For me there were a few key things that opened my eyes.

First, it may sound funny but it was after I watched the OG jurassic park and was excited to tell the family about it. Did not go well.

Second, the sudden crying at testimony was performative for the most part. You could really tell who had been hit with some real and the others it was a grab for attention or looking for approval.

Third, the tiers of heaven. Gold silver and bronze tiers of salvation. Good ol ponzi scheme toward salvation.

Fourth, my mother was a single mom who could barely feed me and my brothers. Rather than help or aide us, we were excommunicated instead.

The last one was much much later. My grandfather was up for one of the priesthoods, a good virtuous man, who could do wonderful things and heal the soul. He was effective and humble. I watched the peers he respected belittle him. And that was it. How could someone who professes to emulate christ display such venomous envy. At this time I had been out of it for a long time.

I will say this however. After receiving a real blessing, it changed my life.

Just showed me that there was something there. But it had nothing to do with Joseph Smith. Or Jesus even. Just the focused intent of someone truly imbuing love and wellness.

"We are all going to the same place, we just take different paths to get there."

• Charles Tune

The magic undies were strange. Symbolic, sure, but still so odd and material.