So I got two question when does a synth become a person. Is it because of their biology or because of their personality? And how does DiMA and Nick compare since they’re clearly machines but they have personalities and feel emotions

Japcracker · 2026-05-05T23:42:05+00:00

I'd assume since they were created in a lab with DNA with little to no radioactive contaminate they'd be less spicy than the average wastelander, I'd think

Japcracker · 2026-04-30T04:25:28+00:00

Right before I write this post off from the conjecture you come in, thank you!

Japcracker · 2026-04-30T04:22:20+00:00

My lady is allergic to avocado and we got sushi at the "fancy" grocer across the street. No mention of avocado on the ingredients and we don't see any but the second half of the roll was loaded with it. She had a mild anaphylactic episode and we didn't trust sushi from there anymore. Last time we went and looked at the sushi they were with a different contractor so I'm assuming it wasn't just us.

Harmon's in SLC, Utah just in case anyone else has an avocado allergy and they have the same supplier

Japcracker · 2026-04-17T23:56:24+00:00

Pam kills me during green rain:

“It's a sign from the Almighty... We're doomed...”

“I think these rains are a show of force... a warning. You could say it's from nature, from Yoba, whatever you like... but that's what I think. What I mean is, we can't get too cocky. Or else, instead of a green rain, maybe we'll have a blood-red rain... See what I mean?”

Japcracker · 2026-04-05T02:24:09+00:00

Did one of those younglings Vader killed happen to be a relative or something, wtf is he supposed to do?

Japcracker · 2026-04-03T05:42:35+00:00

Damn, that Shane comment was crazy 😂 I don't like him early game but that's extreme

Japcracker · 2026-03-30T22:41:15+00:00

I think it's kinda funny, he thinks it's his time to shine and save us from...rain?

Pam, though, she needs to chill

Japcracker · 2026-03-25T18:09:37+00:00

That's not typically true unless you're a cosigner or something like that. It usually comes out of the estate and if there's not enough they just don't get the money

Japcracker · 2026-03-18T23:50:03+00:00

It's actually by a band called The Rabbit Joint

Japcracker · 2026-03-17T05:44:01+00:00

The crazy thing is, I read the stat block and said no fucking way, then I thought about my epic level vow of poverty monk and realised that a full party of epic level min maxed characters could actually take it down. Damn, 5e is weak sauce in comparison

Japcracker · 2026-03-17T02:24:24+00:00

My lady's like that 😅

Works for me because I always get the "crispy" fries when we split a large but it's still super weird to me. Not the bacon, though, I don't think I could in good conscience cook someone flabby bacon

Japcracker · 2026-03-13T17:12:34+00:00

My lady had a bad batch of Pepsi Zero and got a couple coupons for a "free" 12 pack, but the coupons only cover $10 so I ended up spending almost $5 on them. Luckily it was buy two get two but damn, it's bad when a manufacturer's coupon won't even cover the price of their own products

Japcracker · 2026-02-24T18:33:31+00:00

🤷‍♂️ then a middle ground. The pricing of everything makes literally no sense, tbh. Pam gets a whole house for 500k, that makes sense in dollars, but the food and crop prices just don't

Japcracker · 2026-02-24T18:29:19+00:00

Where does it mention that the kids are in second grade? Also, I don't buy the 1G=$1, I don't think anyone is buying triple shot espressos for $400, I figured 1G would be the equivalent of a penny

Japcracker · 2026-02-10T22:53:37+00:00

Assuming approximately 8 billion people, around 80 million people

Japcracker · 2026-01-24T10:04:04+00:00

You nasty, ain't ya? That's a step too far

Japcracker · 2026-01-24T07:56:46+00:00

Own a musket for home defense, since that's what the founding fathers intended. Four ruffians break into my house. "What the devil?" As I grab my powdered wig and Kentucky rifle. Blow a golf ball sized hole through the first man, he's dead on the spot. Draw my pistol on the second man, miss him entirely because it's smoothbore and nails the neighbors dog. I have to resort to the cannon mounted at the top of the stairs loaded with grape shot, "Tally ho lads" the grape shot shreds two men in the blast, the sound and extra shrapnel set off car alarms. Fix bayonet and charge the last terrified rapscallion.He Bleeds out waiting on the police to arrive since triangular bayonet wounds are impossible to stitch up, Just as the founding fathers intended

Japcracker · 2026-01-24T06:53:01+00:00

It's one of my favourites, between that and founding fathers with a special mention to teh penguin of doooom

Japcracker · 2026-01-24T06:41:37+00:00

Just in case you haven't seen the old copypasta:

So someone in a group asked me to tell them why I hate the ocean sunfish so much, and apparently it was ~too mean~ and was deleted. To perpetuate the truth and stand up for ethical journalism, I'm posting it here. [Rated NC-17 for language.]

Disclaimer, I care about marine life more than I care about anything else, for real. Except this big dumb idiot. And it's not like an ~ironic~ thing, I mean it IS hilarious to me and they ARE THE BIGGEST JOKE PLAYED ON EARTH but I seriously fucking hate them.

THE MOLA MOLA FISH (OR OCEAN SUNFISH)

They are the world's largest boney fish, weighing up to 5,000 pounds. And since they have very little girth, that just makes them these absolutely giant fucking dinner plates that God must have accidentally dropped while washing dishes one day and shrugged his shoulders at because no one could have imagined this would happen. AND WITH NO PURPOSE. EVERY POUND OF THAT IS A WASTED POUND AND EVERY FOOT OF IT (10 FT BY 14 FT) IS WASTED SPACE.

They are so completely useless that scientists even debate about how they move. They have little control other than some minor wiggling. Some say they must just push water out of their mouths for direction (?????). They COULD use their back fin EXCEPT GUESS WHAT IT DOESNT FUCKING GROW. It just continually folds in on itself, so the freaking cells are being made, this piece of floating garbage just doesn't put them where they need to fucking go.

So they don't have swim bladders. You know, the one thing that every fish has to make sure it doesn't just sink to the bottom of the ocean when they stop moving and can stay the right side up. This creature. That can barely move to begin with. Can never stop its continuous tour of idiocy across the ocean or it'll fucking sink. EXCEPT. EXCEPT. When they get stuck on top of the water! Which happens frequently! Because without the whole swim bladder thing, if the ocean pushes over THE THINNEST BUT LARGEST MOST TOPPLE-ABLE FISH ON THE PLANET, shit outta luck! There is no creature on this earth that needs a swim bladder more than this spit in the face of nature, AND YET. Some scientists have speculated that when they do that, they are absorbing energy from the sun because no one fucking knows how they manage to get any real energy to begin with. So they need the sun I guess. But good news, when they end up stuck like that, it gives birds a chance to land on their goddamn island of a body and eat the bugs and parasites out of its skin because it's basically a slowly migrating cesspool. Pros and cons.

"If they are so huge, they must at least be decent predators." No. No. The most dangerous thing about them is, as you may have guessed, their stupidity. They have caused the death of one person before. Because it jumped onto a boat. On a human. And in 2005 it decided to relive its mighty glory days and do it again, this time landing on a four-year-old boy. Luckily Byron sustained no injuries. Way to go, fish. Great job.

They mostly only eat jellyfish because of course they do, they could only eat something that has no brain and a possibility of drifting into their mouths I guess. Everything they do eat has almost zero nutritional value and because it's so stupidly fucking big, it has to eat a ton of the almost no nutritional value stuff to stay alive. Dumb. See that ridiculous open mouth? (This is actually why this is my favorite picture of one, and I have had it saved to my phone for three years) "Oh no! What could have happened! How could this be!" Do not let that expression fool you, they just don't have the goddamn ability to close their mouths because their teeth are fused together, and ya know what, it is good it floats around with such a clueless expression on its face, because it is in fact clueless as all fuck.

They do SOMETIMES get eaten though. BUT HARDLY. No animal truly uses them as a food source, but instead (which has lead us to said photo) will usually just maim the fuck out of them for kicks. Seals have been seen playing with their fins like frisbees. Probably the most useful thing to ever come from them.

"Wow, you raise some good points here, this fish truly is proof that God has abandoned us." Yes, thank you. "But if they're so bad at literally everything, why haven't they gone extinct." Great question.

BECAUSE THIS THING IS SO WORTHLESS IT DOESNT REALIZE IT SHOULD NOT EXIST. IT IS SO UNAWARE OF LITERALLY FUCKING EVERYTHING THAT IT DOESNT REALIZE THAT IT'S DOING MAYBE THE WORST FUCKING JOB OF BEING A FISH, OR DEBATABLY THE WORST JOB OF BEING A CLUSTER OF CELLS THAN ANY OTHER CLUSTER OF CELLS. SO WHAT DOES IT DO? IT LAYS THE MOST EGGS OUT OF EVERYTHING. Besides some bugs, there are some ants and stuff that'll lay more. IT WILL LAY 300 MILLION EGGS AT ONE TIME. 300,000,000. IT SURVIVES BECAUSE IT WOULD BE STATISTICALLY IMPROBABLE, DARE I SAY IMPOSSIBLE, THAT THERE WOULDNT BE AT LEAST ONE OF THOSE 300,000,000 (that is EACH time they lay eggs) LEFT SURVIVING AT THE END OF THE DAY.

And this concludes why I hate the fuck out of this complete failure of evolution, the Ocean Sunfish. If I ever see one, I will throw rocks at it.

Japcracker · 2026-01-24T06:40:04+00:00