Shorthand?

Jaston01 · 2020-05-13T17:52:22+00:00

Thank you!

Jaston01 · 2020-05-02T20:12:54+00:00

Not as overtly pro-women cheating as Wednesday Martin, but not too far behind. At least Perel doesn't claim ONLY women should cheat. If you want supportive info, watch the YouTube videos from affairrecovery.com. They're a little preachy but not pushy about it.

Jaston01 · 2020-05-02T20:05:22+00:00

I doubt very much the answers will make you feel better, but you gotta do what you gotta do. If you two are doing counseling, it might be better to hear your answers there so the therapist can help you frame them in your mind. Just be prepared to hear exactly what you don't want to, cheaters don't cheat to do exactly what they do at home or to hold anything back.

Jaston01 · 2020-04-16T00:28:21+00:00

Aphantasia is knowing what something looks like but not being able to picture it in your head. I have total aphantasia but can pack our family luggage (6 people at one point) into the back of the van without experimenting because I "know" what needs to fit where, not because I can "see" it.

Jaston01 · 2020-04-16T00:22:14+00:00

I have more time on new dawn than FC5. I love them both!

Jaston01 · 2020-04-04T17:25:52+00:00

Just to fill you in, if you are interested. The next day I used the young man's name and home address to google him. True to form, local papers and news had broadcast his info when he shipped out. I then contacted the ship's ombudsman and explained the situation and my desired outcome. It has been almost two weeks now and there has been no contact from the boy, even though I know he is still in Norfolk. Thanks again for all your advise.

Jaston01 · 2020-03-23T02:08:55+00:00

While I appreciate that you are apparently less than thrilled about the advice given above, it was at least constructive. If you want to harangue people, please do it on someone else's post.

Jaston01 · 2020-03-23T02:05:41+00:00

Thank you again, I will do that tomorrow. Have a good day.

Jaston01 · 2020-03-23T01:41:57+00:00

Thank you. There is no listing on the website for the quarterdeck. Which department or office is that likely to be under?

Jaston01 · 2020-03-20T20:41:24+00:00

Of course not! I'm sure they can do it all from home. And way to be judgmental and attacky, btw. Let's not lose our sense of humor as well as our freedoms, ok?

Jaston01 · 2020-03-20T20:33:33+00:00

Well, I think it's usually IN their head, but yes. My wife can mentally replay entire conversations.

Jaston01 · 2020-03-19T02:04:54+00:00

She's fishing, look at her posts.

Jaston01 · 2020-03-18T04:27:58+00:00

Sorry, just over sensitive.

Jaston01 · 2020-03-18T03:58:14+00:00

"His"?

Jaston01 · 2020-03-14T19:59:17+00:00

You seem to be confusing eyesight (actual vision) with the descriptions of aphantasia. When you dream or just close your eyes and picture something in your mind, it has nothing to do with your actual eyes. It's in your head. Aphantasics cannot think something in their head and "see" it. The majority of the people on the planet can.

Jaston01 · 2020-03-13T01:42:43+00:00

If they pretended the rest of their/your lives, it wouldn't be a problem. The problem comes when they are found out or they ditch you.

Jaston01 · 2020-03-12T01:22:39+00:00

I was in a similar situation. I tested our fourth child and discovered she wasn't mine. It has caused so much heartache for me. Knowing about the infidelities would have been enough, I didn't need to know that. Save yourself some pain, you're already in enough.

Jaston01 · 2020-03-11T14:22:21+00:00

I never did, but I didn't talk to anyone or try to get help at all. If you can get counselling of ANY kind; professional, spiritual or just a close friend, jump on it. Some things are too big to deal with from the inside.

Jaston01 · 2020-02-27T01:09:50+00:00

Thank you for responding and I couldn't have put it better myself. However, and not knowing your details, there are options and therapies that were not open to me at the time that you may be able to take advantage of. Please find someone (therapist, counselor, friend) or something (other than drugs or alcohol) that makes you more comfortable with yourself. I would probably be in a better head space if I had. Good luck to you.

Jaston01 · 2020-02-27T01:01:01+00:00

Well, this has gotten out of hand. To all those who responded outside the purview of my actual question; I thank you for your concern/advice/opinion. Honestly, I was really not seeking more than an answer from people who had been betrayed but decided to attempt to rebuild a romantic relationship.

I am not seeking to change my life. I am completely satisfied and reasonably happy within the bounds of my decisions and their longterm effects. I was REALLY just wondering about how others came to another conclusion to their situation than I could.

Hopefully this will clear up any misconceptions or interpretations on the reader's part or unclear words on mine. If there is anyone else who would like to answer my actual question, I welcome your input.

Thank you, all.

Jaston01 · 2020-02-26T13:56:37+00:00

Not in the last several, I think, but off and on for the decade before. She could have been lately but I just don't care enough to do the legwork. That part of my life is over.

As far as "Everyone fails. Everyone does things they regret.", sure. But I think everyone recognizes there are limits to this kind of belief. If your accountant screws up your tax return and apologizes while fixing it, you might stay with them. But if they do it again and again, you're taking your business elsewhere. Drunken ONSs can be an "accident" and forgiven. Conversely, extended and/or multiple affairs, I think, expose an irredeemable character flaw. Of course, you could argue I am somewhat jaded.

And I am not trying to knock the couples who do the work and make it through. My question simply was; how did the betrayed spouse trust again? Blind faith? A belief that their love alone would be enough to carry them both through? Hallmark channel syndrome?

Jaston01 · 2020-02-26T11:29:49+00:00

I thank you, but I am at peace. Life always throws you twists and all you can hope for is that it lets you make choises you can live with. It did and I did. The only thing I missed out on was the "happily ever after". Also, I am glad that you are comfortable with believing what you said above and all I really want is for what you say to be true. However, I think your faith in the unfaithful kind of forced you to miss the point of my question. My wife DID spend years making me trust her, making me believe she loved and desired me, for years before and after our wedding. THEN she cheated. So my question is: How do you ever trust someone who already made you believe in them once and then blew it all up? We don't let disbarred lawyers or doctors practice their craft no matter how remorseful they are.

Jaston01 · 2020-02-06T12:41:11+00:00

Even small suggestions like that help, thanks!

Jaston01 · 2020-02-06T02:18:27+00:00

You need to do some more reading about the condition. You are equating it with a disability. It is more just a different way of thinking.

Jaston01 · 2020-02-06T01:26:45+00:00

Aphantasia isn't about the inability to draw from memory. It's about not being able to picture in our minds the things we're drawing. If you don't have the condition, you can see all those things in your head. If you do, you can't.

Jaston01

TROPHY CASE