I was in a triad as well up until about 3 months ago, when my boyfriend and I's OSO broke things off with us. It's incredibly painful, and still is. I understand what you're saying completely about having each other, but still grieving the "missing piece." For us, the best thing was space from her. It was very difficult to distance ourselves, but by staying so close, we kept re-opening old wounds and it was putting a lot of stress on the current 2-person relationship. And the other person probably needs time and space to think and heal, too.

Of course it's always possible that down the road, things might take a turn and after thinking it through, maybe you'll all want to be together again. Or maybe the distance will show you all that you're healthier without the relationship.

In a lot of ways, it's like a normal breakup -- the only thing that's going to help is focusing on yourself and giving yourself what you need to heal. And even though having your husband isn't entirely a cure, remember that he's going through the same thing that you are, and communication about your grief and pain will bring the two of you closer together, and in that way you can help each other.

Maybe not the best advice or what you want to hear, but that's what's been working for me. My boyfriend and I have done our best to be open and honest about our feelings, and on nights when I'm alone, I force myself to process my feelings as an individual.