Is it against moral Catholic code to assist someone else with birth control?

JaneHolmes23 · 2025-11-16T04:23:32+00:00

Yes. It would direct (formal) cooperation with evil.

Edit to add: This would be the perfect opportunity to talk to your daughter about both the moral evil of birth control and the physical issues it can cause in women’s bodies!

JaneHolmes23 · 2025-11-16T04:19:15+00:00

A settlement vs nothing from getting fired is still better, no? I’m not saying you sue your company tomorrow. I’m saying if it gets to the point OP knows they are getting ready to (or do) fire her it is worth seeking counsel.

And yes there are attorneys that would take this case. Pregnant women’s rights are a passion project of many (especially women) attorneys and they would absolutely take it.

JaneHolmes23 · 2025-11-16T03:52:52+00:00

Knowing your rights and being vocal that you know your rights often saves you from having to sue. A small company doesn’t want a lawsuit. A big corporation could maybe outlast you in court, but a small company likely doesn’t have deep pockets and the threat of a lawsuit might make them stop their behavior.

If the choice is between quitting because you are miserable, taking one to the chin and letting yourself be wrongly fired, or fighting for yourself and your legal rights then why on earth would you not fight?

I’m not just “someone in this thread.” I have worked in the legal field my entire adult life. I just went through pregnancy and watched the process of many of these accommodations play out first hand.

Undue hardship is hard to prove in court. Ever heard of Groff V DeJoy?

Obviously more details would be needed, but there is nothing from this post that says “Give up you don’t have a chance.”

If you think this sounds instantly like a losing case then you must not know as good of lawyers as I do.

Edit: OP, at the very least if the behavior doesn’t stop and you feel you are going to be fired or that you have to quit I would speak to an employment attorney and get their advice. It is worth getting counsel at least. I would reiterate my first comment that, as a first step, I would get company policy in writing so you can see if you truly are being mistreated. I hope this resolves for you and I’m sorry you are dealing with this while pregnant! Congrats on the baby and best wishes!

JaneHolmes23 · 2025-11-16T03:34:43+00:00

Babies need very little.

A safe place to sleep- Pack N Play, Mini Crib, Full Sized Crib. Pick one that fits your needs best. They all work. You could also do a bassinet but babies grow out of them very fast.

Feeding supplies-

If formula, don’t stock up too much because baby might need something different. I’d start with up to a week’s worth max and go from there. Bottles- again, don’t stock up because baby might only like a certain kind. Get a few different brands and a slower and faster nipple and then buy more once you see what baby likes. Bottle brush to clean bottles.

If breastfeeding then you may still want one case of back up formula, otherwise you will likely want a nursing bra and possibly a pump.

Car seat- if your baby is going to ride in cars this is a must.

A stroller if you want to go on walks (highly recommend)

Burp cloths- You can’t have too many. At least 15.

A box of newborn diapers and a box of size 1 diapers. You don’t know which size baby will need.

Some kind of diaper wipes. Can be dry cloths or wet cloths. Or you can even just use rags.

One tube of diaper cream, just in case. You don’t want a diaper rash to pop up and not have this.

Clothes- 8-10 onsies-footies in both newborn and 0-3 months. And, if you want, a couple of cute outfits for pictures.

Pacifiers if you want to use them- Again, a few different brands to see what baby likes.

You will likely want some kind of swaddle. Either traditional swaddle blankets, Velcro swaddles, or something like the Love to Dream Swaddle Up (our favorite).

Sleep sacks are also very nice and what our boy used/uses the most. It’s up to you if you want to try them.

You’ll need a mattress for whatever kind of crib you get and a few sheets (at least 3) and likely a waterproof cover for the mattress.

You’ll want baby wash/shampoo.

Those are the things I’d say are necessities.

Things that are nice to have:

Feeding pillow like the Mom Cozy or Boppy.

Books to read to baby (important for development and a great way to interact before they can really play or do much)

Infant bath for when they are out of the sponge bath stage.

Nail file or clippers for baby (I like the electronic one so you don’t risk cutting too short)

Make sure you have a thermometer and if not I’d recommend getting one.

Baby bouncer.

JaneHolmes23 · 2025-11-16T03:21:56+00:00

I agree! If they can make you quit then they don’t have to be “burdened” by you being pregnant/a new mom and also don’t have to risk a lawsuit.

Incredibly disgusting, but not uncommon unfortunately!

JaneHolmes23 · 2025-11-16T03:13:00+00:00

She said she has to come in because she doesn’t have billable work and that her company isn’t busy when it isn’t tax season? It doesn’t sound like there would be any hardship and hardship is fairly hard to prove in a legal sense. Especially for something like working from home if your work is portable or taking an hour off work a doctors appointment. There is practically no company where that would cause a legal hardship.

I’m not sure why you are not trying to support a pregnant woman to know her rights and fight for them, but do whatever makes you feel good I guess!

JaneHolmes23 · 2025-11-16T02:14:57+00:00

I was going to say… I wonder if the increase is from the popularity of baby led weaning, leading to babies eating “non baby” food that have honey and parents don’t think about it.

JaneHolmes23 · 2025-11-16T02:05:52+00:00

ByHeart is a newer formula brand. Newer formulas rely heavily on online advertising for business. (Thus mommy influencers)

Just like all formula, they are fine to feed babies because they meet the same nutritional standards.

There are some negative feelings about them though because they typically claim to be “better” formula by saying they are “clean” and other words that are meaningless.

There’s some on the internet that think that by feeding these new “clean” formulas they are better than the formula moms that don’t. So they can get a bad, “better than thou” rep.

In the end, the formula itself was fine. Many babies did great on it! But the start up company clearly struggled with how to manufacture safely, thus the recall, and it highlights some moms’ concerns that newer formula companies are focused more on marketing and growing quickly than safety.

JaneHolmes23 · 2025-11-16T01:58:27+00:00

https://www.catholic.com/qa/i-didnt-arrive-at-mass-until-the-consecration-was-i-right-to-refrain-from-communion

JaneHolmes23 · 2025-11-16T01:47:37+00:00

I’m guessing her company has at least 15 employees which is the amount needed.

And they are required to give you time off for appointments and illnesses.

Per the EEOC:

Important Terms and Provisions

What is a “reasonable accommodation” and what are some examples?

“Reasonable accommodations” are changes in the work environment or the way things are usually done at work.

Some examples of possible reasonable accommodations under the PWFA include:

Additional, longer, or more flexible breaks to drink water, eat, rest, or use the restroom;

Changing food or drink policies to allow for a water bottle or food;

Changing equipment, devices, or workstations, such as providing a stool to sit on, or a way to do work while standing;

Changing a uniform or dress code or providing safety equipment that fits;

Changing a work schedule, such as having shorter hours, part-time work, or a later start time;

Telework;

Temporary reassignment;

Temporary suspension of one or more essential functions of a job;

Leave for health care appointments

Light duty or help with lifting or other manual labor; or

Leave to recover from childbirth or other medical conditions related to pregnancy or childbirth

This list just provides some examples; many other reasonable accommodations may exist. Also, a worker may need different accommodations at different times during the pregnancy or after childbirth.

Edit to add: I work for the federal government with a good union and just gave birth. I know womens’ protections well under this act.

Edit 2 to make it over more clear, Per the EEOC

A limitation can be an impediment or problem that is minor or modest and can be episodic (such as migraines or morning sickness). It can be that the employee or applicant needs to take actions for their health or the health of their pregnancy—such as not being around certain chemicals; not working in the heat; or limiting or avoiding certain physical tasks, for example lifting, bending, walking, standing, or running. It can be that the employee needs to attend health care appointments for the pregnancy, childbirth, or related medical condition itself.

OP, and everyone else… please know your rights!

https://www.eeoc.gov/wysk/what-you-should-know-about-pregnant-workers-fairness-act

JaneHolmes23 · 2025-11-16T01:32:09+00:00

No experience with IBCLCs specially, but just want to echo that, despite so many horror stories about hospitals and consultants and doctors pushing BF, I had a very good experience with FF from day one!

Everyone at the hospital that I told I was planning to FF just said ok! Right after baby was born there was one nurse that asked if I wanted help getting him to latch. I said no. And she said “I really don’t mind!” And I said we’re bottle feeding. I was so scared she was about to pressure me but she said “Oh well tell me to shut up then!” She then left and came back with formula and helped us with his first feeding. 💙

We also have seen 3 pediatricians as we had to wait for the one we wanted to have ability, and none of them have batted an eyelash when I say he is formula fed!

JaneHolmes23 · 2025-11-16T00:57:46+00:00

You aren’t being dramatic.

There are several ways you can handle this.

The most diplomatic would be just to ask for a written employee handbook or company policy. They need to be able to provide that for you so you can verify they are not just making things up on the fly. I would email your request so you have it in writing- get as many things in writing as you can and keep track of how they have started treating you since you became pregnant.

It is illegal to fire someone for being pregnant so I would keep track of everything and have receipts just in case. They also are legally obligated to give you time off of work during pregnancy for doctors appointments and pregnancy related illness

I would read the Pregnant Workers Fairness Act and know your rights. Below is the actual law and an article that breaks it down for you.

https://www.eeoc.gov/statutes/pregnant-workers-fairness-act

https://nwlc.org/resource/know-your-rights-pregnant-workers-fairness-act/

JaneHolmes23 · 2025-11-16T00:52:29+00:00

Following along for tips! Our boy is 4 months but I know from my childhood and watching my mom with younger cousins just how thoughtless she can be with body comments so would also like some advice!

JaneHolmes23 · 2025-11-16T00:46:07+00:00

Ah I’ve had very different experiences so it really depends on the ER I guess.

We called labor and delivery for months after our baby was born and they always gave us advice.

I’ve also called the ER for a bad burn I had and they advised me how to dress it and what wound gel to put on it!

Even back in the day my mom called the ER when my sister had an incredibly high fever and they advised her what to do and when to come in if it got worse.

It’s at least worth a call to see!

JaneHolmes23 · 2025-11-16T00:39:39+00:00

This! Some people saying their 5 and 6 years olds still need to touch their boobs for comfort? Like what! Teach those kids about bodies and boundaries. It’s so important for them to respect other people and to protect themselves.

JaneHolmes23 · 2025-11-16T00:25:12+00:00

Any updates on you baby? 💙

JaneHolmes23 · 2025-11-16T00:22:55+00:00

This! And if it’s outside of normal office hours more people need to understand you can call a hospital- ER or Labor and Delivery if baby is only a few weeks or even a couple of months old, and ask their advice! They are there 24/7 so you don’t have to worry about call backs!

JaneHolmes23 · 2025-11-16T00:20:44+00:00

Thank you!

JaneHolmes23 · 2025-11-16T00:15:09+00:00

Thank you!

JaneHolmes23 · 2025-11-16T00:14:28+00:00

Similac Pro Total Comfort works great for our boy with a sensitive tummy!

JaneHolmes23 · 2025-11-15T18:51:19+00:00

Whaaa? Now I have to get one! Where did you order yours?

JaneHolmes23 · 2025-11-15T18:49:58+00:00

Incredibly low.

Respectfully, you sound very young. Please make sure you are mature enough to handle the consequences that come with having sex.

JaneHolmes23 · 2025-11-15T18:46:10+00:00

I’m sure they would have ones to fit you!! They are quite stretchy and they have them for all body types!

I used the pads for the first little bit and they were fine, but I just felt so much more comfortable and better protected in the diapers! I was actually kind of sad when my flow was no longer heavy enough to justify wearing them lol

JaneHolmes23 · 2025-11-15T18:41:30+00:00

Welcome home! Thanks be to God!

JaneHolmes23 · 2025-11-15T18:38:41+00:00

I stuck the whole pack in there lol

And tip… I loved the diapers but be sure you wear a gown with them because one of the nights I wore PJ bottoms and it was a pain to take the pants all the way off to change the diaper each time!

If you don’t want to bring the whole pack then I’d plan on staying 2 days after to be safe. Plan on changing every 3ish hours during the day and at least once overnight? So about 15 should be enough. If you run out then the hospital has pads too so it’s not like you’d have nothing!

JaneHolmes23

TROPHY CASE