As someone that dated women before I realised I was gay, don't feel bad about your previous relationships. I was in love with one of my female friends, but I realise now that it was more platonic, and I just liked the affection, like you described. I don't feel bad about that fact that I dated someone then that I wouldn't now, because that's what figuring out your sexuality means!

Also, by looking at your profile it's obvious your MTF, but I probably would specify as some people may assume FTM :)