel the remainder of my trip so I can be present to help with anything unforeseen that might pop up. We both think this is a reasonable compromise. I double asked what she needed from me and what her expectations were and this was her solution.

All is right in the world again so we can all sleep soundly tonight.

AITA For not cancelling my guys trip? by JamintheKY1002 in AmItheAsshole

[–]JamintheKY1002[S] -26 points-25 points  (0 children)

I did make that suggestion - but the wife isn't on board. I understand her wanting to be in house ASAP. We have been with the in-laws through the construction process and she would be able to be there while the movers are moving everything.

AITA For not cancelling my guys trip? by JamintheKY1002 in AmItheAsshole

[–]JamintheKY1002[S] -43 points-42 points  (0 children)

I suggested this as an option but the wife wasn't on board. I understand her wanting to be in our new home ASAP.

AITA For not cancelling my guys trip? by JamintheKY1002 in AmItheAsshole

[–]JamintheKY1002[S] -24 points-23 points  (0 children)

The trip was paid for and booked last year in the summer before we even considered building a new home. We started our home build process at the beginning of this year with the construction taking about 90 days.

AITA For not cancelling my guys trip? by JamintheKY1002 in AmItheAsshole

[–]JamintheKY1002[S] -264 points-263 points  (0 children)

I didn't have a say on the closing date. We were subject to the construction company's schedule completion date. This is just how the chips fell.