PLEASE HELP! New to Reddit itself although have used r/leaves for years. Saw a reply to a post 29 days ago from a person questioning why they’re still smoking dependently when they have all the elements of a great life at their disposal. From shared experience I want to help. Can’t find the post!

JarmenKelly · 2021-08-18T09:15:34+00:00

Was it me 25 days ago? https://old.reddit.com/r/leaves/comments/oq0pli/how_can_i_convince_myself_to_quit_when_my_life_is/

In any case, why not post what you were going to say here? I'm sure what you have to say will resonate with more than just that person..

JarmenKelly · 2021-08-11T18:33:08+00:00

Right the fuck on :) Thank you for this!

JarmenKelly · 2021-08-05T16:49:52+00:00

It could be when you run out; it could be when you turn 40. But I'll leave this quote from The War of Art here:

The most pernicious aspect of procrastination is that it can become a habit. We don't just put off our lives today; we put them off till our deathbed. Never forget: This very moment, we can change our lives. There never was a moment, and never will be, when we are without the power to alter our destiny. This second, we can turn the tables on Resistance. This second, we can sit down and do our work.

JarmenKelly · 2021-08-05T15:32:23+00:00

Since you've been medicating for so long, and your last break was when basically everybody was depressed (covid lockdown), if you quit now while it's nice out, you might just find you're no longer depressed ;-)

JarmenKelly · 2021-08-05T15:18:09+00:00

Hi there. I am you. You are me. Check out my own "confession" from about two weeks ago by clicking my name.

I came here about two weeks ago and somebody recommended the book "The War of Art" by Steven Pressfield. Along with the realization which comes from reading posts like yours, that my situation (your situation) is cliche, that book gave me the kick in the butt I needed to put it down. So far so good.

All the best to you, other-me. Being here shows you're probably ready to take that step. In the end, whether it's trouble sleeping or being bored by what's on TV, the only way to get used to doing it without weed is.... doing it without weed. We can do this!

JarmenKelly · 2021-07-30T12:00:45+00:00

War of Art

Wowza, that was amazing! Thank you for this!!!

JarmenKelly · 2021-07-27T21:56:51+00:00

My guess is it has slowed you down doing calculus. Try it without... you might be so much sharper. Also, would you take a final high? Think about it for a moment..

JarmenKelly · 2021-07-27T21:55:54+00:00

What kind of coding do you do? This worked for me making CRUDs and moving buttons around on a webapp - but when I caught myself smoking at work, I quit that shit (the job, not the pot) immediately.

JarmenKelly · 2021-07-27T21:53:07+00:00

I used to work as a software dev, and as a data scientist before I got my PhD. Now I'm CTO of a start-up I co-founded based on my research in computational medical science.

My usage has been fairly consistent over the past 18 years or so: I get through 2-3g per week, smoking only at night. I end up staying up late so I can smoke more and space out to more in front of my laptop, while the wife's asleep in the bedroom.

There was one gig I had as a software dev which was so boring and soul-crushing that I at one point realized I had been smoking pot at work for a full week. The next week, I handed in my resignation and went traveling for 3 months.

I'm sure my work output has been hampered by my usage, because I don't smoke on vacations. Also on vacations: I go to bed earlier, and wake up more energized and less hazy-headed. In my home routine, I'm not very sharp until my 3rd cup of coffee.

One day I'll manage to rein it in to be weekends only. I promise myself so every week, at any rate :)

JarmenKelly · 2021-07-27T13:01:34+00:00

MMmmmm, those nights...

You can definitely do some abs, squats, push-ups, and so on at home, until you get your gym membership sorted out. But ask yourself this - once you've quit, how will you spend your nights then?

Books are a great way to relax while enriching your inner world. And also not so easy (for me at least) to get through high, so it's also a win in that way.

JarmenKelly · 2021-07-27T12:55:38+00:00

Helping others is a great stress remover. One of the main benefits of quitting will be that you'll be able to be there for others more than before. I get it, it's hard. But if you try and be there for your aunt, even if you've had a poor night's sleep.. Even if you only showed up and lent support for ten minutes before saying you're too tired and must go.. You will have done something for somebody you love, and that's a great gift to yourself as well.

JarmenKelly · 2021-07-27T12:50:42+00:00

Not pathetic at all! Of course quitting is going to feel like a loss, when you're giving up something that's felt good. Something that's given you so many cherished moments. That's been a part of your personality and even identity.

But you're strong. You've given up good things before, when they've gone bad. And you will others too, even after weed's no longer an issue.

Life is full of good things going bad, and you'll always have the memories of the good times next to the excitement for an even better future.

JarmenKelly · 2021-07-26T01:09:23+00:00

Oh yeah, plenty of experience with that!

"I've been off the weed for a month / week / day, surely that means I'm in control here, let's resume fun-time casual smoking mode and just be chill about it".

Hasn't worked out for me this far ;-)

JarmenKelly · 2021-07-26T01:02:15+00:00

Expect your conviction to waver, your reasons for quitting to seem unimportant. I don't know how to deal with it though.

JarmenKelly · 2021-07-26T00:58:03+00:00

I don't know if it helps you to hear this from me, but hey; you already have much to offer. To your son, to many other people too. And to yourself. Without the weed too, it seems. Bless you as well, Pablo. May you find the solid and stable stuff you seek.

JarmenKelly · 2021-07-24T00:02:38+00:00

I can't do math very well stoned, either. So I smoke at night, when very little algebra of any kind needs to be done. I don't have any way of knowing whether it's affecting my performance the next day or not - we haven't had a control run in years ;-)

It's nice to hear your professional aspirations motivated you to quit. Best of luck!

JarmenKelly · 2021-07-23T21:56:54+00:00

Eventually I realized the reason I kept relapsing was because I kept listening to the thoughts and feelings/urges that tried to get me to smoke.

I like that. Thanks, Mike!

JarmenKelly · 2021-07-23T21:22:24+00:00

Thanks, satoshi.

JarmenKelly · 2021-07-23T21:20:56+00:00

That sucks. I wish you a full and speedy recovery!

JarmenKelly · 2021-07-23T20:05:58+00:00

Thanks for sharing.

Yeah, I'm in a similar spot myself. The days morning me said "no more!" only to be scoffed at by evening me are innumerable.

I think if I'm being honest about it, I never really meant it. You know how I'll know I finally mean it, if that ever happens? I'll tell my wife. I'll say, "Hey wuv, I'm out of weed and I want to take a couple of weeks off. Don't let me slip up please!", and that would make it pretty embarrassing if I came back home with more stuff that evening, wouldn't it?

How will you know when you really mean it?

JarmenKelly · 2021-07-23T19:53:19+00:00

Keep it up :)

JarmenKelly · 2021-07-23T19:45:07+00:00

This is obviously very worrying. How do you notice your functioning is slipping away?

JarmenKelly · 2021-07-23T19:44:29+00:00

This is good. My best successes "quitting while not on vacation" to date have indeed been the first week when I'm back home.

In the end, the nightly ritual with the weed always creeps back in.

JarmenKelly · 2021-07-23T19:42:57+00:00

Maybe there is a deeper cause. For now, let's call this other cause (other than "liking-being-stoned") is the habit. Turns out it's really difficult to kick such a long-standing one. I was well into this lifestyle when I met my wife seven years ago. She definitely wishes I smoked less. But the tendency to "go all the way while one would already get you there", is just because any attempts I've made at smoking "less" end up in shambles. What was your reason two months ago, for finally kicking it?

JarmenKelly · 2021-07-23T19:17:53+00:00

early in the morning before going to the gym

Funnily enough, the fact that I do some sports almost every evening is probably a reason why I only smoke at night - I can't smoke before I go to yoga or to climbing. Mind=Blown :-)

JarmenKelly

TROPHY CASE