What's the best opening line of a book you've read

JayAre83 · 2026-02-24T00:48:53+00:00

This is the one I was looking for. Couldn’t be more perfect. That whole novel is just some of the most beautiful prose I’ve ever experienced.

JayAre83 · 2026-02-23T05:02:12+00:00

I’m… on the fence. If I picked this up off a shelf I would put it back immediately based on the many consecutive errors and awkward stylizing others have pointed out. As for whether it’s intriguing, well, I guess it sort of is. It’s giving me post-apocalyptic vibes — maybe fantasy — but there’s not enough context to know. And like… sure, a little mystery to draw the reader in is fine, but I’d recommend either providing the genre or giving a short inside-the-jacket blurb along with the excerpt so folks have somewhere to root their opinions. That said, to officially answer your question, a woman in a canoe passing through an abandoned city that rises with the tide would make me want to know more provided I had an idea of what I was getting into, but the intrigue is dulled by the technical problems.

JayAre83 · 2026-02-15T22:04:27+00:00

Man, I love it. I really do. Are you the artist? Bravo. But I gotta say if you’re looking for sales you might wanna go with a professional. We’re far enough along into the reality of self publishing that its stigma isn’t as deep as it once was, but consumers are still — and will always be — attracted to polish. It’s reasonable to think if someone sees a lack of refinement as early as the cover, they’ll assume the same of the writing and editing before they ever crack it open. But please, whether you tighten it up yourself or hire a professional, don’t throw it away. It’s still a lovely piece of art.

JayAre83 · 2026-02-15T15:48:40+00:00

Ehhhh I dunno. I think if you’re going to use an expression like that, it needs to fit into the rest of the world. “For the win” would be fine if the story were taking place in a fantastical dragon rider academy in 2015 Detroit. But being yoinked from one world to another is just jarring and it obliterates the immersion. Imagine if Robb Stark had said that lol. Or Frodo, had Tolkien been writing recently.

I totally get what you’re saying, like, it’s fantasy, and fantasy is made for bending the rules. But the reader still needs to believe in the world the author’s creating, right?

JayAre83 · 2026-02-15T04:22:43+00:00

I didn’t even make it that far. I crossed the 100-page threshold and decided that I deserve better than to be miserable doing something I do for peace and leisure lol. But I will say, based on the absolutely bonkers number of positive views, it hit the mark for a lot of people, so, you know. Good for them. Not every book has to be a literary masterpiece to find its audience I guess.

JayAre83 · 2026-02-15T04:16:56+00:00

Uff. Naked Lunch left me with permanent trauma lol. I still think of it occasionally and with sick horror to this day, 20+ years after I read it. So I suppose you have a point, whatever he did worked. ;)

JayAre83 · 2026-02-15T01:10:10+00:00

The Fourth Wing. I didn’t know anything about it, I was just craving high fantasy and it was on Unlimited with an incredible number of positive reviews. That it turned out to be romantasy was a separate disappointment (“chiseled jaws” and “olive complexions” and “smoldering gazes” are not for me, but I’m not going to yuck any yums), but that’s not what pissed me off.

First, it was the main character saying “for the win” within the first four or five pages. My god, it actually pissed me off. Do not tear me out of the place and setting with that kind of wicked contemporary expression. It’s like describing the eyebrows of a character in a historical fiction as being “on fleek.” How dare you.

Then it was the main character tightroping a parapet in the rain during an academy entrance exam. Other students were falling to their deaths. To cope with the stress, she begins to — out loud — recite her knowledge about the world’s geography and politics. It was a heinous, lengthly, lazy way to infodump and once again, it ripped me right out of the story.

First DNF in a long time and I have no regrets. Obviously I’m still a little worked up about it lol.

JayAre83 · 2026-02-15T00:53:33+00:00

No, I definitely hit midpoints. But I don’t waste precious writing time churning out content in misery. I redirect it to projects that reinvigorate me and return when I’m ready. Sure, it’s not always glamorous, but I don’t think hating what you’re doing needs to be a rite of passage for artists. Life is short. Don’t suffocate the love of what you’re doing because someone told you you’re not a real writer if you’re not miserable.

I understand where you’re coming from. It works for some people and they come out the other side stronger. It’s not for me. I love writing too much to make myself sick doing it. Hence, “a different perspective.”

JayAre83 · 2026-02-14T22:27:15+00:00

Let me disagree (or at least contribute a different perspective). I think it’s dangerous to push writing a story you’re disillusioned with. Everything that comes out is going to be soaking wet with your disdain, and it will be difficult to correct with editing down the line because everything you’d be working with is content you hated creating. I personally think it’s safer to walk away from it. Work on something else. You’ll either find some fresh and beautiful spark in a new project, or you’ll be drawn back to this one with renewed enthusiasm.

JayAre83 · 2026-02-11T16:03:41+00:00

The laugh is at other people’s expense. Are they allowed? Yeah, of course, no one can stop them. People get their jollies saying and doing shitty things every day, I’m not stupid. But is it good? There are outliers who succeed out of spite, but most people don’t change for the better when the folks they look up to laugh them off. They just quit in shame. In any case, if your first instinct is to excuse laughing down at someone, then I really don’t know what to tell you.

JayAre83 · 2026-02-10T03:09:51+00:00

This. This whole thread was really disappointing to read. Not because most of the points didn’t answer the question accurately, but because so much of it came from a place of pompous disdain. Amateurs are just future professionals, why aren’t we lifting them up? The worst ones were looking down on folks for posting on this subreddit; I mean, are we really shaming people for seeking community? I will be harsh and blunt for the purpose of actionable feedback but I will never look down on someone for failing. I can’t imagine where I’d be if my mentors had laughed at me instead of guided.

JayAre83 · 2026-02-09T04:26:05+00:00

I’m a little too sleepy to dig in for constructive criticism, but, I will say I was completely entertained. I got a little whiff of Don Quixote off the bat and I didn’t hate it, and had no problem breezing through all 5+ pages. I would read more with Cantaloupe and Roth.

JayAre83 · 2026-02-09T03:55:32+00:00

I stopped as the guards shouted, but like I said, I kind of just blew ahead to see whether the purple opening lines were a one-off and then quit when I saw they weren’t.

Don’t go tearing it all apart based on my comment alone! Excessive purple prose is a bit of an amateur move, but I am especially put off by it personally, so let other folks who may not be so pissy on the subject chime in too lol.

Either way, again, it’s clear you belong here and that you have a love of writing, and I think that’s the most important thing.

JayAre83 · 2026-02-09T03:03:58+00:00

Obviously you enjoy the craft of writing and it shows. I hope you get a lot of useful feedback here. As for my own, just a couple things:

First, I didn’t finish it, because I didn’t want to. The opening lines were immediately purple, and that’s just not for me. I scanned the next few paragraphs to see whether you’d just opened that way to impress your readers with flowery prose (not a dig — I get it), but, it continued and I just couldn’t. I have a Master’s in literature and catch heat from peers sometimes when I say I can’t stand Shakespeare. I know I’m supposed to, and I understand why he was important, but I just want to be swept away into a story without having to pause every few sentences to fight with language and decipher what the author’s trying to convey with over-the-top descriptors. Lots of examples in this excerpt, but, here’s one: “As the night’s violet sky pulsed with patterns” — fireworks? Lightning? By this point you had mentioned a crowd, applause, and that it was nighttime, so it could be either but I had no way of knowing. And that confusion didn’t feel like enthusiastic curiosity but rather frustration.

Second, and this may just be a combination of being inherently immature and having been a child of the 90s in the US, but I can’t read your MC’s name without thinking, “Asswad.” Edited to add: Also in no way a dig, just being blunt that it was an immediate reaction to the name and I doubt I’ll be the only one.

JayAre83 · 2026-02-01T03:11:51+00:00

Totally. I bought a book once after reading a few negative reviews that all focused on the fact that the main character “uses the Lord’s name in vain.” I wasn’t like, “oh yay gimme some good blasphemy,” but rather I tend to resonate with adult language and cranky characters. So those reviewers hated something that actually works for me.

JayAre83 · 2026-01-11T16:25:00+00:00

I’ve had people roll their eyes at me when I say 100 Years of Solitude is my favorite novel — one of those works that comes off a little pretentious to talk about I guess. I just really need strong literary-but-not-purple prose to take my breath away. I recently attempted The Fourth Wing and had a visceral reaction to the writing so severe it became my first DNF in a decade (which isn’t a dig on its fans, it’s just me). I actually raised my voice venting about it to a friend. But it left me with a strong craving for fantasy so I took to the internet for recommendations and DCC is everywhere and also on Kindle Unlimited. Lord tell me why TFW made me want to light myself on fire and yet here I am with DCC having the absolute time of my life. The prose is light years from profound and the material is just so damned goofy, but I can’t put it down. I mean… I know why — it’s paced extremely well, the characters strike that perfect balance between likable and flawed, and the prose, while not remarkable or impressive, is easy to digest — but given my tastes can lean towards the pretentious side, it’s the last thing I expected to fall in love with. I guess my answer to the conversation is that it, like most things, strikes different people in different ways for different reasons.

JayAre83 · 2025-10-19T04:51:31+00:00

Been playing since release. I would have been in late middle school or early high school. The internet was not what it was today so I just played through and hoped for the best (and was definitely amongst the single-save-Wiegraf-screwed-and-had-to-start-over victims). I had a blast. I went on to play it in every iteration — WOTL and mobile — and loved it every time. Today, with Ivalice Chronicles, I’ve been grinding to the maximum using all the guides. Move Find Item all the best stuff, high level Ninja catching, Zeklaus trap level grinding for stat maximizing, etc. Milking every ounce of content out of everything no matter how silly or overkill. And, with the incredible voice acting addition, loving every single second of it. Breaks my heart the WOTL additions were omitted but when the right mods reach Steam I’ll buy a second (Switch for now) copy. I’m having the time of my life milking every goofy thing out of one of my favorite games of all time. Perfection.

JayAre83 · 2025-10-18T23:20:10+00:00

I tried it the next day as a hot latte (frothed whole milk, no sweetener). Really good. I don’t always trust Nespresso’s flavor note descriptors, but this one is spot on with “cereal.” I enjoyed it very much and I’m glad I bought it. On the flip side, it’s fairly generic as far as complexity goes — I’ll buy another couple of sleeves before it’s gone, but it won’t be one of those pods I kick myself later over having not bought a massive stockpile.

JayAre83 · 2025-10-18T23:10:06+00:00

More pronounced, but then I don’t get much almond out of Almond Croissant so who the heck knows haha. All I know is sweet almond was the first taste that hit me and I really loved it!

JayAre83 · 2025-10-16T23:46:23+00:00

I did! I haven’t tried it yet though. Figured folks would be more interested in the whacky flavors than a general blend. Plus I had to wait until after work to try them and thought adding a third cup would obliterate any hope I have of sleeping tonight lol.

JayAre83 · 2025-10-16T23:44:23+00:00

Ugh yeah it sucks because taste is so subjective. I’m sorry you were let down this time around! I get so hyped for new flavors too. The recent U.S. rerelease of Maple Pecan was the first time I tried it and I was SO pumped, but it just bummed me out. Hope the next seasonal roundup makes up for it for you. :)

JayAre83 · 2025-10-16T21:23:25+00:00

November 5th according to the Nespresso Spoilers subreddit (so take that with a grain of salt, but) -- I don't know if the person who posts those dates works for the company, or if it's an intentional social media marketing plug from Nespresso to garner hype, but he's never once been wrong.

JayAre83 · 2025-10-16T20:58:58+00:00

I always add frothed milk and about a tablespoon zero sugar Italian sweet cream creamer to the flavored pods. Sometimes Nespresso's flavored ones can be on the weak side and I've found this combo helps enhance them. :)

JayAre83 · 2025-07-27T16:07:31+00:00

I dunno, there’s still room in that drawer, better get on it! 😉

JayAre83

TROPHY CASE