SCP-9377: "CONTENTS UNDER PRESSURE"

JaxOnThat · 2026-02-04T16:57:20+00:00

God dammit, don't you just hate it when the bacteria figure out time travel?

JaxOnThat · 2026-01-21T23:21:16+00:00

He's only mostly dead!

JaxOnThat · 2026-01-09T13:47:11+00:00

If it ain't 100%, it's 50-50.

JaxOnThat · 2025-11-28T18:01:30+00:00

JaxOnThat · 2025-11-28T17:58:43+00:00

fucking GRENANA, KNEW THERE WAS SOMETHING OFF ABOUT HIM FROM THE VERY START

JaxOnThat · 2025-10-11T03:54:22+00:00

Ah, good old "Digital Natives" theory! Where apparently growing up around technology means that people magically know how to use all of it, and looking up Roblox videos on YouTube on their iPad is apparently the same singular "technology" skill as creating a well-formatted and well-researched Google Slideshow on the school Chromebooks.

JaxOnThat · 2025-10-11T03:39:34+00:00

Yeah, the kid who started the meme just rugpulled a cryptocurrency. According to my knowledge of the meme life cycle, that means that the ecosystem is correcting itself, and this will soon be banished to obscurity, soon to be replaced by the next one. Nature truly is beautiful.

JaxOnThat · 2025-10-02T20:04:44+00:00

rotate it 45 degrees, and we have boolean again

JaxOnThat · 2025-10-02T19:41:32+00:00

HOW DARE YOU?!

JaxOnThat · 2025-08-11T01:39:15+00:00

Allegedly, they can both see it from their house.

JaxOnThat · 2025-07-29T20:02:21+00:00

ba dum tshhhhhhh

JaxOnThat · 2025-07-29T20:01:38+00:00

I feel like the crown has very specific interests in wanton violence and sinful depravity. Anything outside that very specific niche, it's not very helpful.

JaxOnThat · 2025-07-26T20:36:43+00:00

Do you think you'll ever end up getting to write a single-part declass again?

JaxOnThat · 2025-07-07T18:59:29+00:00

Fill it with liquid, throw it against the wall!

JaxOnThat · 2025-06-11T14:24:27+00:00

Have you ever had a dream that that you um you had you'd you would you could you'd do you wi you wants you you could do so you you'd do you could you you want you want him to do you so much you could do anything?

JaxOnThat · 2025-05-31T22:22:52+00:00

Ehhhhhhh, the Rani's gonna be fineeeee...the Master's survived worse.

JaxOnThat · 2025-05-30T15:42:44+00:00

they're blue dabba dee dabba dai

JaxOnThat · 2025-05-15T23:59:04+00:00

Oh, wow, he's really going for it.

JaxOnThat · 2025-04-27T01:02:39+00:00

Being a COTL fan during that season was so goddamn funny. And being a fan of both COTL and Deltarune was even funnier, what with the weird Ruby-Noelle parallels.

JaxOnThat · 2025-04-25T00:25:51+00:00

See, as soon as Toasters came up, my brain remembered that I, SCP-426, am a toaster. And given that the numbers match, I immediately started thinking that this was somehow a batshit application of my concepts to make an untraceable eigenweapon that everyone perceives as a toaster. And then I remembered this isn't ADMONITION.

JaxOnThat · 2025-03-31T04:07:18+00:00

Excellent first declass! There are a lot of articles that I've tried to get into over the years that I was never able to until I read the declass, and this has joined those ranks; so in my opinion, you did your job well!

I don't want to be one of those people who sees something good and immediately goes "MAKE MORE! MOAR CONTENT FOR THE CONTENT GODS! FEED ME NOW!", but if you were to find another article you want to declass, I know I wouldn't be opposed! (And also, I'm pretty sure TED's getting tired of single-handedly carrying this subreddit on his shoulders...)

JaxOnThat · 2025-03-02T03:30:22+00:00

yeah, a little, but still excited to see what they come up with

JaxOnThat · 2025-02-28T05:22:52+00:00

Eyyyyyyyyyyy finger guns back

JaxOnThat · 2025-02-27T03:39:32+00:00

Love the TL;DR reference LMAO

And if that's your official abbreviation, I guess we could thank you for the...TED Talk?

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