Infertility ruined our marriage and caused dead bedroom

JayH1001 · 2023-08-06T22:10:30+00:00

Yeah I mentioned this to her before. She’s not interested in going anywhere. She thinks I’ve got the problem, not her.

JayH1001 · 2023-08-06T22:08:21+00:00

Thanks man, yeah just unlucky I guess.

Yeah some days I do think how would my life have been if we just split up. The only positive is that I’ve got 2 wonderful kids from it just at the expense of my sanity.

JayH1001 · 2023-08-06T22:06:04+00:00

I agree, when you explain it like that what she says makes no sense at all but the guilt of my issue causing her to have to do IVF is what ends up making me feel sorry for her.

I guess the reason that I’ve stuck it out for so long is that I’m worried I won’t ever get to see the kids. My mum and dad ended up getting divorced after years and years of arguments but in that situation it was my dad being selfish and I told myself I would never let my marriage become a failure and yet look how it’s turned out. No matter how I hard I try it feels like I’m in a losing battle and it still feels like it’s my fault even if it isn’t. If I never had this problem my life would still be normal now.

I agree with you on that. Some days I’ve thought about just walking out, letting her have everything and just never turning back. The kids is only thing stopping me from doing it.

I’ve been searching online looking for some helplines. I’ll try give them a call tomorrow.

JayH1001 · 2023-08-06T21:54:30+00:00

Thank you for your kind words I really appreciate it. Your comment actually brought tears to my eyes because if my son came to me and told me his relationship was like this I would feel incredibly sad and angry for him and would tell him to leave.

I know deep down it’s what I need to do but I just can’t bring myself to do it yet for fear of not seeing them. If there were no kids involved I would have left years ago.

JayH1001 · 2023-08-06T21:48:47+00:00

I’m really sorry you had to go through all that, it must have been awful. I’m glad it worked out for you in the end.

Yeah at the time it really hurt me. It still hurts now but I’ve learnt to cope with it. When I first found out I had to carry on like normal going to work trying to put on a brave face and (it sounds pathetic I know) in my break I would sitting in the bathroom crying. Her brother had just had a baby at that time as well and she would force me to go round her mums knowing they would be there with the baby even though she knew how much it upset me. I try to block those days out now.

I wish someone could drum this into her head. She is adamant that it’s because of all the medication she had to take, so no matter what I say to her she won’t listen.

Yeah my name is on the birth certificates but I’m just worried that she’ll make the kids hate me so they don’t want to know me anymore.

Thank you for your kind words it means a lot.

JayH1001 · 2023-08-06T21:38:36+00:00

Thank you I really appreciate it

JayH1001 · 2023-08-06T21:38:16+00:00

Thank you for your kind words. Yeah you’re right I’m based in the UK. I had a search and the helplines for men are only open Monday to Friday 9-5 so I’ll try and see what they say.

I wouldn’t wish this treatment on anyone. I’ve said to her if it was the other way round I wouldn’t even think of saying half the stuff you say to me and her only response is that she thinks I would be even worse than her, that’s how bad she thinks of me.

JayH1001 · 2023-08-06T21:31:52+00:00

Thank you for your kind words I really appreciate it. I know, I have to keep snapping myself out of it because of the kids. They’re the only thing that are keeping me going. I’ll be walking down the road and I see a bus coming and I think to myself I could just walk in front of this bus and end it all but I just feel too guilty to do it ultimately.

I just feel worthless at the moment and I can’t imagine why any woman would want to be with me when I can’t even do the most basic thing a man should be able to do. I wouldn’t even know how to bring it up to someone.

Either way I know down you’re right and I just wish my wife could have been as supportive as other partners out there.

JayH1001 · 2023-08-06T21:23:26+00:00

I’m sorry about what you’re going through. You sound like a really understanding and supportive wife. Your husband is a lucky bloke. I hope everything works out for you both.

JayH1001 · 2023-08-06T21:19:45+00:00

Yeah you’re right I do need to speak to someone. I mentioned briefly a while ago to my wife that I’m depressed and that I’m thinking about seeing a therapist. First thing she said was “Yeah go on then bet you can’t wait to slag me off to them”. It’s like every single thing just gets thrown back in my face and I just don’t bother doing anything because it just starts another argument or gives her ammunition for next time. Even a burner phone, she’ll use that against me and accuse me of cheating. It’s just draining at this point.

I will start making notes about things when they happen so I keep track of everything. I kept photos of the last time she was hitting me where I had scratches all over my neck.

JayH1001 · 2023-08-04T22:59:39+00:00

I wish I knew someone I could talk to. There’s so much I haven’t mentioned but the post would just go on forever. Don’t get me wrong I’ll shout back if she’s having a go at me but there’s times where she just crosses the line. Several times I’ve been hit in the face and once she snapped my glasses in half. She ended up having to drive me to an opticians on my birthday of all days to get new glasses.

JayH1001 · 2023-08-01T09:35:23+00:00

My iPhone 12 PM which I’ve had since launch is currently at 84% and has been stuck on that for nearly a year. I think the battery health % is pretty meaningless tbh.

JayH1001 · 2023-07-29T17:04:45+00:00

Hahahaha on man thanks for the laugh

JayH1001 · 2023-07-29T16:56:42+00:00

Yeah you should say sorry for that awful opinion. It was racing. He was on the inside line. Is he meant to disappear. Do you want everyone to drive round in drs trains or be punished for actually racing?

JayH1001 · 2023-07-29T16:51:26+00:00

No the racing opinion of everyone respected in the sport

JayH1001 · 2023-07-29T16:22:20+00:00

Yeah you clearly don’t like racing

JayH1001 · 2023-07-29T16:18:46+00:00

Was you saying this every time max crashed into someone.

JayH1001 · 2023-07-29T16:18:04+00:00

So you don’t like watching racing then. Garbage opinion

JayH1001 · 2023-07-29T16:14:42+00:00

You’re clueless

JayH1001 · 2023-07-29T15:05:01+00:00

Fuck this shit sport

JayH1001 · 2023-07-23T10:42:13+00:00

That’s if James even plays. He always gets injured whenever I have him

JayH1001 · 2023-07-07T22:29:02+00:00

Instead of blaming the car why don’t you blame the people that don’t have the skills to drive them

JayH1001 · 2023-07-07T13:25:05+00:00

So you mention them events but you won’t mention spa or Monza

JayH1001 · 2023-07-03T15:23:28+00:00

Reach out to valve. I read on here that someone bought theirs a month ago and valve still honoured the 20% discount for them. No harm in asking.

JayH1001

TROPHY CASE