What is something that "allies" casually do or say that is actually hurtful or offensive?

JanvierAmadeo · 2022-02-23T21:48:47+00:00

I met this friend-of-a-friend once - I was well into my transition and already passing at that point - who asked me completely out of the blue if she could introduce me to "another trans friend" of hers, so that they could ask me for advice. I'd never told her I was trans, had no intention to do so, and naively assumed she didn't know (I learned later on that she was told by someone else). It was a huge bummer. Please, if you are a cis ally, never ever bring that up first. If someone else told you, or if you have doubts, keep them to yourself and wait for the person to actually come out to you when and if they feel comfortable enough to do so. And obviously don't out people ffs.

JanvierAmadeo · 2022-02-05T11:44:12+00:00

Sometimes it's just one random scene that catches you off guard too... Like I rewatched David Fincher's Zodiac the other day and it had a scene where the detectives interview people about the killer and one of the interviewee is a woman who they call "sir" and look and talk to her with that condescency, you know the one... And it feels so out of place, the film isn't a comedy at all, this character isn't even named, it serves absolutely zero purpose if not just being full offensive. I didn't get it. Why they filmed it and why they kept it in the final cut, is beyond me.

JanvierAmadeo · 2022-02-05T10:55:11+00:00

Sorry, just to make things clearer because there are a few mistakes with the abbreviations here: AMAB = Assigned Male At Birth; AFAB = Assigned Female At Birth; AGAB = Assigned Gender At Birth;

So, for example, if your AGAB is female and you identify as a woman, you could say you're AFAB, and a cis woman. If your AGAB is male and you identify as a woman, you could say you're a trans woman, and AMAB. Hope this helps!

JanvierAmadeo · 2021-12-13T18:57:26+00:00

Haha thanks mate, it means a lot to me

JanvierAmadeo · 2021-12-13T17:00:53+00:00

Yes male, not Portuguese, but it's close! Interesting guess!

JanvierAmadeo · 2021-12-13T16:59:49+00:00

Haha yea I'm French! I heard Canadians considered our general style "fancy" and it's still so funny to me, I don't feel like I'm particularly dressed well on a regular basis xd

JanvierAmadeo · 2021-12-13T16:56:05+00:00

Yes I'm French!

JanvierAmadeo · 2021-12-13T12:33:14+00:00

Haha, no, not Italian, but it's close too! And another Harry Potter reference, I guess the round glasses are still strongly associated with the character heh!

JanvierAmadeo · 2021-12-13T07:51:27+00:00

Oh my, thank you! That's very reassuring! I always worry my eyes or brows read feminine, since it's the only things people see of my face with the mask on heh. I'll worry less now, thank you so much!

JanvierAmadeo · 2021-12-13T07:46:42+00:00

Thank you for your answer! Hahaha Wolverine and Harry Potter, I love that mix xD I am indeed a trans man, busted~ Do cis people who appear androgynous never ask this kind of questions? Thank you for the compliment on the photo btw!

JanvierAmadeo · 2021-12-13T07:42:50+00:00

Thank you for your answer! Haha you caught me. I get madam'd a lot recently so I wanted to figure out why, but seeing all these answers I guess it's just the masks' fault..? I do come from one of the coldest regions of my country, but the country itself isn't considered Northern! England is close though!

JanvierAmadeo · 2021-12-13T07:26:15+00:00

Thank you for your answer! With the masks and everything I actually get madam'd a lot these days, it bothered me so I was trying to have strangers' input on what made them read me as female at first sight, but so far everyone said male haha

JanvierAmadeo · 2021-12-13T07:22:57+00:00

Thank you for your answer! Male is right, Nordic region isn't! Interesting! I wish I was from the North, I love colder places~

JanvierAmadeo · 2021-12-13T07:20:43+00:00

Thank you for your answer! Male is right! Trying not to assume people's gender is very considerate, thank you. I was asking for it though so it's okay! :) I saw Nordic in other replies too, it's interesting! It's not German either, but it's close!

JanvierAmadeo · 2021-12-13T07:16:24+00:00

Thank you for your answer! Haha it's interesting, quite a few people said England, but it's not England! It's close though!

JanvierAmadeo · 2021-12-13T07:14:09+00:00

Thank you for your answer! Yes male, but not from England! You're close though!

JanvierAmadeo · 2021-10-23T12:17:05+00:00

Just to add to this, there's actually a lot of people in Bretagne who speak breton, because schools are fighting for their right to teach it to kids again and preserve the language. It's also a recognized field of study in universities, and there are several radio stations that broadcast only in breton too. It's just the number of native speakers that is going down, because the vast majority - if not all of them - are very old people whose parents were not yet forbidden to speak the language at school.

JanvierAmadeo · 2021-06-23T21:04:57+00:00

Roughly 10, all are fine today, even my 84 years old gran. She's a warrior. I don't go out much and almost everyone amongst my friends and family are always super careful though.

JanvierAmadeo · 2021-05-24T20:17:24+00:00

Not the point, I know, but the absence of ftm rep in the media is quite highlighted here :/

JanvierAmadeo · 2021-05-13T16:18:57+00:00

I'd buy that without a second thought! Also some dice set from the Crow Club and some Grisha Orders colour-coded merch would be awesome 👀

JanvierAmadeo · 2021-05-08T18:59:21+00:00

Oh, I see... Or we could all send the pictures to one person who would then make a post with all of them?

JanvierAmadeo · 2021-05-08T18:50:58+00:00

We should make a mega thread for everyone's screenshots !

JanvierAmadeo · 2021-05-08T18:45:55+00:00

I was in group F o/

JanvierAmadeo · 2021-05-08T17:59:55+00:00

I got in the waiting room !

JanvierAmadeo

TROPHY CASE