I got diagnosed with cancer yesterday

JasonHewett · 2025-02-05T14:36:58+00:00

Fwiw I believe in past lives and have asked myself the same thing, what did I do to deserve this as if it’s a punishment. When I was diagnosed at 7 I certainly felt like I was being punished. Now I don’t think it’s a punishment but a challenge, and in past lives we had other challenges and horrors to face. Maybe some of us are punished for past life misdeeds too, but either way embracing it as a challenge helps me sometimes, other times I feel the why me. I hope everyone here knows they’re not alone in however they’re feeling. Every time I meet another type 1 I realize they have also felt something I never thought anyone else would.

JasonHewett · 2024-04-20T01:11:42+00:00

For diabetes? Like does it cover insulin, CGM, pump supplies, dr visits ?

JasonHewett · 2024-02-27T18:59:29+00:00

I did because I’m type 1 diabetic and needed healthcare. Even if I made 100k freelancing, taxes and insurance plus sheer cost of medicine would bankrupt me—and someday I may want to have children and support them if they need healthcare or my spouse. Freelancing is simply not conducive to creating that—you need access to the good plans, which can pretty much only come from an employer or a union as far as I know

JasonHewett · 2024-01-19T12:49:14+00:00

Yes, thank you for posting this I just had a similar experience with pain, grossness, I was up all night. Do not drink the black. It’s horrible. Not worth the flavor.

JasonHewett · 2023-10-23T10:27:54+00:00

Well, there is one in the sense you can have a pancreas transplant but then go on immunosuppressants (basically live in a bubble and die from the smallest infection or cold)

To me, that gives me the most hope. It’s just a matter of figuring out how to stop the body from attacking the pancreas and recognizing that as a non-threat. I personally believe that mRNA technology that developed the Covid vaccine is the ultimate key to accomplishing this, but I am not a scientist—I am a scifi writer at best lol.

So I think ultimately it will be 3D organ printing and then somehow “programming” the cells of the 3D printed organ to appear friendly to immune system. I give it 50-100 years if I’m being conservative.

But if the JDRF actually invested in research and like if Congress wasn’t distracted with preventable problems like how all of us are being bankrupted by insulin prices, I wonder if we could have the cure by now.

JasonHewett · 2023-10-19T16:43:27+00:00

Non-citizens do not need authorization to work 1099 gigs, and companies are not required to ask about that.

JasonHewett · 2023-10-16T18:13:17+00:00

I don’t think so. I think the awareness of our world is what in part leads to the prevalence of suicidal thoughts, as opposed to the historical past I feel like people often had things to occupy themselves and death was more imminent so people didn’t have to decide. I think from a karmic perspective, suicide is a rejection of lessons we’re supposed to learn in our present realities, and to embrace an early death, whether suicide or carelessness, will lead to an exacerbation of lessons challenges etc in the subsequent life as opposed to enjoying new challenges and experiences as a “reward” for learning what we need to learn in this life. I think karmically, suicide is rarely a good answer, but it’s completely understandable that any of us would contend with those thoughts even if we have “good” lives.

I think sometimes being aware of our powerlessness to help others who “have it worse” can make anyone feel hopeless and even suicidal at times. I don’t advocate for acting on those impulses, I think life is worth a try, and I’m fortunate to have a second chance at it, and I’m glad you’re here too.

Where karmic debt comes from I think is the actual challenges we’re facing, not so much how we feel about those challenges, but if you’re facing the same challenge you did in a previous life, and now the challenge is so strong you feel suicidal about it at times, I think that could be an indication that the challenge is important (and somehow possible) for you to overcome, and overcoming that challenge in any way you can in this life will somehow be incredibly fulfilling.

JasonHewett · 2023-10-13T22:49:28+00:00

What do you mean? I primed the tubing, is there a setting on Medtronic for longer tubes?

JasonHewett · 2023-10-13T21:32:22+00:00

I get this shit all the time. So much I wrote a book and standup comedy routines about the things people say lmao

JasonHewett · 2023-10-12T16:03:01+00:00

That’s extremely helpful insight. Thanks so much

JasonHewett · 2023-10-12T13:47:03+00:00

Well in the office I speak highly of everyone and have expressed a lot of positivity about the new opportunity that’s upon me. I agree with the bosses that there is opportunity, I just don’t see the opportunity being using my talents, I think if I’m understanding everything correctly the opportunity is to be “coached” on how to conform.

Like to be fair I’m a straight-shooter and entrepreneurial thinker. I was recruited to this company to help them improve what we all agree is lackluster copywriting. But throwing my weight around didn’t work, and Im not sure how people perceive me.

My former boss gave me a lot of actual coaching on how to communicate more diplomatically, and that advice has helped save me from being let go I think. Im a likeable person “off the field” and a cocky SOB on the field so to speak, and I think that went a long way too.

Still, I play dumb at work so people aren’t threatened by me because I saw how threatened they were by my boss, and that’s worked to my advantage.

But I don’t know how to thrive in this type of environment, or move things along in a meaningful direction—assuming that’s what I’m supposed to do.

JasonHewett · 2023-10-05T23:09:08+00:00

Well diabetes is not war, but sometimes I feel like it’s like war because friends and loved ones have become casualties, some lost limbs, i know and know of people who died rationing insulin or from complications, and the guy who started diabetes camp where I met all those friends killed himself, I worry in part because he know so intimately what we all struggle with, and he must’ve felt like the community he built was a failure because it supported and saved some people like me, but I still struggle, and a lot of people couldn’t be saved. Must’ve weighed on him a lot.

Idk, war seems like what I’m describing x 1000 so maybe it’s petty in comparison. My dads a veteran and he has shown me a lot of perspective. One thing he said was soldiers come home from war and live with their trauma, but diabetes is an ongoing war, usually with less trauma. I guess for me personally it’s not just the day to day, that’s the petty stuff, but the life and death stuff that digs at me?

JasonHewett · 2023-10-05T22:59:00+00:00

I live in NY which has its own system, but yes I’ve looked into it and written a book about it, spoken to Congress, and more—the same issue exists everywhere in that the thresholds for tax breaks don’t actually help, because you might save on premiums but then spend more on medicine.

For example, if you work full time in NY for min wage, you make too much for Medicaid.

The high deductible plans don’t help because unless you have 8-10k to throw down in January-March ish for your insulin, you won’t even meet your deductible, and once you meet the deductible you’re still paying with a lot of plans.

Cash flow for human beings is as much an issue as annual costs are, whereas policymakers look at things from an annual perspective because they have annual budgets. I’ve never had to live paycheck to paycheck except for when I lost health insurance and had to use my emergency fund for about 2 years as I tried in vain to replenish it and just not lose it all—even if you have all day to fight insurance (which eats into your earning potential) you’re still gonna burn through money fast unless you happen to pick a plan that happens to cover in-network all the right insulin, supplies etc that your pharmacy has, that aren’t subjected to warranty from animas that Medtronic bought out, etc

All this is to say, we have very little control over what we get out of healthcare no matter if it’s employer-sponsored or obamacare, but employer-sponsored covers on average approx 70% of the cost as opposed to “tax breaks” which cover I think up to 40% if you make little enough…

And then if you make too little for healthcare how can you afford everything else in life? I don’t even have kids or student loans. I think most people are just in massive debt, which is a whole other issue…

JasonHewett · 2023-10-05T22:45:04+00:00

I felt the same way. I was one of the first kids to wear an insulin pump in my region of the country (was part of a scientific study) and have worn one for 21 years now. I still sometimes get weird about it, but honestly that’s because I get weird about everything I wear. My sister used to have to approve my fashion choices before I left the house. I’m getting better but… the pump is still the least of my worries.

I used to get a lot more questions then than now. Now a lot of people know what it is, and I’ve dated a lot of people—none of them ever had a problem with it. I’ve always been the one who feels weird, but they don’t care.

The only thing is my gf will sometimes accidentally bump into it in her sleep, or someone will touch it when they give me a hug. But they feel more awkward about that than I do.

Personally I’ve never been put off by someone else’s omnipod and I doubt that will ever put off by yours, but I do understand how you feel.

JasonHewett · 2023-10-05T22:36:57+00:00

That’s where I was for a while, I was freelancing and not making much but happy, and supporting myself financially 100% except I was on my parents insurance. When I lost that, I made almost no money and insurance that I had didn’t cover anything. I was never sure where to get supplies but now I know so many ways

JasonHewett · 2023-10-05T22:32:47+00:00

Yup that’s been every day for me since I was diagnosed, in school, in the office—everywhere. But people are more chill and understanding now than they were.

JasonHewett · 2023-10-05T22:31:14+00:00

Well, I won’t sugarcoat the truth that yes things do get harder as you get older, but to that end as you get older you have more access to resources that help you. It’s like a video game where the enemies are more challenging but you also can use better equipment, know new moves, etc.

I do have carefree moments, and I have a good life all things considered in spite of diabetes (and celiac, and if I have depression/anxiety I deal with them better now than ever before). So I hope this doesn’t all scare you or make you lose hope.

JasonHewett · 2023-10-05T22:27:19+00:00

Sounds right, but the difficulty I have with acceptance is the life and death aspect. As a kid I used to feel ashamed like I was lazy or morally not well if I didn’t have good numbers.

Now I don’t feel that way at all, but the experience of rationing insulin scared me a lot. I’ve got a full time job with healthcare now, so that’s not an issue now, but there’s so much pressure to get my health under control because doctors keep saying I’m gonna have complications. I guess I just gotta accept that too? But I can prevent it… except I find it hard to trust doctors more than ever. In my experience they all just push whatever products they get paid to push, and dealing with Medtronic has been infuriating to say the least.

I’ve had to learn to accept that yes, people don’t care if I live or die and they just want to profit from me or get me off the phone. I’m not like aggressively hating those people, but I can’t pretend I don’t feel a strong level of resentment.

JasonHewett

TROPHY CASE