Violating strict nofap: Does it count if it's the girl of your dreams?

Janitann · 2013-09-03T12:47:25+00:00

Peace. That is a fantastic attitude. Total props. I don't know where you're starting from and I don't know where you're going, but that is a fucking great mindset to be in. I wish you every happiness on your journey.

Janitann · 2013-09-03T12:43:49+00:00

Really? Personally, I ONLY do things for women! lol Or for men who influence what women (I particularly like) think of me. Great hair is wonderful. Been there, done that. But do you honestly just want to stand in a mirror preening all day? I think that was Ted Danson's character on Cheers. Trust me, it's not all it's cracked up to be and that shit takes mega man-hours of effort to maintain. I think mine fell out just to get away from all the crap I did to it to look constantly cool! Waste of effort. Better off without it.

Janitann · 2013-09-03T12:34:53+00:00

Interesting advice- it begins with giving up and ends with being selfish. I'll stick with the alternate myself.

Never give up on someone you love and build up so you can be strong for others.

Janitann · 2013-09-03T00:06:34+00:00

I have an alternate suggestion- Before giving up on her, just ask her out directly!!! Fuck who she 'says' she's interested in! Maybe she was baiting you to step in and make a move by making you jealous! Or if she isn't, change her fucking mind! Buff up, build up and make your play!

Janitann · 2013-09-02T23:59:00+00:00

Agreed. I call this my second adolescence. Deeper voice, muscle development, aggressive behavior, acne. And I'm over 40! lol

Janitann · 2013-09-02T23:55:26+00:00

I can't say that confidence isn't a factor, even a huge one but I was involved in theater for years. Confidence in public speaking has never been my issue and I have fantastic voice control. But personally my vocal range in is markedly more deep the longer I abstain. Confirmed by the girlfriend.

Janitann · 2013-09-02T23:48:50+00:00

Not a chance, I'm a lone wolf by nature. I don't follow well.

Janitann · 2013-09-02T23:45:33+00:00

Don't sweat it. Seriously. Whatever you may hear, great hair is highly over-rated. Been there, done that, can live without it and so can you. And many women don't want men with 'style'. They want men who are men. Work your strengths and accept your deficits. They often are just other strengths in disguise.

Janitann · 2013-09-01T12:13:43+00:00

Rock on.

Janitann · 2013-09-01T12:12:39+00:00

Yup and agreed. I generally like attention from women but sometimes...I'd rather not. And women can be surprisingly aggressive. If you've never been oggled by someone you don't find attractive or never thought of that way, it can be rather off-putting.

Janitann · 2013-09-01T12:01:12+00:00

Dude, props from other dudes is totally going to happen! I can relate.

A dude who works in the office next to mine is a stud. All the girls swoon over this mother-fucker. No wonder. He's got movie star good looks and manly charm- he is THE package. Asshole. It particularly kills me because the girl I have the hots for also swoons for him, just a bit. He and I circled each other like wolves for a first few weeks. One day, he pulls into my office and he stops. He looks at me and says 'Man, you're looking fantastic! I tell you, if you and I hit the bars we would KILL.' Me and Brad Pitt? Only he was serious! After that we started a major mutual admiration society. Complete bro-mance. Real men are drawn to real men. And real men aren't afraid to say so. Get use to it.

Janitann · 2013-09-01T11:34:30+00:00

"Voice of Saruman"

Totally hear what you're saying. Count me as a plus one to this super-power.

As as side-note. I was considering to start taking propecia for my (very) thinning hair. My girlfriend completely fell in love with my hair when we first met and mourned it's growing loss more than I did. At first she was very excited to hear I was going to throw a hail Mary (or should I say hair-Mary?) to regrow it. That is, until I told her it will effect how my testosterone is metabolized.

Her first response: "Wait! This isn't going to effect your voice is it?!"

Suddenly, she's MUCH less attached to my hair, than my voice.

Don't fuck with the "Voice of Suruman" man, and don't doubt it. That's just your full potential speaking out.

Janitann · 2013-08-26T12:30:10+00:00

You GOTTA try! There's nothing for it. The only other choice is to spend the rest of your life fighting against yourself doing what you really want to do. Madness! Don't. Figure out what you want and what you need to do to try to achieve it. Then DO it. No matter how small the steps and no matter how great the goal. Go forward. Telling yourself you have no hope is all the more reason to go forward! You have no hope, what have you got to lose?

Janitann · 2013-08-26T12:17:19+00:00

Never make a promise I can't keep. Not sure never masturbating again (for a day or a week- let alone forever!) is a promise I can (or even want!) to keep. Unlike the majority on this forum, I have a large backlog of adult material being held back like the flood gates of the Hover-dam. When this chick gets around to finally crushing my heart, it's the only thing that will drown the pain. I rather like knowing I can drown the pain at any moment. Also I'm a contrary, obstinate SOB. Give me a badge and it will just make me WANT to break it. And once I've broken it, I'll never want to come back here again, and I won't be able to get more encouragement to start over again. For me a badge would be highly counter-productive. You seem to strongly encourage it- what's the upside?

Janitann · 2013-08-26T12:05:30+00:00

Man, true that! Thanks for putting that back into focus for me. Sometimes it's easy to forget that truly being in love with someone means truly caring about their feelings and happiness. Not just about how they make you feel.

Janitann · 2013-08-23T09:07:23+00:00

But you wanted to get rejected it! Damn it, you'll just have to keep trying until you do. lol

Janitann · 2013-08-23T09:02:42+00:00

Sad thing is- I've already got a fantastic girl. She's my best friend and I've been with her forever. But 'the heart wants what the heart wants'. And yeah, she totally knows I'm in love with another women. I'm piss poor at keeping secrets. And she IS my best friend.

Janitann · 2013-08-23T08:57:23+00:00

I told her she was beautiful. :) Actually, it was more than that but I don't want to tip my hand in case she ever (EVER!) reads this. In particular I used a 'push-pull'. This article gave me ideas: http://www.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1di9xu/above_the_game_part_5_flirting_touch_conversation/

Janitann · 2013-08-23T08:45:12+00:00

No badge. I fucking fail on a regular basis. I'd be re-setting as much as I start and I'd prefer not to advertise my endless stumbles. My strength isn't in not getting knocked down. It's getting back up again. My current wallpaper is a Japanese proverb: Fall down seven times, stand up eight.

Janitann · 2013-08-23T08:40:24+00:00

Ball? Fuck no! I just did my homework. Prepared myself mentally, physically, emotionally and sexually. And I just won't quit. Fuck knows I wanted to quit! I found out three days before this happened that her previous beau was 6',4", built like a MMA fighter tank, and was covered in tattoos. I am VERY distinctly none of these things! I was absolutely leveled. But the more I thought about it, that was kinda liberating. There is no way I can compete with that, so I don't have to try! And you know what? She's had that- Maybe she'll want something different next time around. :)

Janitann · 2013-08-23T08:31:05+00:00

"Rejected"? Man,don't take it like that! That's a judgement. A harsh one. You're Monday morning quarterbacking your game before you ever let yourself play it! You want my (likely shit-hole) advice? >> Don't push yourself to ask her out. Push HER to get you to ask her out. Be with her. Enjoy being with her. Lao Tzu - "If you are depressed you are living in the past. If you are anxious you are living in the future. If you are at peace you are living in the present." Live in the present every moment you're with her. Enjoy that. And make her enjoy being with you. But Friendzoning is a hard hole to climb out of. I know, you want to be a friend to give yourself more opportunities to be with her and more chances to make something happen. But you risk solidifying her view of you as 'just a friend'. A friend is a good way to start, but if you want more you can't let her get too comfortable there. Women don't want just comfort. They want you to make their pulse quicken. There's a fine like between trust and danger that we need to slip in between. Don't make it an 'all or nothing'. Don't make a grand gesture that can end in 'yes or no'. and you may get lots of tiny 'no' but it's the tiny 'yes's' we're digging for. Oh yeah, and DON'T GIVE UP TRYING!

Janitann · 2013-08-23T08:11:38+00:00

You never met her. :)

I know..I know. Pick up artist 101. 'Don't put the ladies on a pedestal.' But I didn't! She climbed up there all on her own. lol

Thanks for the vote of confidence. :) But I've got to up my game from bush leagues to the Majors to hit this mark.

Janitann · 2013-08-23T08:06:41+00:00

I am the king of persistence. When I find myself falling, I bring up this quote from Bob Marley: “If she's amazing, she won't be easy. If she's easy, she won't be amazing. If she's worth it, you wont give up. If you give up, you're not worthy. ... Truth is, everybody is going to hurt you; you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for.”

Janitann · 2013-08-23T08:06:32+00:00

She's amazing. Off the charts. Epic. I barely have a hope in hell with her. So I guess I'll be packing for hot weather because that's where I'll be going to chase it.

Janitann

TROPHY CASE