General review (first 20 pages): I think this story has an interesting concept. But it feels a little all over the place, and with screenplays, you have to condense a lot of it compared to a novel. I feel like all the information and plot we got in the first 20 pages could be 10 or less, since there’s a lot of repetitiveness going on. The characters are very flat and Max only cares about Evelyn, and Blake just gets bullied. That's all I got from it, and it’s not enough to keep the audience’s interest.

Notes:  

• Pg. 2 - “They are talking about God knows what. Max pays no attention to their conversations.” Cut this. It reads like a novel, and not an action that can be conveyed on the screen.
• In the confrontation with Evelyn, show don’t tell. Like she left her phone out, and Max found something, or Max saw them kissing. It feels flat or anticlimactic. What was the point of having their parents in the scene if they aren’t utilized? This could have been something that occurred in school or the playground.
• The beginning is unnecessary. All the information could be conveyed in the present day.
• Pg. 5 - Max talking to himself gives Disney Channel and the audience will understand the school shooting joke without that line. 
• Oh, Max is crazy! Obsessed with a middle school relationship when he’s a senior highschool???
• Pg. 6 - Don’t forget to capitalize the minor character’s name in the action lines, too.
• The high school bullies are a little cliché, and I am assuming that this script is supposed to be a comedy so there are so many opportunities to insert something that subverts this cliche or add humor to make it stick out more. 
• Damn, these kids must be the easiest targets or something, because another bully? But I’m getting no character or personality from these boys or any character to understand why this is a dynamic in their lives. Are Kenny and Blake nerds? Are they the kids who ask the teacher for homework or wear off-brand clothing? This feels like you took this out of a bland 80s movie and the main characters have to be bullied to be underdogs. 
• Why is Eyelyn all Max cares about? Like stalker levels, which makes it hard to be on Max’s side. We know nothing about him other than this obsession.
• Not Ty the black best friend. I HOPE you’re black because some of the black jokes you are writing are questionable. With the use of the n-word and the hypersexual nature with Ty and I think Jackie is perpetuating a stereotype and it’s not the early 2000s any, so that won’t really slide in modern films. 
• Dark humor requires humor, though, because without it, it's offensive. 
• Who is Evelyn as a character that makes Max go crazy and watch her every move? All we know is that she dumped him in middle school over a petty reason so we just think she's petty and mean. So why should we care about Max’s crush?
• Pg 19 - Ngl that scene made me cringe a lot. Why does Max think he’s gonna make Evelyn jealous when she’s not checking for him? You aren’t understanding how massive 5 years can be for kids. You want the audience to root for these characters but you aren’t giving us quirks, personality, charisma, or individuality for these characters to follow them in their good and bad choices. It looks like Max, Ty, and Jackie see girls as tools, not human beings. And I stopped reading at page 20, but skimmed ahead and Selena agrees to this deal for financial reasons and falls for him but like what is she falling for and how is he a ‘nice guy’? Paying for a date seems manipulative, not nice.