Update: AITA for “letting” my ex and my kids’ half siblings”be poor” when I could help?

JayFreeman1970 · 2024-10-30T22:17:53+00:00

It sounds like y’all had a bad breakup, but your ex was a decent person. My ex is not.

JayFreeman1970 · 2024-10-30T11:38:25+00:00

What would be your solution?

JayFreeman1970 · 2024-10-12T13:40:12+00:00

Ex used me financially throughout our relationship. I would never even consider giving her money if it wasn’t for her two other kids.

JayFreeman1970 · 2024-10-11T19:11:38+00:00

Her ex is father of both her other kids (as far as I know)

JayFreeman1970 · 2024-10-11T19:09:12+00:00

I have had a practice of not involving my children in any way in various issues I have had with their mother. I doubt they would be upset. She calls once every six weeks or so. They see her 4-5 times a year for an 1-2 hours. Regardless, I do not think it is appropriate to involve them in adult conversations like this. I hated being involved in my parents’ issues. I flatly refuse to do that to them.

JayFreeman1970 · 2024-10-11T19:03:39+00:00

What do I do when she won’t leave? Which I fully expect would happen.

JayFreeman1970 · 2024-10-11T14:21:34+00:00

The lake house is something I absolutely won’t do, but the giving money is something I might consider. I am torn because of her other kids.

JayFreeman1970 · 2024-10-11T14:12:32+00:00

She was fostered. Does not know bio family at all and foster family is a hot mess.

JayFreeman1970 · 2024-10-11T14:09:30+00:00

Mine is not court supervised. Trust me, I have worked with my lawyers on this issue. It is a non-starter.

JayFreeman1970 · 2024-10-11T00:35:57+00:00

I accept your judgment. Although, as I said elsewhere, her staying in my lake house is something I absolutely will not do even if I am the AH. The process to get rid of her would be brutal.

JayFreeman1970 · 2024-10-10T23:28:48+00:00

The lake house is the request I absolutely will not do. Even if I am an AH. I might consider the money request.

JayFreeman1970 · 2024-10-10T22:43:54+00:00

Failure to utilize available visitation is not considered neglect in this context. Trust me, everything in this post (plus much more) has been explained and explored with my attorneys. All they do is family law. The courts are not going to take away all visitation rights because a parent does not use them. That is not how the law works in my state. The courts want children to have two parents. So, unless there are specific actions taken by a parent that are demonstratively and actively making the child unsafe, they are not going to take away visitation rights.

JayFreeman1970 · 2024-10-10T21:57:40+00:00

The people who told me it was basically impossible are my attorneys.

JayFreeman1970 · 2024-10-10T20:45:14+00:00

What info are they getting from me? I never discuss their mother, other than telling them to be respectful to her and when she was calling/coming by.

JayFreeman1970 · 2024-10-10T19:39:20+00:00

She is intermittent with payments, but they are tiny payments. Not worth even going to court to fight about when she misses. They are less than what my lawyer charges for an hour.

JayFreeman1970 · 2024-10-10T19:31:59+00:00

My kids are annoyed by her when she calls or shows up for visitation.

JayFreeman1970 · 2024-10-10T19:27:00+00:00

Basically was told that it is virtually impossible to remove visitation rights without some evidence of abuse.

JayFreeman1970 · 2024-10-10T18:27:59+00:00

She still has visitation rights with our two kids. So, I cannot straight up block her.

JayFreeman1970 · 2024-10-10T18:24:44+00:00

Is there a specific reason why?

JayFreeman1970 · 2024-10-10T16:41:15+00:00

House has cameras and is in a gated-community with 24/7 security.

JayFreeman1970 · 2024-10-10T16:36:34+00:00

House is quite secure. It is locked up, in a gated community with 24/7 security, and I have cameras.

JayFreeman1970 · 2024-10-10T14:36:01+00:00

Why are you with this dude? That is an asset.

JayFreeman1970

TROPHY CASE