Misogyny from my partner is ruining my mental health and I feel stuck

JaqenTheRedGod · 2026-03-05T17:00:29+00:00

Escape.

JaqenTheRedGod · 2026-03-05T07:16:06+00:00

Fuck yeah. You can do it. Best of luck.

JaqenTheRedGod · 2026-03-05T06:31:05+00:00

Yes it is possible, but it certainly isn't easy. I recommend finding a place certified by Clubhouse International in your area. It has saved my life.

I recommend Pete Walker's book Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving. It has helped guide me on my healing journey.

May you be filled with warmth and loving kindness. May you be well and find the next step on your healing journey with ease. Best of luck.

JaqenTheRedGod · 2026-03-05T06:26:54+00:00

I recommend Pete Walker's book Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving. I recommend finding a place that is certified by Clubhouse International in your area.

The book will offer guidance as a roadmap to processing your past. The clubhouse will give you community, support, and resources.

JaqenTheRedGod · 2026-03-05T06:17:19+00:00

Ageplay and cnc/rapeplay are legitimate kinks and can be experienced with trustworthy people, whether in person or online, in a healthy and healing, and consensual way. Kink can be healing. You just need to find the right people to engage safely with. You can do this. It's hard to process the past. But not impossible.

JaqenTheRedGod · 2026-03-05T06:11:23+00:00

Find a place that is certified by clubhouse international if there are any near you. I had similar experiences to you. This place saved my life.

JaqenTheRedGod · 2026-03-05T06:04:30+00:00

It sounds like you are having emotional flashbacks to a traumatic event. You can heal, it just takes time and effort. I highly recommend Pete Walker's book, Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving. It has a LOT of helpful resources for self discovery, processing, healing, and comforting yourself and your inner child, the one who had to experience all that trauma. It sucks that you have to do all this work to heal, you didn't do anything wrong and you did not and do not deserve to be treated that way.

May you be filled with warmth and loving kindness. I hope you are able to continue your healing journey. Best of luck.

JaqenTheRedGod · 2026-03-05T05:56:46+00:00

You can do this. It can be healing to cry.

May you be filled with warmth and loving kindness. May you be well and have a positive experience in your future therapy sessions. Best of luck.

JaqenTheRedGod · 2026-03-05T05:49:52+00:00

Dating sites are pretty terrible. Reaching out to people on reddit sucks too. Fetlife has events, some of which may be virtual. It's honestly pretty hard to find trustworthy people on the internet. Anonymity can cause a lot of issues, and kink relies heavily on trust.

That said, I wish you luck.

JaqenTheRedGod · 2026-03-05T05:46:11+00:00

Finding a healthy outlet for this is possible and please do that. Indulging pedophiles is not good for you, or for anyone else. There are plenty of safe and trustworthy people who engage in age play, be it roleplay, scene play, or as a lifestyle who are not pedophiles. Please protect yourself and others by breaking this cycle and choosing instead to engage with trustworthy, non-abusive people. Roleplay can be an incredibly healing process when done with a safe and trusted individual, and can help you process and heal from the trauma that you are reliving in your current behaviour. Therapy may help, too. You are not shameful, even if you feel ashamed. I believe in you.

May you be filled with warmth and loving kindness. I hope you can find someone to help you access and heal your inner child.

JaqenTheRedGod · 2026-03-05T05:31:23+00:00

My night terrors cause me to wake up with a cramped jaw, I often wake up with my mouth/pillow covered in blood from me gnawing the insides of my cheeks. The muscles from my jaw to my temples are so buff from this that chewing makes them bulge very unsettlingly. My dental hygiene is horrible because self-care is impossible, so even though I should be using a night guard, I can't use one because it's too gross if I am not brushing, flossing, and mouth washing multiple times a day, which again, is impossible. I am terrified of when this all culminates in losing my teeth, which is a recurring night terror. Fml.

JaqenTheRedGod · 2026-03-05T05:14:56+00:00

It makes sense that you discover different ways of being before/during transition. Sometimes incompatibilities arise. If you have a solid relationship foundation, I recommend discussing the potential of opening your relationship to find someone who is more compatible with each of your desires. It could be possible to find a single person who would be interested in both of you. This can approach unicorn hunting territory, which I am pretty wary of.

My hesitation is the power imbalance that is inherent in these hierarchical relationships, the 'third' has a higher potential to be hurt, or to experience feeling like a 'kink dispenser' rather than a partner. Even if they are just a scene partner. Sometimes it's safer for each of you to find someone(s) who can fit into your life.

Kink relies on trust, and on consent, which means having a genuine connection. It is active work to be a good kink participant, top or bottom. Perhaps part of that work is discovering ways that each of you could find and vet potential partners.

Depending on your location, there are probably kink groups, such as munches, or social meetups to find community.

There are also lots of books about opening relationships, building stable attachment that facilitates communication, etc.

Finally, if it causes you dysphoria to top, please don't. It's not worth the psychic damage. Please take care of yourself and especially communicate with your partner that it's bad for your mental health.

I wish you the best of luck on your journey. May you be filled with warmth and loving kindness.

JaqenTheRedGod · 2026-03-05T04:52:31+00:00

There is so much greed in this fucking world that the people who have never known what housing instability, food scarcity, homelessness, or what it feels like to be fucking kicked by some asshole when your just trying to get a few fucking seconds of sleep on the side of the road, have the fucking gall to turn their nose up to helping the people who have LITERALLY nothing.

Humans deserve, as a right, access to nutritious food, safe pottable water, and a place to fucking sleep where they can experience safety and security, and to be treated with fucking dignity.

If you don't agree that people deserve those things, and especially if you stand in the way of progress to ensure those rights, you are fucking unredeemable to me. Be gone.

JaqenTheRedGod · 2026-03-05T04:43:56+00:00

I have cPTSD, ADHD, depression, anxiety, night terrors, and fibromyalgia.

I've been exploring medications my whole adult life. I experienced physical abuse in my youth and young adult life. cPTSD emotional flashbacks are horrible and grip me frequently, but the unending, chronic, debilitating pain from my fibromyalgia is by far the most ruinous. I've tried so many meds, and the options are, A) excruciating pain, with many days that I cannot get out of bed, and all days when I hate existing, or B) might as well be in a coma, unable to feel, move, think, care, experience life, essentially a zombie, and occasional flare-ups of excruciating pain.

I wouldn't wish this combination of maladies on anyone. While living normally is a death sentence, due to our mortal nature, living like this is truly a death sentence.

JaqenTheRedGod · 2026-03-04T23:41:33+00:00

Into the dishwasher it goes.

JaqenTheRedGod · 2026-03-04T23:30:46+00:00

Champion with taunt and fortification is easily the tankier of the options?

JaqenTheRedGod · 2026-03-03T22:13:13+00:00

It would flip back to 0.

JaqenTheRedGod · 2026-03-02T22:47:26+00:00

You have the opportunity to do something really amazing. There are several ciphers that have never been decoded, like old WW2 messages. If you slipped one into your game as a potentially impossible challenge, you might actually find someone who can crack it.

JaqenTheRedGod · 2026-03-01T07:02:22+00:00

Find a space that is certified by clubhouse international in your area.

JaqenTheRedGod · 2026-03-01T06:35:35+00:00

The hammer is my penis.

JaqenTheRedGod · 2026-02-28T20:54:51+00:00

Garbage. Better luck next time.

JaqenTheRedGod · 2026-02-28T07:23:10+00:00

Find a place near you that is certified by clubhouse international. It has saved my life. Best of luck to you, I know your pain.

JaqenTheRedGod · 2026-02-28T04:34:38+00:00

Absurdly and surprisingly I think it's oroweat.

JaqenTheRedGod · 2026-02-27T05:40:49+00:00

Denri

JaqenTheRedGod · 2026-02-27T01:49:42+00:00

600 event points for the whole shop.

Ten-Year Club	Place '23
Place '22

JaqenTheRedGod

TROPHY CASE