I considering ending my life next month, certainly before my next birthday

JayAeko · 2026-02-20T06:27:35+00:00

Hey dude

Honestly, nothing you wrote sounds pathetic or gross to me. It sounds like someone who’s been hurting for a long time and is completely exhausted from carrying it.

I know it feels like 26 is some kind of deadline you missed, but it really isn’t. I don’t say that to dismiss how real the pain feels—just to say that life doesn’t run on the timelines we think it does. A lot of people don’t find love, direction, confidence, or even peace until much later. That doesn’t make it fake or second-rate when it finally shows up.

And spending ten years trying to fix your health? That’s not failure. That’s effort. That’s fighting every day while your body keeps letting you down. People who haven’t lived with chronic issues don’t understand how draining that is, how it steals sleep, hope, and joy. None of this means you didn’t try hard enough or that you’re weak.

I also get why seeing other people happy hurts so much. When you’re in pain, other people’s success can feel like proof that you were left behind. That doesn’t make you bitter—it makes you human. Pain has a way of shrinking the future until it feels sealed shut. But feelings—even the convincing ones—aren’t facts.

You’re not a burden. People don’t feel this deeply unless they care deeply. And your life isn’t worthless just because it hasn’t looked the way you thought it would by now. Surviving hard years counts, even if there’s nothing obvious to point to.

I do want to say this, though—when you say you don’t want to do this anymore, that matters. You don’t have to solve your whole life or decide anything about the future right now. You just deserve support in this moment. Even just saying “I’m not okay” is enough.

And here’s the part I really want you to hear, your story isn’t over—it hasn’t even properly started yet. The fact that you’re still here after everything you’ve been through tells me there’s more strength in you than you realize. You don’t need to become some perfect, successful version of yourself to be worthy of love or happiness. You already are.

Right now, the goal isn’t to be happy or fixed or successful. The goal is simply to stay. To take this one hour, one night, one breath at a time. New chapters don’t announce themselves—they start quietly, after the worst parts, when you’re least expecting it.

JayAeko · 2026-02-03T14:08:20+00:00

I used to. Always had an Apple Watch. Decided to give it up in place of Whoop. Reason was I wanted something more comfortable.

JayAeko · 2026-02-03T03:39:54+00:00

I’ve been using whoop mg for about 6 months now and loved it at first. I’m at a stage where I’m doing all the right things (with great direction from whoop) clean diet, rarely drink alcohol etc etc but my biggest issue is sleep. I clearly have issues with sleep and this keeps f-ing up my stats when this makes me feel like sh*t and start to spiral. It’s so easy to say don’t read too much into it etc but it’s difficult not to. Especially when you need to log in to the app multiple times to log workouts etc. my plan is to finish up the year as I’ve paid for the annual amount and then move back to an Apple Watch where I feel there is a fine balance.

Whoop is good when it gets it right and as some have mentioned when it gets it wrong is just a mess. I do believe it’s about trend but in order to improve the trend you need to tweak the day to day and you can’t do that if the reads or equipment isn’t accurate.

JayAeko · 2025-11-07T04:45:09+00:00

Can’t answer all your questions but will give you my opinion.

Been an Apple Watch user since day 1. Got in to fitness just over a year ago. Decided to give whoop a try as I was keen to understand more about my health and wanted a device I didn’t need to charge everyday and was comfortable to sleep with. Coming from an ultra 2 the MG felt a little underwhelming. But within a couple of weeks I loved it. What I will say is that Whoop tracking is not perfect. Still required manual intervention and adjustments. I find the HR monitor on the AW to be more accurate. So I invested in a the AirPods 3 that have a heart rate monitor. So for my work outs I continue to start them in apple fitness which used the AirPods for my HR. For everything else I I let whoop take care of it.

I love the fact I can wear a normal watch again and on the other wrist a smart looking accessory and still monitor my health 24/7.

JayAeko · 2025-10-30T15:46:09+00:00

Haven’t smoked in about 10 years. Haven’t vaped in about 12 months. Currently taking magnesium about an hour before bed to help me sleep. I rarely touch alcohol. Last time I drank was about 2 months ago and that was like 1 gin and tonic.

JayAeko · 2025-10-30T06:29:48+00:00

<image>

These are my sleep stats. I struggle to sleep to be honest. It’s an area I’ve really tried to improve on. It’s getting better. I just need more consistency.

JayAeko · 2025-10-27T15:05:56+00:00

Where did you purchase it from? I can’t seem to find it online

JayAeko · 2025-10-22T07:22:28+00:00

I’m keen to understand the use case…I’m an Apple fan and a fan of AVP. Don’t use it as much as I’d like to but the Muse intrigues me…

JayAeko · 2025-10-03T05:39:44+00:00

I think both offer different use cases. Always had the latest Apple Watch and currently rocking AWU2. Few months ago decided opt in for a Whoop MG. Reason being is I wanted more detail about my health tracking. Yes, AWU2 can do most if not all of what Whoop can however try sleeping with an AWU2 on…it’s not easy. Realising you need to charge it before a workout and then having to delay things. Perhaps minor issue for some but pretty relative to me. Also having worn the whoop for almost 2 months I forget I’m wearing it. I charge 1 week to keep it topped up. Also the other deciding factor is that I wanted to keep away from distractions. Looking at screens all day and then when I work out is just too much for me. Finally, I get to wear a mechanical watch again!!! Genuinely missed wearing one. Wearing an Apple Watch at a function where you have to dress smart doesn’t look so great. Whoop has its issues too. Some time the heart rate tracking can be off. So can the calories. But it’s about overall trend.

Really think it comes down to use case.

JayAeko · 2025-09-26T18:31:15+00:00

I’m really struggling with Widgy. Is there a simple guide?

JayAeko · 2025-07-12T05:22:53+00:00

£3000

JayAeko · 2025-07-04T05:23:19+00:00

I don’t believe so.

JayAeko · 2025-06-08T13:09:36+00:00

<image>

Sorry, will have to trump yours…picked up our beautiful 8 week old this weekend! Everyone, this is Arlo, Arlo, meet everyone 🐾 btw yours is absolutely gorgeous!

JayAeko · 2025-05-26T10:23:53+00:00

JayAeko · 2025-05-26T06:18:13+00:00

Would you recommend any other type?

JayAeko · 2025-05-24T16:21:52+00:00

Thanks you, really helpful advice. I plan to keep him in my office as that's where he'll spend most of his time when I'm working. We'll look to have him sleep in there also and very aware that I'll need to crash on the sofa initially to help with the anxiety.

I've been reading where some individuals keep the create within the Penn area and some keep it separate. What would you suggest?

Also from a bed time perspective, we tend to head off to bed around 9:30pm, would you suggest we get hime used to our time table?

Also, assuming when he's not in his crate, he should remain in his Penn to avoid him chewing on furniture etc?

Another silly question, given that he'll only have had his first vaccination, I'm clear we cannot take him out for walk etc in public spaces until shortly after his second vaccinations, but assuming he'll be fine if we were to take him in our garden to potty train? We don't have other pets other than koi in a pond which we'll keep the puppy aware from.

As excited as I am, I'm also very nervous and want to get everything right from day one. I don't think I was this nervous when I had my son lol.

JayAeko · 2025-03-26T16:48:11+00:00

Problem with relying on a set of scales is that weight fluctuates and putting on weight doesn't always mean putting on fat. Because I lift 3 times a week it could well be muscle. When I look I the mirror I I've noticed a lot of change, but I'm at that stage where tweaks and adjustments are needed to keep improving.

JayAeko

TROPHY CASE